To potential new members...
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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Jessica North
- Miss Sapphire Goddess
- Posts: 63
- Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 9:52 am
- Location: Central Ohio
To potential new members
Wow!
This post immediately hit home with me, since I come to this forum from the CDDF. Being that today is my first day here, this particular topic seemed to be appropriate for my "getting acquainted with the forum" quest.
What really floored me was Anita's link to a topic that was on the CDDF when it wasn't such a mess. That was my original post, and while I have had many, many, many fabulous responses... I still struggle with that same issue.
Talk about coming full circle. I now have this very uncanny feeling that I am in the right place! Thank you all.
Hugs,
Jessica
This post immediately hit home with me, since I come to this forum from the CDDF. Being that today is my first day here, this particular topic seemed to be appropriate for my "getting acquainted with the forum" quest.
What really floored me was Anita's link to a topic that was on the CDDF when it wasn't such a mess. That was my original post, and while I have had many, many, many fabulous responses... I still struggle with that same issue.
Talk about coming full circle. I now have this very uncanny feeling that I am in the right place! Thank you all.
Hugs,
Jessica
I took a ride in this world, now I'm spinning for the rest of my life...
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Kimberly Kael
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 576
- Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2007 6:43 pm
- Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Welcome, Jessica. It's lovely to have you here. I hadn't read the post you refer to until just now ... and yes, it's pretty much a carbon copy of the scene my wife and I have played out. I wish I could claim to have "the answer" but I've definitely given it a lot of thought. Here are some of the themes that come up when I contemplate exactly this topic:
1. While today's society accepts women in pants that hasn't always been the case. During times when women weren't allowed to wear traditionally masculine clothing those who dared to defy the norms of the day often did so by disguising themselves as men. They did bind their breasts and so forth, because to participate in society they needed to fit one of society's preconceived notions of what was acceptable. Men could wear pants, so if you wanted to wear pants you had to pass as a man. Fast forward to today and you see the same pattern played out in reverse.
2. Feminine clothing is designed to highlight the feminine form with its delightful curves. For feminine garments to look the way they were intended to we find whatever means are necessary to fill out what nature neglected to provide. Interestingly, cross-dressers aren't the only ones prone to do this. There are no shortage of women out there who turn to padding of one variety or another - even surgery - to approach the feminine ideal and fill out their clothing.
3. Our society reinforces breast size as a measure of femininity with such great success that even intelligent women can find themselves wondering if they're being measured by their visible attributes and getting their self-worth tangled up in breast size. Is it any wonder that crossdressers who identify so closely with women feel similarly? As much as we might joke about it, the male equivalent doesn't involve stuffing socks in our trousers. Men are more often measured by physical prowess or other expressions of power (wealth, status, etc.)
I'd love to hear any thoughts you've had over the years that might further refine my attempts to describe my own somewhat baffling (but enjoyable nonetheless) behavior.
1. While today's society accepts women in pants that hasn't always been the case. During times when women weren't allowed to wear traditionally masculine clothing those who dared to defy the norms of the day often did so by disguising themselves as men. They did bind their breasts and so forth, because to participate in society they needed to fit one of society's preconceived notions of what was acceptable. Men could wear pants, so if you wanted to wear pants you had to pass as a man. Fast forward to today and you see the same pattern played out in reverse.
2. Feminine clothing is designed to highlight the feminine form with its delightful curves. For feminine garments to look the way they were intended to we find whatever means are necessary to fill out what nature neglected to provide. Interestingly, cross-dressers aren't the only ones prone to do this. There are no shortage of women out there who turn to padding of one variety or another - even surgery - to approach the feminine ideal and fill out their clothing.
3. Our society reinforces breast size as a measure of femininity with such great success that even intelligent women can find themselves wondering if they're being measured by their visible attributes and getting their self-worth tangled up in breast size. Is it any wonder that crossdressers who identify so closely with women feel similarly? As much as we might joke about it, the male equivalent doesn't involve stuffing socks in our trousers. Men are more often measured by physical prowess or other expressions of power (wealth, status, etc.)
