If you don't like the way I'm driving, YOU come get these handcuffs off!
If you are close enough to read this, I am close enough to slam on my brakes and sue you.
Don't look back - they might be gaining on you.
Drive carefully - we need every taxpayer we can get.
Don't make me mad - I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Go on, I'll see you at the next traffic light.
I may be slow but I'm ahead of you!
Where are we going and what am I doing in this handbasket?
On the back of an old pickup: If this truck was a horse, I'd have to shoot it.
I brake for tailgaters - hard.
If you can read this, you are in phaser range.
My kid was Prisoner of the Month at Orange County Jail.
If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
Thank You For Pot Smoking.
To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
Horn Broken...Watch For Finger.
It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
I have the body of a god ... Buddha.
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
- SL
Proud Military Family - Navy, Army, Coast Guard, National Guard 
Don't let Virginia know about this!! 
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