Told Male Friend # 3

How are you dealing with or handling this aspect of your life?

Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn

Beauty
Retired Site Administrator
Posts: 3662
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
Location: Northern VA
Contact:

Told Male Friend # 3

Post by Beauty »

Hi there, :)

Well, I told another guy friend of almost 10 years about my being TG'd yesterday. He's hetero, so I was a bit afraid, but it turns out he was the easiest to tell so far. :) He totally took it in stride. No fears, no questioning who I was, no boundaries around our friendship.

He just told me that he was glad I trusted him enough not to judge him and allow him to show that he accepts me unconditionally as a friend. :)

It was very cool. :) He asked if my wife knew and approved and was very proud of me when I told him yes that I had told her and he was impressed with her, that she was accepting. As Focker's father would say, "My inner circle" is complete. :) (today)

I did give him access to my site, but I haven't called him to see what he thought. He's never seen me dressed before. 8-[

Thanks for reading this and thanks for your support and guidance for helping me to be strong enough to share this with another close friend! :)

Beauty
User avatar
DonnaT
Miss Great Goddess
Posts: 8222
Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2004 11:04 am
Location: No. Virginia

Post by DonnaT »

=D> =D> Very cool. Congratulations, especially on having such good friends. =D> =D>
DonnaT
Loretta Ann
Permanently Banned
Posts: 2199
Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Post by Loretta Ann »

Hey Beauty,

I agree… Another testimony confirming that it wise to choose who one loves. Seems you chose wisely.

Love Darlene.
User avatar
Jan W
Miss Emerald Goddess
Posts: 184
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:51 am
Location: Victoria, Australia

Post by Jan W »

Good for you Beauty!

He must be a great guy - you choose your friends well.
User avatar
Lorna
Miss Diamond Goddess
Posts: 2739
Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:41 pm
Location: NY

Post by Lorna »

Rock on, Beauty!! *-*

It's now when you'll realize who your true friends are. True friends will accept you unconditionally for YOU, while the false ones run for the hills.

Congrats are in order for your courage in reavealing yourself to an old friend!! =D> (--)
Last edited by Lorna on Tue Jun 21, 2005 4:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Live it. Love it. OWN IT.
User avatar
Virginia
Goddess of the Universe
Posts: 5543
Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
Location: Strange Magic Hill

Post by Virginia »

Congratulations, Honey!
Someone once told me we must define in our own minds, the term friend!
We have lots of acquaintences as we go through life, but friends? One of our sisters here came as close as I have seen to defining a friend? "An "acquaintence" will come to jail and bail you out, however a friend will be sitting in the cell with you saying - 'damn that was fun!"
Yes, most of us, if we think about it, can count our "true" friends on one hand and God has truly blessed you if you have one or two during your life. Someone who will drop everything and rush to your side regardless of the reason, if you need help! You have to ask yourself, who would I be willing to do that for??? If you can name one then count yourself as a true friend!
Love,
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
User avatar
Jennifer
Miss Sapphire Goddess
Posts: 84
Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 8:52 am
Location: British Columbia, Canada

Post by Jennifer »

Congratulations Beauty, that took some nerve. When I came out to my wife's sister she asked if I intended to tell her husband saying she thought he'd be okay with it. He's a bit of a redneck and so far I haven't had the nerve. When we visit I always get the best hugs from her and I'm pretty sure my secret is still safe.
Beauty
Retired Site Administrator
Posts: 3662
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
Location: Northern VA
Contact:

Post by Beauty »

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the congrats! :) It felt so good to do it. I didn't have any reservations at all. I felt I had to and I felt it was time.

Hearing all of you congratulate me and tell me my choice of friends must me pretty good made me think, "I didn't even think about that." :)

Thank you all so much!!! You're the most wonderful people I know and I'm so happy to be around you!!! :)
((G))
Beauty
User avatar
Anita
Miss Diamond Goddess
Posts: 3068
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 2:55 pm
Location: Burlingame, CA (San Francisco Bay area)

Post by Anita »

Hi Beauty--
I just got in tonight, and saw the post. Good for you! Keep the ball rolling. It's great that your wife is OK with increasing the circle of those who know about this side of you. She has to have trust in your friends, too.

