Sexual intimacy and crossdressing

[CJ]

Hi all,

Penni's neighbouring thread on sexual intimacy and CD'ing has generated quite a few posts. Amélie was wondering how many of us are experiencing (or still experiencing) difficulties regarding sexual intimacy that we may associate with our CD'ing. Now, I'm very well aware that not all such difficulties are related to CD'ing but I thought the subject might make an interesting poll, given the possibility of anonymity. On the other hand, those with few qualms about revealing aspects of their private life may, by all means, feel free to comment (ideally, in Penni's thread). Just, you know, keep it PG-rated if you do.

Remember, this isn't about your solitary sexual activities, but about your sexual intimacy with your partner as it relates to crossdressing. And: it's not about partner-bashing either... often, our libido and desire (or lack thereof) for sexual intimacy has as much--if not more--to do with our own hang-ups as it does with the attitudes of our SO's.

Love,
CJ

[Curly(SO)]

I've answered on Honor's behalf I'm happy with CDing in the bedroom...it all adds to the fun

[Amelie-Laveau]

Lol,,CJ,, I’m so sorry,, but in Penni's thread I didn’t really ask the forum a question. It’s just my inability to use a computer properly that made it look like I asked a question. I was just quoting what Penni said in her original post and quoted a piece from it,,, four years I’ve had a pooter and I still can’t work it yet,,lol

Now to give my answer.

Yes, I have no probs with intimacy with who ever I have been with. But,, and there is always a but, I really don’t care for sex anymore. It’s like a necessary evil type of thing, it’s something that gots to be done,, like doing the laundry or cooking. Maybe it’s a kind of a burn out from it,, maybe there was too much sex when I was younger, now I am tired of it. Don’t get me wrong,, I do like cuddly things, holding hands, snuggling up while watching tv,, but the guys that I’ve known, don’t care for this stuff, it’s usually wham bamm thank you mamm, see ya tomorrow. Maybe I feel that I’ve been used by quite a few guys that I don’t feel that I trust anyone to be close to me.

So there you have it,, I contradict myself in one paragraph, lol Maybe a better response would be that yes,, the way I dress has never giving me problems with whoever my partner was, they all met me as a girl, they all knew what to expect. But I do have intimacy problems that are unrelated to the way I dress. Too many nasty guys in my life has made it nearly impossible for me to get close to anyone, I want so desperately to be loved, yet I also don’t want anyone touching me, I feel repulsed and dirty by someone touching me,, but I gotta do it,, just like I gotta cook, to survive.

So, I didn't vote,,, while my sex life has not been lacking, I just wouldn't use the word "Great", to describe it.

[Virginia]

As I have posted before - you would not believe me if I told you -- so we will just hold hands and SL and I will continue to share our beautiful, sexy, loving "Magical Mystery Tour!"

Virginia

[Merinda]

Sexual intimacy? Whazzat?

No need for further comment , your tick-a-box description is straight to the point.

[Carol Ann]

For me it depends on what time in my life we are talking about. When we first were married (young) it was off the charts .

So now I'm 69 and have to say "Whazzat"?.

[Nadia-Maria]

I could not vote, no line does apply enough good.

Our sexual intimacy is very good, and needn't include any CD aspects.
At the moment, CD would not add anything, and might probably chill both of us. CDing is more of a personal thing for me. And SO doesn't want to see me dressed.

Kisses

Nadia

[Lori]

Carol Ann

As the saying goes.............I use to do it all night, now it takes all night to do it.......

Lori

[DonnaT]

Looks like I'm in the topp 53%

[KimberlyS]

I did not vote as we are the same as Nadia-Maria and could not vote as nothing fits.

My wife does not want me CDing when we are intimate and I am more than ok with that. But I do have some androgenyous PJ's some of which my wife got for me. Besides how does one CD when naked.

kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

[TerriLynn]

Had to check 'Whazzat'. There is NO sexual intimacy involving Terri.

Terrilynn

[CJ]

Wow! Quite a variety of responses. Thanks for the input, all of you.

I guess the question Penni was asking is slightly different from mine. If I understand her rightly, Penni was wondering if the fact that we crossdressed hindered or otherwise interfered with our "partnered" sex life or if, on the contrary, it had no effect on it (or even maybe "boosted" it). I guess what I'm asking is whether or not crossdressing is even a part of our "partnered" sex life.

And Kimberly, you were wondering how one crossdresses while naked. Well, one doesn't. But making love while naked is but one option. There is such a thing as...





Again, thanks y'all for your contributions.

Love,
CJ

[Amelie-Laveau]

I guess what I'm asking is whether or not crossdressing is even a part of our "partnered" sex life.



Yes it most certainly is. If I didn't dress the part, then all I would get are boring gay guys. lol

I am unable to be intimate without first starting off looking like a girl. I need the whole seduction thing that comes before having sex. i find this to actually be more fun than the sex. I love the little game that is played between me and a guy, you know, the romance part, the seductive talk, the hard to get thing,all that sort of stuff. And to do this, I need to basiclly play my part, and that part is being a girl. I know I am stereotyping what girls are, but this is just what I have been thought of what girls were supposed to do. And to play this part, I need to dress the part, or otherwise, like I said up above,, if I didn't dress the part, then I'd just be another boring gay guy. lol

Also, I can make more money if I am dressed like a girl. lol

[Absaroka]

Since the crossdressing is pretty much solitary it doesn't have much impact on our sex life except in that keeping a part of yourself to yourself can impact intimacy generally.

In terms of intimacy there are two aspects of this for me. One is that there is emotional intimacy. The combination of my secretiveness about myself generally and my wifes need for an above average amount of space sometimes lead us to cross a line somewhere between a nice amount of independence and an uncomfortable amount of distance. It's been a theme for us for 25 years now. Another is the whole question of sexual intimacy. Some have said that children are a great means of birth control and there is truth to this and also as we get older that has had an impact. It used to be that I wished we had sex more often, but in the last year my sex drive has gone the way of my wifes and now we sort of reminisce fondly of the passions of youth. Don't know if this is good or bad......

Absaroka

[Violet]

(sighs) Sex. Intimacy. I almost remember what that was like.

My last boyfriend loved it when I crossed for him (my last girlfriend too for that matter. ) I doubt very much I would be 'intimate' with somebody who didn't know Violet and accept her as a part of my reality, even if they didn't necessarily want to see her in bed. But then, most of my sexual experiences (since I started outing as Violet anyway) have been with people who met me crossed and liked what they saw.