Things have changed

JoAnnDallas · Post by **JoAnnDallas** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:16 am

As many of you know, I told my wife I was a CDer last year. We set some groundrules such as she did not want to see me fully dressed. Then for some unknown reason last Christmas she bought me a Pink robe, Pink Satin PJ's and Pink fuzzy slippers. I have worn the Pink robe and slippers but not the PJ's as it has been too cold for Satin PJ's.
Wife works once in a while at the local library and was scehduled to work the book sale one Saturday afternoon. Since she would be gone for about three hours, I deciede to get fully dressed and go shopping at the local ROSS store. As I walked into the garage, I came face to face with the wife. It turned out she got her time mixed and was slated to work the 3-6PM slot instead of 12-3PM slot. So I did not goto ROSS, she was mad at me, so we sat down at the kitchen table and talked for about an hour with me fully dressed. She did at one point comment that at least I was not dressed in a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, and 5" spike heels. I told her that that style was not me and the way I was dressed brought less attention and allowed me to blend it. She agreed that I did look better than she had thought I would. She agreed to modifing our ground rules. I still got one Saturday afternoon to do what I want ( she goes to water arobics that afternoon) and now I could have the times when she would work at the library too.
Since then it has turned warmer and the past weekend, I started wearing my Satin Pink PJ's to bed. Saturday evening it was raining, so I decieded to get ready for bed early. So here I am with panties on, Pink Satin PJ's, Pink rob, and Pink slippers on wondering around the house, in front of my wife. Later I was on my computer and she was on hers, I mention that I was fully dress. She was quite for a few moments, then said, " I know, but at least you don't have your wig and makeup on". I then said, "Then would it be OK if I wore mabey a t-shirt and either pants or capries sometimes in the evening". She responed, "that might be OK".
So I have been thinking that mabey the main reason she did not want to see me fully dress was she was afraid of how I would look to her. She is now compy with me wearing fem bed clothing and now she may allow me to wear some other fem clothing around the house is a breakthru. I am sure that she would not have let me even wear fem bed clothing last year. I still don't understand why she bought me the robe, PJ's, and slippers in the first place, but I am a happy camper that she now OK with me wearing and walking around the house with them on and soon I may get to opening dress even more fem.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:23 pm

Hi JoAnn,

Sounds like "baby steps" to me! You will have to refresh my memory, did you wife know before the face to face in the garage, that you actually went out dressed?

I think we all know that whether or not a GG accepts us, I doubt any of them understand us, at least no more than we do - rears the question WHY? We don't know, well at least not from a definitively scientific perspective - we do know that it is just who we are! We also know that if you place us on the Crossdresser's Continuum we will all probably end up at a different place and that is cool too! Your wife fell in with the group that thinks one way then when presented with the physical evidence is usually surprised in that she thinks/says "damn, I did not know you would look THAT good!" surprise! surprise! Ain't it great!

The baby steps you and your wife are taking is a good thing, but BUT remember, for her it will probably always be a roller coaster ride, so not wishing to shatter the euphoria just be prepared for the potential down side to her acceptance. Speaking from a "been there done that" perspective sometimes the down-side can become an avalanche, just be prepared for the good and the bad.

Please keep us posted as this new girl in your wife's life makes inroads.

Love ya,

Virginia

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 6:54 am

JoAnn,

I agree with Virginia as it took my wife nearly 2 years before she became comfortable and I believe that was because we moved and retired and the kids are all gone.
Yes her and I went to Tri-Ess together but at home it was a nono because of the kids.
Now I am free to fully dress everyday but she makes sure I am a proper lady, sometimes I believe she treats me like a teenage daughter.

Time is your answer, give her time.

JoAnnDallas · Post by **JoAnnDallas** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:10 am

Virginia.....Yes I had told her one evening last year that I liked to crossdress and had been doing it sense I was real young. We talked for a long while back then and came up with some ground rules. One was she did not want to see me fully dressed and the second was I could have one Saturday afternoon to myself. She has MS water arobics that afternoon.
It does feel great to be able to at least change into my Satin PJ's, robe, and slipper in the evening and just lounge around until bedtime. I thnk she had in her head what I would look like and when she accidently saw me, it was a shock because I looked different that she thought. Her compliment made me feel really good. The next day as we were coming home from Wlamart, she saw a garage sale sign, so we stopped to look. The lady selling had some heels for sale. Wife looked at them then whispred to me what size I wore. I said "size 9". She looked at the heels and whispered "they are size 9". I looked at them closer and whispered to her "I don't like her style". She whispered back "Yes, they are a little tacky". LOL So all in all, I think she is a liitle more compy. She did agree to take her cell phone with her when she works at the library. That way if she leaves early or decides to stay longer she can warn me.
So I will be content with what I can do now. At least she is more accepting now and that really helps relieve a lot of my fear.

Carol Ann........Our son is grown, married, and has a child, so don't have to worry about that part. They live in Houston and we live in Dallas, so it's not like they are coming over all the time.

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:19 am

Hi JoAnn--

So I will be content with what I can do now. At least she is more accepting now and that really helps relieve a lot of my fear.

Relieving fear is a big deal, in what ever way you do it. Not having to hold on to that, you'll have more energy for other things, including dressing, of course.

I sometimes think about what my family's reactions must have been, behind the scenes. They were OK with it, because none of them have to live with it, for one thing. But their private reactions were probably quite different, and they might have gone through a lot of turmoil to be able to accept it. I'll probably never know. But a spouse doesn't have the luxury of being able to hide a lot of the struggle.

Post by **DonnaT** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:48 am

What'd I tell you?

Cool!

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:52 pm

I might mention that when SL and I go shopping, she may be a row or two away from me and find something and she will hold it up for my inspection and yell over to me, "do you think Virginia would like this?" and no one is the wiser. Well, it works for us anyway. No whispering necessary.

Shop on, ladies !

Virginia

Roberta-Llyan · Post by **Roberta-Llyan** » Sat May 03, 2008 1:30 pm

JoAnnDallas wrote: So I will be content with what I can do now. At least she is more accepting now and that really helps relieve a lot of my fear..

Hi JoAnn:

Good to find you here.

I'm happy for you to hear this. It's another step toward total coming out and that is ALWAYS WONDERFUL. Her buying you the pink outfits was another great step. It is one of acceptance and that is the battle won.

My only advise: Continue as you are and love her for her acceptance. Love always triumphs.

Have a beautiful day sweetie.