BANGING two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching.
CINEMA goers. Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by having a piss before the film starts.
CAR thieves Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.
MOTORISTS Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.
DRIVERS. If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.
Love,
Curly
