The Ins-and-Outs of Therapy/Counseling for all of us...

[Laura]

Hi all,

I'm a firm believer in therapy, especially for crossdressers and their SOs. I've been thinking a little bit about this, and here are some good reasons I see, based in large part on my own experience:

for the crossdresser:

1) In the early stages therapy helps in self-acceptance in the face of ingrained shame and deep fears.

2) Later on, therapy helps achieve balance in one's life between female and male sides and between both and one's SO. Balance is also necessary among life goals: happiness, achievement/satisfaction, love/relationships.

for the SO (and here my experience is less direct!):

1) Therapy may allow her to deal better with whatever distressing feelings she has about her husband crossdressing by helping her to reclaim projections (it is common for each partner in a marriage to project the characteristics of the opposite gender onto one's spouse; reclaming them can help us become whole and avoid "co-dependency") and distinguish between isssues which are genuinely those of the marriage from her own issues.

2) Therapy can also help keep an SO from losing herself in the course of nurturing her husband's needs. It seems (from my reading) that some SOs have a tendency to lose sight of their boundaries and their own needs in their acceptance of crossdressing. Instead of a relationship filled with ups and downs, successful therapy can help the SO be aware of her legitimate needs right from the beginning, thereby making possible an easier resolution to the complex process of negotiation and setting boundaries.

I hope that adds something.

Love,

Laura

[Beauty]

I think the only negative thing about therapy is $$$.

Beauty

[Jessie]

OH YEA THAT IS A BIG THING WITH ME. But I have issues with money also. I have some but am so scared to spend any of it sometimes. That is an issue I once brought up with my other theropist and he did not really give me any feed back about that. But that was then.

Jessie

[Jessie]

My mom called me today (I stayed there house to as my mom said "to watch the house while she and my step-dad go out for the evening") but I think it was more to make sure my youngest brother does not throw a party or have to many friends over and get roudy. ANY way back on subject. she wanted me to call this teropist and make sure that he does not forget about me and get that appointment down. NOw it sounding a little pushy into going to theropy from my mom instead of wanting to go. I still do but well she's my mom and I love her so I bit my tounge and said "uh-hu"

I mean I just contacted the felow last thursday.

Jessie