KathrynCleve's Full Story

[KathrynCleve]

I was an 11-year old boy the day I realized I wanted to be an 11-year old girl. Actually, as I later discovered, I wanted to be a woman. Mind you, I'm not pretending I was a girl trapped in a boy's body. That's a serious issue that needs to be addressed with care and compassion.
In fact, I felt like a boy trapped in a boy's body and I wanted out. I simply wanted to be female because women seemed happy, pretty, nice and they got to wear the most beautiful clothes. (Probably influencing me was the fact that I was raised by two divorced women; my mother and her sister.)
I remember distinctly how it happened. I was playing in our apartment while mom and my aunt were at work.
I had been dancing around the living room to the music from the just-released My Fair Lady Broadway show album and I was in love with the idea of being transformed into a lady just like Julie Andrews was in the show.
(In my youthful enthusiasm, I ignored the fact that she was already a woman before she became a lady.)
Rooting around in drawers and closets, I gathered together my mother's bra, a skirt, a frilly blouse and even a pair of her high heels. I dressed up in her clothes and this sudden euphoria came over me. It was the happiest I had ever felt as a youth. I looked in the mirror, loved what I saw and cried tears of happiness. I looked almost like a woman. For the next few months, I sneaked around and wore my mother's clothes whenever I could. I went to the library and read books about female impersonators like Julian Eltinge and Jim Bailey. I also poured through my aunt's magazines which had lots of pictures of women in pretty dresses in them.

more here: http://kdcleve.blogspot.com/2007/01/why.html

[DonnaT]

this sudden euphoria came over me

Yea, I wonder what that is?

[Lydia]

Hi Kathryn,

Great story. Read your blog.

I too love women - so much so, I have said often, that I want to emulate them. As a word wonk, I especially like your word "femulate." It should become part of our vocabulary.

Welcome to this group, by the way. You will find all shades of "femulators" here (love that word).

Hugs,

Lydia

[Absaroka]

Femulators- what a great word.


I related to the idea of being a boy trapped in a boys body. That's how I sometimes felt also.

Absaroka

[Tomara]

Hi Kathryn I also read your story, and thought it was great that you were finally able to live your life as the person you wanted to be. I am also happy you finally found the right person to share your life with. I to hope to find that special, understanding and accepting person to share my life with. It has been a pleasure to meet you here and visit your site . Thankyou! Tomara

[Roberta-Llyan]

Greetings Kathryn:

I took a look at your post and also your blog as well as left you a short comment.

But I wanted to quote something you said here and make reference to that where you stated: "So, beginning November 1, 2000, I lived as a real, ordinary middle-aged woman in Burbank, California. All the time. 24 hours a day. Every day."

I AM so happy to read that about you. It is my sincere prayer/mind-set that the day will soon come when ALL of us can do that 24/7. I am doing it right now but I know also the vast majority of people are still in hiding. And what a pity for all of us. For if one of us still remains in hiding it hurts all of us. (Not that they should feel guilty about it) But some people just can't come out right now and I know from life's experiences the only way we will change things for the better is to do it openly. And as Gandhi once said: "Yes, many will be hurt but we will win in the end." (paraphrased)

Thus, I SALUTE you as another wonderful example of what life can be when we come out and be who and what we truly are--people just like other people with different tastes and choices and selections in our life. And that is all anyone else is if you examine them. For all want to be loved and to love and have the things needed to live.

And it is through those like you who continue to set the example.

Thank you for being here and may your life inspire all of us to a greater degree of happiness and joy. Have a beautiful day.

[KathrynCleve]

You have made me feel welcome.
It took me a long time to finally face the truth about myself, which is why I am trying to help others emotionally. Joy and I are moving back to Los Angeles in two weeks, and I plan to keep up my blog.
Thanks so much for your support.

Kathryn http://kdcleve.blogspot.com/

[Anita]

Hi Katryn--
I've tried accessing your blog several times, and it appears that my computer just won't handle it. It appears that you have a good life partner on your side, and some fulltime experience to use. Welcome to the forum.