How is your relationship with your mother,are you very close or very distant.
My 4 sons are closer to me than their father,however my daughters are closer to their father.
IF you have told your mother about your dressing,or she found out,how did it affect your relationship.
It was suggested that my early Cding in my mothers clothes were an expression of warm feelings I had towards her as a child. Also of course all the Oedipal stuff. I was 8 when it started.
I had a good relationship with my mom as a child. In my teenage years it deteriorated terribly. If she was alive today wearing her clothes would probably feel disgusting.
Absaroka
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
I am estranged from my mother and have been since 1992. Before that we were not exactly close. In fact we did not exchange gifts at birthdays or Christmas or contact one another on holidays. It has nothing to do with crossdressing, we just don't like each other.
My mother died of alcoholism when I was seven. I only saw her about three times in my life up to that point.
Does she know that I am a crossdresser?? YES!
I share her name = Virginia!
I have no doubt that she is proud of her daughter!!!
How do I know this? It is my understanding of how quantum physics and quantum mechanics works and a relatively new scientific principle called
"connecting threads."
I can even say my deceased grandmother knows and is also proud of her "granddaughter" and I also share her name = Irene
It is out there girls, just seek it!!
Love you all,
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
This is a good idea for a discussion topic, Penny. It's been suggested by some psychoanalytically-oriented therapists and researchers (Stoller, for instance) that gender disturbances in boys and men are a result of an over-identification to the mother (along with an emotionally absent or distant father). I know this has been my case.
When I was a child, I used to sit on the edge of her bed and watch her get ready for work. She had no qualms about sitting there at the vanity, in her underwear, applying her makeup. I used to play with her clothes, which she'd laid out on the bed. It was very soft, very slinky, very sexy.
My mother and her own mother were very close. In 1984, in the months before her death, I "interviewed" my grandmother. I fessed up to her, telling her I was a CD and that I was looking to know just what kind of relationship my mother and I had when I was a very young child. My grandmother had a confession of her own to make. She told me that she always thought that my mother and I were much too close. She'd even told my mother that she (my mother) needed to put some distance between herself and and her son. My mother allegedly pooh-poohed these concerns away. My grandmother had often witnessed me playing with my mother's clothing and makeup. From my grandmother's telling of it, my mother would admonish me; she didn't want me playing with her stuff... not because it wasn't right for a boy to do so but, rather, because she didn't want her clothing or makeup ruined. Apparently, I also spent much time, as a lad, brushing my mother's hair.
I've always been emotionally and physically much closer to my mother than to my father. This, despite the fact that, from the time I was nine or ten years old, my father is the one who raised us. This is not as true today as it was, though; she lives far away from Montreal and we don't talk as often as we used to.
My mother has always known about my CD'ing. She never encouraged it (certainly not consciously, anyway); neither did she ever try to discourage it. All she only ever wanted was for me to be happy. To her credit, her attitude paid off; I'm a fairly well-adjusted individual.
The fact that my mother's a "great-souled" and open-minded person has been instrumental in her accepting (and, yes, loving) who I am today--unreservedly and unconditionally. She's given me clothing, makeup (she even gave me many precious makeup application tips--she was a rep for Revlon back in the 70's), and access to all manner of fashion magazines. She's never bought me women's clothing when I was younger but I know she's the kind of person that would've done so had I asked. In the last couple of years, as my transness blossomed more than it ever previously had, she opened the door wide, telling me that I could go live with her as Christina if I wanted to.
But things are never so easy, right? To this day, my relationship with my mother is somewhat, well, pained. The guilt she feels at having "abandoned" us when I was ten years old and my own need to distance myself from a mother with whom I feel I've over-identified as a boy complicates things for us. She feels that I've abandoned her and this causes her much suffering even though I explain to her that I'm merely trying to "re-adjust" our degree of emotional closeness so that I can more easily understand what part of me is her son... and what part of me is her daughter.
My mother reads this forum almost daily. She's done so for the past three years. She says it's the only way that she can now get to better know who I am as we don't often talk on the phone or e-mail each other.
Mom,
If you're reading this, know that I love you. I have many emotional failings or quirks, true. But lack of affection for you is certainly not one of them. Both you and Dad have had a great role to play in making me the person I am today. And I'm coming, finally, to love the person I am.
They say that for a normal well adjusted person the most passionate love affair you ever have will be with your mother when you are two years old. However I do think something which would have been fairly innocuous for most young boys happened when I was about 4 or so that I did not move beyond. I've never been good at moving beyond things anyway.
Absaroka
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
Well mom is long gone but she was the one who except me totally. No dad so it was her and I and at age 13 she came home from work early in the middle of the day and caught me red handed, ( but thats another story). Anyway in the out come she let me dress and told me one day it was fun having a daughter, she even said I always wonder what you would have looked like if you were born a girl.
I am closer to my Mom than my Dad even though I did more things with my Dad. My Dad was the quiet type, and my Mom is the very vocal one. But I could go between my Mom and Dad helping around the house or outside with no problem. I learn to cook, clean, sew, set a proper table, use power tools, chain saw, split wood, and build building. I guess you could say I am a Jack and Jill of all trades.
KimberlyS - CD
A guy in a Skirt, ph, blouse, steel toe work boots, tool belt power tools and appron.
Site Administrator
I am a physically male person that likes to wear feminine clothes at times.
Just trying keep a balance for my self along with keeping my wife and kids in mind.
I am close to my mother. She knows about my CDing and has been to dinner and shopping with me dressed. She enoys it. My father died 25 years ago. We were close, but he would never have accepted my CDing.
My Marie finally told her mother of 70 + years that she was transgendered.Marie actually told her that she was'nt sure about her gender,as I have not mentioned as yet that Marie is on a journey of transition.I was amazed at her strength and understanding and I know Marie was too.
It was a step that marie needed to take,she faced fear and found courage,I was immensley proud of her.Now we have to take those steps a little wider as we approach a Gender Sex Therapist and a psychologist.
Here is a poem from the book Celtic art,which I feel is of value here,
The most grossly neglected energy source
on earth is human energy.
You all possess greatyer powers than you imagine.
Thought,for instance;your thoughts can cripple,nourish or destroy.
Wield them wisely,always remembering that the twin of power is responsibilty.
from Merlin the Immortal
