This is how it happens

[Kyra]

IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE PLAN
AND THEN CAME THE ASSUMPTIONS
AND THE ASSUMPTIONS WERE WITHOUT BASIS
AND THE PLAN WAS COMPLETELY WITHOUT SUBSTANCE
AND DARKNESS FELL UPON THE FACE OF THE WORKERS
AND THEY SPOKE AMONG THEMSELVES, SAYING
"IT IS A CROCK OF SH*T, AND IT STINKETH."
AND THE WORKERS WENT UNTO THEIR SUPERVISORS AND SAYETH
"IT IS A PAIL OF DUNG, AND NONE MAY ABIDE BY THE ODOR THEREOF."
AND THE SUPERVISORS WENT UNTO THEIR MANAGER, AND SAYETH
"IT IS A CONTAINER OF EXCREMENT AND IT IS VERY STRONG, SUCH
THAT NONE MAY ABIDE BY IT
AND THE MANAGERS WENT UNTO THEIR DIRECTORS AND SAYETH
"IT IS A VESSEL OF FERTILIZER, AND NONE MAY ABIDE ITS STRENGTH."
AND THE DIRECTORS SPOKE AMONG THEMSELVES, SAYING TO ONE ANOTHER
"IT CONTAINS THAT WHICH AIDS PLANTS AND IT IS VERY STRONG."
AND THE DIRECTORS WENT UNTO THE VICE PRESIDENTS AND SAYETH
UNTO THEM
"IT PROMOTES GROWTH AND IS VERY POWERFUL."
AND THE VICE PRESIDENTS WENT UNTO THE PRESIDENT, AND SAYETH
UNTO HIM
"THIS NEW PLAN WILL ACTIVELY PROMOTE THE GROWTH AND
EFFICIENCY OF THIS COMPANY, AND IN THESE AREAS IN PARTICULAR."
AND THE PRESIDENT LOOKED UPON THE PLAN
AND SAID THAT IT WAS GOOD
AND THE PLAN BECAME POLICY
THUS, HOW SH*T HAPPENS.

[Sally]

The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large Yellowfin tuna.

The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.

The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, señor."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat, with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But señor, how long will this all take?"
To which the American replied, "15-20 years."
"But what then, señor?"
The American laughed and said, "That's the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."
"Millions, señor? Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

[Sally]

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the heart, " because I pump the blood to all you other organs."

"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "Because I process food and give all of your energy."

"I should be in charge!" demanded the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the heart started to falter and stress, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in and all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral Of The Story: You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge... just an…… a**hole!!

[SilverLady(SO)]

::moan:: ::groan:: ::chuckle:: ::LAUGHTER::

Kyra, Sally - - you've gone and done it again!!


Thank you for starting my day off with a laugh!



- SL