couldn't deny the feelings deep inside me

[Danielle_Wayne]

I believe I was around 8. I was in a parade where I had to dress up like the Jolly green giant. My mother dyed girls tights green for me to wear. I loved the feeling so much of those tights, that I guess that started it all for me. Been fighting this feeling ever since, to no avail.

[Angela Russell]

Well Danielle, you probably realise by now that it's pointless trying to fight it, because you'll never beat it. Better to "go with the flow" & enjoy it.

[Virginia]

Angela is right! It just never seems to go away. We fight it, repress it, supress it, ignore it but in most cases, to no avail! The trick is learning to accept it as a gift and then letting it become a part of your existence. It can be a beautiful asset!

Virginia

[Lydia]

Hi Danielle,

As my sisters said - don't fight it. Many great minds have tried to explain it. Don't even try - just enjoy it. Revel in it.

Hugs,

Lydia

[Carol Ann]

It's like catching a bug or flu, no matter how hard you try to get rid of it it will not go away. I have suffered for 55 years

[SandiAnne]

Many years ago, shrinks believed they found a "cure" for crossdressing. Shortly they realized that what they thought was a cure was simply more discetion on the part of the crossdresser. Many of us have gone through it all. In my case, many purgings, promises to God (as a teen) and myself that I would never do it again. Now I enjoy it. No...make that love it. I began when I was seven. I'm in my late seventies. Do the math.

Sandianne

[Diannna]

When I joined the Navy, I thought that this is what will make all these feelings go away. WRONG! If nothing else, the four year hyatis (spelling?) only seemed to reafirm those feelings. Here it is, I'm in my senior years and still CD. Feelings seem to get stronger the older I get

[Jennifer M]

I have recently turned 47 and I am now realizing what everyone else has already said here.Fighting it seems to cause many more problems than it solves.Every now and then I will try to fight it because I am soooo stubborn but those times are getting less frequent.

[CherryLynn]

I agree with you Carol Ann- femmy feelings are like a cold that just don't go away. Like alot of gurls I fought against and tried todeny that I loved dresses and makeup.
For a time I was able to just look at lady fashion magazines and pretend that i was the girl in the picture. Have dressed off and on over the years and even went to " A night of a thousand gowns ",8 years, wore a red sequin dress with matching heels. Veronica Vera dolled up a couple us girls- and we took a limo to the party. It was thrilling to see so many sisters there.

After that I lapsed back into guilty drab mode for a time. Lately my femmy feelings have struck back so very hard . I no longer want to fight my femmy side. "Resistance is futile".
hugs to all

[Danielle_Wayne]

What you all say is so true. I have gone through all the denials. Thrown my clothes away several times, only to find that I can't stop myself from getting more. I love my femme' side and am excepting it more and more. finding this site may just be the one thing I needed to help me cope. It is still hard because I am still in the closet to my family and friends. I do not , no scratch that, I know they would not understand. Anyone got any feelings or experiences on that topic? How did you come out? or what happened when you were discovered? I worry about that all the time. Thanks for all your replies, it truly helps.
Hugs
Danielle.

[Jennifer M]

Hi Danielle,

My own experience with coming out has not been good.I have been basically rejected by everyone I have told except for one friend.I told my parents after my last suicide attempt.They ignored it and me,unless they need something from my male self.It may sound horrific and at first I thought it was.After finding this forum and the kindness here I have found the wisdom that many here share.You need to be you and you need to like yourself and who you are.After that wether someone accepts you or not wont matter,at least not a lot.Hang in there

[Sylvia H]

Jennifer,

Putting distance between ones self and relatives and friends some of us unfortunately have to do. There is no guarantee we will be born into a family that has our best interests in mind.

Maybe its part of growing up, getting rid of all those things we were told were true growing up and finding out they werent entirely as advertised.

If doing what you think is in your best interest you have to leave a few behind that cant go there, remember it is YOUR journey and you have every right to call the shots. We all have to live with ourselves before we can be of any good use elsewhere.

All the best to you

xox
Sylvia

[Danielle_Wayne]

As you can see, I just added a photo. So I guess I definately am embrassing my femme' side.

[Virginia]

Hi Danielle,

I hope that it is not to early to introduce you to what I call "Virgina's Challenge." This can be very traumatic for some who have done it while others are not ready for it and do not know exactly how to react and that is fine too!

Danielle gets dressed, as nice as she can, then stands in front for a full length mirror and looks at the woman looking back at her, but not at what she is wearing, or how pretty she looks! You have to look into her eyes, then ask yourself two questions and answer as honestly as you can!
"What is Danielle worth to me?
"What am I willing to do/sacrifice for her?"

This can open doors for some, for others it just goes right over their heads and they, as the Simon and Garfunkel song goes "they continue to continue!" No one here will judge any one's response to this. It is simply who you are or choose to be at that point in time. But for some of us doing this is sort of an epiphany and speaking for myself, I have had two such epiphanies - sure changed this girls attitude!!!

Good luck Danielle and please continue to share with us your own "Magical Mystery Tour!"

Virginia

[Danielle_Wayne]

Thank you Virginia. Your reply is so so true. I look in that mirror and have asked myself them questions on numerous occasions. I stay hidden because I don't know If I am brave enough to let Danielle out. What would happen? What would my family think and do? My friends? Oh how the questions burn inside me.

Someday Danielle might come bursting out, but not today. But she becomes stronger and braver each passing day. It scares me and excites me. I've said it before, I am so glad I have found this site. I really needed a place for me to tell my inner thoughts without fear of reprisals. Until the next time we all chat...