I'd love to hear any thoughts you've had over the years that might further refine my attempts to describe my own somewhat baffling (but enjoyable nonetheless) behavior.
~ Kimberly
“To escape criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard
“To escape criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard
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Jessica North
- Miss Sapphire Goddess
- Posts: 63
- Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 9:52 am
- Location: Central Ohio
Hello Kimberly,
Great thoughts and you express them well! I have to say that I like your No. 2 explanation mostly, that actually makes a lot of sense to me. Achieving feminine form is part of the dressing to me.
Some explanations make total sense to me when I am feeling very feminine, and then they can seem sort of silly when I am not so much. It's sort of hard to understand if you are not like us.
Sometimes I feel like the stress of being my male self can be overwhelming and my female self helps me to escape. The more feminine I can make myself, the farther away from the stress I get.
I am also torn between the idea that as a transgender I am either gifted with incredible insight and intense feelings or something just went wrong with my wiring, and I just have to live with it.
Hugs,
Jessica
Great thoughts and you express them well! I have to say that I like your No. 2 explanation mostly, that actually makes a lot of sense to me. Achieving feminine form is part of the dressing to me.
Some explanations make total sense to me when I am feeling very feminine, and then they can seem sort of silly when I am not so much. It's sort of hard to understand if you are not like us.
Sometimes I feel like the stress of being my male self can be overwhelming and my female self helps me to escape. The more feminine I can make myself, the farther away from the stress I get.
I am also torn between the idea that as a transgender I am either gifted with incredible insight and intense feelings or something just went wrong with my wiring, and I just have to live with it.
Hugs,
Jessica
I took a ride in this world, now I'm spinning for the rest of my life...
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ErinKaas
- Miss Crystal Goddess
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2008 9:28 pm
I was never there but it sounds like it was a good forum.
Did it just get overrun with spam like msn's forums and chats did when they had them?
It is nice to feel like a part of something. I visit a few car forums and cannot hit it off with anyone really so I just use them for asking questions.
I feel more at home on CD/TG forums and chats.
Did it just get overrun with spam like msn's forums and chats did when they had them?
It is nice to feel like a part of something. I visit a few car forums and cannot hit it off with anyone really so I just use them for asking questions.
I feel more at home on CD/TG forums and chats.
Je n'ai que ça d'éternité à te confier. Ces quelques heures où j'aurais choisi d'arrêter les petits battements de mon cœur...
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Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
Hi Erin,
Yes the CDDF did have its problems, mainly the personal attacks, flaming and the "trolls." We have a member here who was a member of the CDDF and was also a "professional troll hunter." Damn she was good at it too. She would set them up then take their legs right out from under them. It was a pleasure to watch.
Anyway, beyond the unmonitored, flaming, personal attacks, and dealing with the trolls, that forum had one very redeeming characteristic, if nothing else it let a lot of us find out that, first, "we are not alone." That there are a lot of us with "the gift" running around out there and that in itself gave some relief to some of us who were struggling with trying to understand this "New girl" in our lives.
From the "JohnBoy and Billy" show:
"carry on straight people!!"
Love,
Virginia
Yes the CDDF did have its problems, mainly the personal attacks, flaming and the "trolls." We have a member here who was a member of the CDDF and was also a "professional troll hunter." Damn she was good at it too. She would set them up then take their legs right out from under them. It was a pleasure to watch.
Anyway, beyond the unmonitored, flaming, personal attacks, and dealing with the trolls, that forum had one very redeeming characteristic, if nothing else it let a lot of us find out that, first, "we are not alone." That there are a lot of us with "the gift" running around out there and that in itself gave some relief to some of us who were struggling with trying to understand this "New girl" in our lives.
From the "JohnBoy and Billy" show:
"carry on straight people!!"
Love,
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!