Sallee
I guess the fact that it gets old means I am just a cross dresser, which is Okay ...Sallee...
I think it's fair to say that. Unless one is living full time, few of us have the opportunity to dress for any length of time, so for many, the thrill (or hint of thrill) is likely always there. Before I came out to anyone, I would always look forward to a dressing opportunity with such anticipation that it would became all-consuming in the days preceding it. However, that level of excitement was tempered with a deep feeling of disappointment at having to put the clothes away again afterwards. The range of emotions within a matter or 24 hours were incredible. Back then, I would cram in as much as I could in the little time I had - trying on as many different outfits as I had available (either borrowed or my own). Also, different makeup looks, stuff like that. Not forgetting to leave myself enough time to put everything back again before my wife got home. (OK, how many of you ever did that, only to leave yourself less and less time to get cleaned up?)
Now if something happened that prevented me from enjoying my dressing opportunity, I remembered feeling really down for days afterwards.
Nowadays though, I'm fortunate enough to have many more opportunities than I used to and also don't have to hide anymore. The range of emotions I just described have levelled out considerably and I think that has more to do, not just with opportunity, but with how we feel about ourselves.
Getting back to what you said there Sallee, when you have more opportunity then it's only natural that the novelty will wear off after a while. The good thing is that as CD's our desire to dress, whether for just a day or longer, will always be there. With you having four days to enjoy your femme self, it must have felt like that vacation to a place you always wanted to go. However, once there, it wasn't what you imagined, hence the fog you described. As a crossdresser, we do spend a lot of dress up time trying to pretty ourselves up and that takes a lot of effort. Sustaining that for a period of time is hard work! Ask any woman. But many CD's tend to dress as though they're going out on the town, rather than for comfort. Why, because we feel prettier and sexier when all dressed up than we might in a pair of jeans and a T. Nothing wrong in that of course. That's part of the fun.
You described doing quite a lot of things in those first couple of days which sounds more like 'cramming' to me. Compare it to a sprinter taking part in a marathon. He might be the quickest out of the blocks, but do you think he'll make it to the finish line first. Nope. You have to pace yourself. Perhaps you expended all that energy (anticipation) in those first couple of days that you had nothing left to see you though to the end? Makes sense to me.
Glad you got to enjoy that time to yourself but maybe next time, just take it in stride and do whatever 'feels' right. If it means throwing on some jeans and a T, do it. I think as you get more in tune with yourself, that part should come naturally.
Stephanie
.. Spacey Sallee
I can't say I've really ever experienced that buzz you had where it turned into a fog, but who knows if it won't happen one day.
Carol Ann
