a manly question?

[Annika]

I'm new to this wonderful sight and really appreciate all the great posts. I've been dressing all of my life,in the closet of course,but my issues with dressing have to do with my very masculine physique.I'm the size of an NFL football player who probably looks very strange in femm attire. I'm so envious of all the normal sized ladies who can go out into the world looking so good. It would be a dream come true to be able to go out and be a lady. I'm just curious to see if anyone else has this problem? I truely would love to be able to show my femminen side to all. Thank you for any replies. Annika

[Connie]

Hi Annika,

While I wouldn't classify myself as the size of an NFL Player (some of those guys are huge!) I am quite a bit larger than the "average" male, and of course, even larger compared to the not so average woman!

I have, in the past gone out in public and seen by many people, shopping or just stolling along the street. I've never noticed much reaction from those around me.

There are places on the web where you can find suggestions on how to downplay your male attributes using various styles of clothing. Sorry I don't have any urls handy to give you.

I also try to flummox people with enough female-like cues that, hopefully, they just believe I am a large (ok, very large) woman. These include longer hair, makeup, pierced ears with earrings, painted nails, and appropriate clothes. I depend alot on the kindness of strangers to not laugh out loud!

I also take comfort in the fact that I know a few GGs who are nearly as tall or maybe as tall as I am. And some that are as wide or wider than I!

I am about 6' 1" (bare-feet) about 270#, with a 48-inch chest and about a 46-inch waist.

Take a browse through the Photo Gallery. I am in there and a few others of us here who are not "small".

Connie

P.S. Welcome to the forum!

[DonnaT]

Hi Annika, to the forum.

I'm only 5'9" and 280lbs, 50" chest, "48" waist.

If you're the size of an NFL player, that's what, 6"4" or greater?

Regardless, what you need to do is accept who you are and how you look.

I know good and well I don't pass in public. So what? I have a need that I either satisfy for my own sake, or let what others think hold me back. Well, I decided a long time ago not to let what others think hold me back.

Note that there are some guys who don't need to dress completely enfemme to meet that need. Some can do it by underdressing, some simply by wearing a skirt when and whereever they want.

Sure they look like men, but that doesn't matter, what matters is they do what they need to do to cope with being trans.

[ChristineK]

I am 5,11 and 215 pounds, I to do not pull it off to well. I to would love to walk out the door and proclaim my comfort to my real self.

My wife has accepted me and that has been a huge lode off my back. We shop together now and she seems to understand.

I have yet to go outside as a woman but I am taking baby steps here. I just came out in May to my wife of 15 years.

For my birthday my wife bought me a teddy and silk PJ's.

Time will tell

[Sunshine Girl(SO)]

Hiya Annika...

I kinda feel Donna might be on to it, here. So what you don't pass. Is that really the point? You kinda have this softer side that you feel the need to express. Just do it.

If I feel like going about in jeans and a T, I don't stuff a pair of socks in my pants and paint a mustache on my face. I just wear jeans and a T and still be a female.

I guess some feel the need to pass, but my feelings are wear whatever you're comfortable with. Don't try to be something you're not, be yourself. But if you want to go out in denim mini, I do suggest you make sure nothing is dangling.

Sunny

[Annika]

Thank you for the replies. When I say NFL football player, I stand 6'6"(bare feet)and weigh 320. I guess I'm just a little nervous about going out. I've tried to find places where I could go and meet,but have'nt been able to locate. I guess I just have to throw caution to the wind and do it. I really appreciate the advice. Thank you. Annika

[Rikki]

Sunshine,
Glad it was you who said that!!!

As for passing, doubt I would, but happy being "me" at home and enjoying both sides of life!

Have a happy everyone!
rr

[Steve]

Being 6" 5" and 292 (hey down from 319). I tried the full dress thing and makeup and Wig. It was not me. I like to wear Women's Clothes and I figure what the heck I will get over it if they think I dress different.

So I wear Panties and some Clothes (Jeans, Shirts etc).

Live Life and Enjoy it. It's too short not to.

Steve

[KimberlyS]

Annika you got some great responses already. Re-read the post from Sunshine. While a decent feminine look is part of going out enfemme for us CD/TGs, IMHO a large part of it is just a mental game within yourself. Call it self acceptance and accepting that it is ok to go out enfemme and it really does not matter what other people think.

IMHO the acceptance and tolerance of others starts with you.
You think it is ok to do what you want to do. Get out enfemme.
You have the attitude and physical presentation it is ok to be out enfemme.
Others will accept you being out enfemme. Where it is actual acceptance or tolerance IMHO it really does not matter.


kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

[Tania María López]

For years, I thought I could not pass. But the problem was gone the day I realized that I did not pass as a beautiful young girl but I could pass as a 50 years old lady. A very nice looking 50 years old lady! Size is a problem but, can you pass as a very tall lady? There are very tall GGs.

[Georgia(SO)]

I can't pass as a beautiful young girl anymore either... <sigh>



-georgia (so)...

[Amelie-Laveau]

You say that you're 6'6' and 320 pounds,, well,, I would say that you can go out dressed anywhere you want,, whose gonna mess with you?


I guess the main question that you should ask yourself is where do you want to go out? I’m not asking you to give private details on this forum, but it all depends where you want to go out dressed that makes the difference. The more difficult the place, like a Nascar Race meet, would take more of a mental challenge to give ya the nerve to be able to do it. But if you live near an accepting type of hangout, like a night club or bar, or if you are able to go to some sort of cd support group outing, then this might be the best place to go until you build up more confidence,, then after a bit, you can go to the Nascar race.

The where you live part,,,, if you live in an area like NYC or San Francisco, then you can just about go anywhere.

I am kinda lucky in size, I'm 5'5 a bit over weight but i also live and have lived in areas that don't really care how I dress.

[DonnaT]

Let's not forget former WWE superstar Vito

http://www.wwe.com/inside/news/archive/vitodress

“I’m 100 percent man. I look like a guy; I work out like a guy. The only thing is I like to wear dresses—that’s it.”

http://www.wwe.com/content/media/video/ ... 6/0721vito

[Stephanie W]

Hi Annika

Good to see all the great advice you've received, so think about that and go from there. I can only imagine how hard that must feel for you, but even though most of us would love to look like beautiful young girls, for probably 75+% more of the world's population, that's simply not attainable. (Notwithstanding all our beautiful GG's on here). The important thing is accepting what God gave us. Don't dwell on the things we can't change but focus on the ones we can. While our exterior may not always lend itself to our desired femme appearance, it's how we feel inside when we're wearing those pretty clothes that counts the most. I truly believe that.

If we're honest with ourselves, we all share that inherent desire to 'pass' on some level, so you're not alone there. Passing is really a form of validation, because for me at least, a lack of reaction from the public is a validation that I ''fit in' and am accepted. It doesn't matter whether they have read me and simply ignored me. Often it's difficult to really know either way, save from the obvious. Regardless though, the feeling of being true to yourself is most important and is what will promote your personal growth. Yes, passing may be the icing on the cake, but cake can still taste good without it.

As Sunshine said, be true to yourself and you'll never be too far away from happy. If you can find a good support group in your area, get involved. You'll find that being around real people is an amazing experience and I'm sure you'll find they will see ad accept Annika as that beautiful person she is. You'll find it will also go a long way to helping you gain more confidence in yourself and prepare you for the next phase of your journey, or as our esteemed Virginia would say, your magical mystery tour. Good luck on yours.

Stephanie

[Sunshine Girl(SO)]

I can't pass as a beautiful young girl anymore either... <sigh>



-georgia (so)...

Hey Girl... I love it.... How true...

Sunny