About me

[Jan W]

OK girls this thread is all about trying to explain how we as individuals feel about ourselves.

Also where we feel we are going.

I am comfortable with my transgenderd feelings and very much enjoy all things that go with it. I can manage to relate some TG element into most of my activities. EG if I need to attend a function away I can include some Jan time afterwards. If I need to buy my wife or daughter a present Jan seems to receive one too, if I need to re arrange my work situation Jan features in some small way always!

As to where Jan is going she is very much a work in progress. She is becoming more prominant with each passing year. Also to make the big break becomes more difficult with each passing year - how ironic is that?

So to sum up I am happy with Jan being around - how are you re your alternate persona? Is she a welcome part of your life or a nuisance?

Have a think and if you feel like sharing let us know.

Jan

[Beauty]

Hi Jan,

If there's anything I like to read it's posts about getting to know Jan better. Thank you!!

Gracie

[Merinda]

So to sum up I am happy with Jan being around - how are you re your alternate persona? Is she a welcome part of your life or a nuisance?

Have a think and if you feel like sharing let us know.

Jan

HI Jan this is a bit like the " is crossdressing a gift or a curse"? thread

I'm happy for Merinda to be around on my persona even when I'm not dressed , as each year goes on other peoples opinion of me matters less and less .
I'm going to enjoy who I am and dress when I can .

[Jan W]

Thanks for the replies Gracie and Merinda.

I suppose the reason for the post is the uncertainty of the future.

Jan

[Beauty]

Hi Jan,

What do you mean?

Gracie

[Elizabeth]

Hi Jan W,

What a nice thread, I have been thinking about this very subject my own self. Where is my life going with all this transgenderedness? The simple answer is, I don't know, the future is uncertain. When has anything ever turned out the way I thought it would?...........Never!!!!!!

And even though I do not know what is going to happen, it does not keep me from wondering about it. The last year has been such a whirlwind for me, that in no way could I have predicted what actually happened. And yet for that very reason, it leaves me wondering about the future.

I recently signed up for college. I am going back to school. I am too young to accept being disabled. While I may not be able to do my old job, I can get an education and do a job does not require as much physical strength and stamina. But I would be lying if I said the experience was not a bit unnerving. A whole host of buildings primarily filled with young people 17-22 years old, the most homophobic demagraphic.

But it is my intention to go to school dressed as myself, so I figured I might was well just jump in. I went alone, and was treated absolutely wonderful by all the faculty, as well as I didn't really get any "bad looks". A few double takes from curiosity, but I felt absolutely comfortable. I beleive college as a transgendered person is going to be real nice here in California.

Obviously with my major being physics, I will be looking for a job as a researcher. It is my hope that I will get a job without having to pretend to be a man. I am not afraid to do that if I must, but I am going to put all my effort into getting a job as my femme self.

My new wife, Raven(SO), is really a loving and caring person who totally accepts me for who I am. It is of no concern to her what I wear or where i wear it. She is totally supportive of me. In fact, if it were possible for me to transition, she would support me, love me, and most importantly, stay by my side. She loves me, not the package I am in.

I have been estranged from my brother and oldest daughter as a result of all that transpired in the last year, but I have made a new connection with two of my brothers and two of my sisters, all of whom are supportive of me and my transgenderedness.

While I can not say what will happen, I can say that me and my family are in a positive groove. We have a positive focus and spend most of our time talking about what is right in our life, as opposed to what is wrong in our life. We have a positive outlook and grow closer as a family every single day.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Beauty]

Hi Elizabeth,

That is such GREAT, GREAT news!!!

I'm so proud of your for going back to school, going back to school as you are, being a loving hubby, and getting connected again with a few of your siblings.

You are so awesome!!!

Gracie

[Loretta Ann]

how are you re your alternate persona? Is she a welcome part of your life or a nuisance?

Have a think and if you feel like sharing let us know.

Well Jan I have had a good thunk about this, and have come to the conclusion that the truthful answer is Both.

Her ward robe is so large that it can definitely become a nuisance at times.

[Anita]

Hi Jan--
I can echo Elizabeth here. I could never have imagined what I've managed to do in the last few years, so I have a lot of respect for my gal self's ability to bring together the things I need to make "her" life work better.

