The Australian Citizenship Test

[Cathii]

Recently in Australia we had a debate about our immigration and citizenship laws. It was decided to have a test to maintain the cultural integrity of Australia. The test below now forms part of the process for those wishing to apply for citizenship. Feel free to fill it out and I will be happy to tell you if you have what it takes to be an Aussie citizen.......

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Want to become an Australian citizen? Simply fill out the form below and mail it, along with a couple of cartons of long-necks, to:

Department of Immigration
The Black Stump
Canberra
Australia

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1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain
the origin of, the term died in the arse ?
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2. What is a 'bloody little beauty'?
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3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?

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4. Explain the following passages:

In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some
bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened
the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we
drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a
barney and a bit of biffo.
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5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If
they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey
and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume
between flashing a brown eye and having a slash? Show all formulas.
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6. Complete the following sentences:
a) If the van's rockin' don't bother________________?
b) You're going home in the back of a_________________ ?
c) Fair crack of the___________________?
d) Fair suck of the ___________________?


7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
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8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
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9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard
up on blocks ? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called
Cheryl?
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10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage,
curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow
mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
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11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
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12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
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13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and
sounds like a bloke?
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14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop
and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been
flogged from a bath full of ice?
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15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other
people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
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16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter b is
required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
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17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs,
an Esky or Ugg boots?
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18. Is it possible to prang a car while doing circle work ?
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19. Who would you like to crack on to?
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20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin Bloody Wilson, John True Blue
Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
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21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer
or have a pool?
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22. What does 'sinkin piss at a mates joint and getten para' mean?
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