Is there someone who is next on the list, or are you done for a while?
A
User avatar
CJ
Miss Diamond Goddess
Posts: 3562
Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2003 11:12 pm
Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada

Post by CJ »

Hi all,

Beauty,

You...

The situation...

Your friends...

Your wife...

...A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!! =D> =D> =D> =D>

Love,
CJ
Image
Beauty
Retired Site Administrator
Posts: 3662
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
Location: Northern VA
Contact:

Post by Beauty »

Hi Anita,

Yes, my wife knows all of them and was ok with me telling them. Years ago when I went through therapy I really lightened my load of friends. I only kept corresponding with friends I knew who were real friends. There really aren't any other people I stay in contact with that are male. Those were the 3 who are closest too me (friends). After that it gal central. :) All of them know about me. :)

So as of now all of my real friends actually know I'm transgendered. The only people who I'll tell going forward are friends who I meet and trust them enough to have them tell who I am. :)

LOL.. I just realized that I'm out to all of my friends. :) Very cool! :)

Thanks Anita!
(--)
Beauty
Beauty
Retired Site Administrator
Posts: 3662
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
Location: Northern VA
Contact:

Post by Beauty »

CJ wrote:Hi all,

Beauty,

You...

The situation...

Your friends...

Your wife...

...A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!! =D> =D> =D> =D>

Love,
CJ
Hi CJ,

Thank you!!!! :) :) :) You're awesome too!! Donna's right you were an inspiration. Living your life did help me ask myself, "What do I have to lose?"

Thank you so much CJ!!!!! :)
(--)
Beauty
Loretta Ann
Permanently Banned
Posts: 2199
Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Post by Loretta Ann »

Hi, Beauty,

Having shared that you have now come out to all your male friends has raised a question in my mind.

Is their any difference in choosing friends that will be okay with you coming out to them, as opposed to choosing friends who are not interested in whether or not one is a cross-dresser or whatever?

The reason I ask is because:

Personally I like to function with the understanding: That if you have a secret that you don’t want others to know, then don’t tell me about it. Not because I don’t care about that person, but in the event that at some point in time I might let something slip (unintentionally) that could hurt my friend. And I don’t want to have to carry that burden.

I have also seen people set up like that. Where someone has told them something that is supposed to be a secret. Later accusing them of letting the secret out. #-o

I am just wondering (not wanting to sound critical) I have friends that are based on what I am able and willing to provide for the community. Who have told me that we have the right to be who we are.

Darlene.
Beauty
Retired Site Administrator
Posts: 3662
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
Location: Northern VA
Contact:

Post by Beauty »

Hi Darlene,

It did sound critical, but you're my friend and I'm honored that you feel free enough to ask me. :) It was a fair question and I'll be happy to answer. :)

I should have probably worded my post better. I haven't only select friends who would be ok with me CD'ing. :) I had these male friends before I was even sure I was transgendered.

I chose these friends and let them into my life because over time they loved and respected me as I did them. Goodness knows I've had major spats with all of them, but through it all our friendships were strong enough to weather bad times. :) Our good times really outweighed the bad times. Each of them have told me things that they wanted to not let another person know (secrets) and because I'm TG'd I've really appreciated what that means and their secrets are safe with me. I feel keeping secrets is a badge of honor to be the holder of them.
@@9@@ @@9@@
I told them about me being transgendered, but I haven't ever asked them to keep it a secret. That wouldn't be too cool, plus I couldn't control if they did any way. Ya' know what I mean? :? They know I am not out to the world, but if they tell someone then it was meant to be.

I have totally told people things before where I'm like, "Don't tell anyone.", but even when I do that I know that once out, it's out. I honestly expect them to confide in someone. I think it's normal and only fair.

I hope that clears things up a bit. :) :) :) :)
(--)
I just re-read all of the support I got again and it just feels so good to have support from so many here. :) :) :) I LOVE IT!!

Thank you all!!!!
((G))
Beauty
Loretta Ann
Permanently Banned
Posts: 2199
Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Post by Loretta Ann »

Thank you for explaining that Beauty.

That sounds quite healthy to me. :)

Love Darlene.
Post Reply