I'm very happy having myself/Anita around. (See how hard it is to avoid third person?) I have some hard problems to solve in coming years, regarding retirement and health coverage, but I can deal with them so much better from two approaches to the challenge.

I'm making a big effort to make time for the women friends I have. Whether I do this as a guy or a gal is not important at the moment. It's making the time, and then sticking to it. One of my ex-girlfriends is finally going to meet "me," at a benefit concert I'm doing. That's been two years in coming, and I'm looking forward to it, awkward as it may be.

Like Merinda said, people's opinions matter less and less. There's a strong feeling that I am going to do what I want and need to do, because time here is not unlimited. "If not now, when?" becomes a weekly (if not daily) question for me at the moment.

I plan to dress flashier onstage--I've got to put us "over the top" even more than we already are. I also want to take a day off each week to offer spiritual counseling--and again, I may do that as either gender. I'm definitely going to advertise that I can help with gender-related items! I don't have to have solved all the problems in my life in order to help other people. I'll see who shows up at my door--should be interesting.

[Merinda]

Thanks for the replies Gracie and Merinda.

I suppose the reason for the post is the uncertainty of the future.

Jan

Hi Jan , heres my future as I see it-

I will continue to push the boundaries with my photo excursions throughout next year and part of the year after until satisfied that I have achieved my goals , after that I will have a large photographic record of my time.

I will then relax into a more "non-agenda" form of dressing and dress at home or go out with the social group at organised get-togethers when available.

I am dropping the photosessions in the future because I dont want to live with this feeling of "must-do" , "must get this finished " , " this dress has not been photographed yet " and "I cant fit this in the album so I wont dress for a time until I start the next photo album".

I have a lot to achieve in the next 20 months but after that I will take the relaxed non-agenda route.

[Absaroka]

I will probably contradict something I have said recently but I feel like my femme personas get to express a lot of themselves while I am in male mode. As a male I can be nurturing, emotional, artistic. I can also be very self centered but that's certainly not an exclusively male trait.

I like the comments in another thread about the GG's doing the dishes while the CD's sit around being in touch with their inner woman. I have to admit to that in male mode. It's just so much easier. On the other hand I do a bunch of "male" things in the family that need to be done, like fixing broken mechanical objects and so on. I know GG's who like to do this but it is as traditionally male as nurturing is traditionally female.

I wish I was better atuned to others like so many women are. But it is so much hard work! Furthermore when I try I usually blow it and make wrong conclusions so I have abandoned the intuitively knowing where others are at thing because it causes too many problems. Better to just ask if I don't know.

I do feel that whoever I am is growing and I am happy about that.

Andrea

[Charlene Marie]

Hi Jan,

Enjoyed your thread very much. Sometimes I think my " Alternate Persona" is the only thing that keeps me sane. I'm very confortable with Charlene, I just wish other people who I love were comfortable with her to.
I have a wonderful relationship with my wife, I love her very much and would not want to ever be away from her. We've been married 25 years and it was in the last 12 years that I told her about Charlene. that is a very long story, and I'll fill you all in sometime.

Basicly, my wife accepts Charlene, but she doesn't want to participate with her. She doesn't understand why I have to be Charlene sometimes and I can't blame her, I don't even understand it myself.


My wife has what I like to call a "Mothers Love" . A mothers child can do allmost anything and the mother will still love them.

My wife kids around sometimes. She came home from the Mall one
Saturday afternoon and showed me a new purse she bought. Really HOT
black seude. I told her it was really nice and she said: " Now if Charlene wants to borrow this, make sure she puts it back in the box."

We both cracked up laughing. I love her so much.

[Virginia]

Interesting to look down the path and try and see where we will be in the future! I don't see any major changes for Virginia except that she may get even more involved with "our" community. I will share on big secret that I do dwell on, perhaps too much, but like all ladies it is cause for concern and that is losing one's looks. I have a TG friend who is some what younger than I am and she is having a face lift in December. We all want to look our best, for as long as we can, so I intend to continue to exercise, drink lots of water and just keep on keeping on!
Love ya,
Virginia