Ahhhh, Romance?

[Carolynn]

Some of these might make nice, infuriating greeting cards for ex's.

The following are entries to a contest by The Washington Post, in which
respondents had to write a two-line romantic poem...except that the last
line had to be as un-romantic as the first line was romantic.

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife;
Marrying you really screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
That is, until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you ~
But
the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What did you step in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you, no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to Hell."

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

[Curly(SO)]

[DonnaT]

Your eyes are like a deep liquid pool,
I dated you because I was a fool.

I love walking in the rain holding hands,
But your's feel like a mans.