Mistaken for a woman while en drab?

[Amanda]

I hate to bring up an old topic, but it happened to me again. Today, while purchasing car tags, I was called "ma'am" twice. Once when I entered the office and again when leaving. My wife was with me and I was in no way presenting myself as a female. I was wearing my usual jeans, t-shirt and hat. When we left the office, I asked my wife about it. I asked her if my hair is too long or maybe my man-boobs are getting too large. Her response was "no", however I can not figure out why this happened. It has happened before at resturants also. We normally have a good laugh and forget about it, but today was different. It was distrubing to me. I wonder if the clerk was making fun of me or actually thought I was female. Your thoughts please.

[Diannna]

I didn't vote because It has never happened to me. I guess I just don't present any form of feminenity from the rear when in any form of drab.

[DonnaT]

I hate to bring up an old topic, but it happened to me again. Today, while purchasing car tags, I was called "ma'am" twice. Once when I entered the office and again when leaving. My wife was with me and I was in no way presenting myself as a female. Your thoughts please.

If your wife was with you, maybe it was she who was being addressed as ma'am.

Without being there or seeing you, I couldn't say.

[Alana]

Amanda, I doubt that the clerk was making fun of you. I presume something about your demeanor or appearance gave the clerk the impression you were female. He/she may not have realized you were not a woman or didn't want to admit that he/she had made a mistake.

As to why the clerk thought you were a woman, it was probably a first impression. Hair length/style, earrings (if any), mannerisms, etc. may have given the clerk a wrong impression. Or, as Donna T suggests the reference was to your wife.

Regardless, if I were you, I wouldn't worry about it. When it happens to me, I just accept it as a compliment.

Love,

Alana

[SandiAnne]

I have been blessed with a voice that is mistaken as feminine. It happens frequently on the phone with strangers and several times in public while en drab. The public happenings are in this form - a clerk will be busy with some task but is peripherally aware of my presence when I speak. The clerk's reply is frequently, "Yes, ma'am. May I help you?" Then they see me and fall all over themselves apologizing...while I am secretly VERY pleased.

Sandianne

[CherryLynn]

while getting off the train a man bumped into me and said "Sorry Miss" he blushed and then said "sorry guy". I am not very manly looking short, fairly slender build . To be honest It happens more often when I- l answer the phone- being call Miss is kind of nice.

[Kay]

Well it took a long time coming but yes, it has finally happened to me, I was in a queue for coffee (what else) in a big store with my brother-in-law getting drinks for the girls and the server said ‘Good morning handsome sir” to him and I was just about to make some sarky comment and she looked straight at me and said ‘Good morning lovely lady” and me without a stitch of feminine clothing on, just drabs, longish hair and my usual black leather shoulder bag. To say I was quietly amused is an understatement. I was delighted, but she looked away quickly and said nothing else.
Kay

[Athena]

More often than not for me. Oddly enough I find it fascinating, especially since I'm 6 feet tall.

Could be a number of reasons for it happening. My thin arms (can't do a push-up to save my life), somewhat high voice, earrings (just normal studs), or other things.

A funny moment was when a boy probably about 10 years old walked up to me, said "You look like a girl!". I said "What" thinking maybe he meant something else and I heard wrong, but he replied "I said you look like a girl" and then he ran away. I laughed.

[Stephi]

I have longish hair and always wear earrings, usually small hoops. when I sit I have a feminine posture, and like to cross my legs. When I am with my girlfriend, a GG, at a restaurant it is not uncommon for the waitress to say, "What would you ladies like today?" When she realizes that I am male and tries to apologize my girlfriend usually looks at the waitress and says, "that's ok-- he takes it as a compliment." and we all laugh.

[Kay]

Is it me or am I just going to too many cafes. Further to my most pleasurable experience above I have now been ma’amed in drab three times in various coffee shops in the last month. The first one you all know about, second time was in a mall with my wife getting lunch and the third time was in the volunteers canteen at the hospital with my Mum while we were visiting. The second lady just smiled when I didn’t bat an eyelid when she said it, and the third lady behind the counter just carried on regardless, no apologies given and none expected. Each time all they saw was a longish haired bloke normally dressed, looking down at the time ‘(wo)manfully’ struggling with a tray of coffee and goodies while trying not to lose his shoulder bag onto the floor at the same time .
Kay

[Gwen Lee]

I have been called mam or miss many times, but most frequently while shopping at the grocery store. Maybe the location makes people more prone to seeing a female, as they go there more than guys? Also, if I let my hair grow longer, I definitely get noticed as female more often. I've never considered my face feminine in appearance, so maybe it is more my body language. Anyhow, I love it.

[Jabbela]

As teenager I already had my hair growing - well at least until my parents overruled me and I had to go for a hair cut (which indeed didn't bring the results my parents hoped for). In most cases I ended in the womens department to get the hair cut - but I don't know if this happened for pratical reasons or for "mistaken" me as girl. On the one hand I was a bit curious, on the other hand I liked it...

Beside this - sometimes, when my GF and me going out into a bar, I am mistaken as woman, in most cases, when someone has a first look from behind of me. One time I clearly remember was in an Irish Pub in Schwabing (Munich), when the waitress asked for our drinks - she apologized, when she saw my face - I just smiled and said: "don't worry - I do not mind"...

I guess nowadays this can happen quite often, at least, when a male has natural long hair - as it is familiar, that women wear "male" clothing like Jeans. Well - vice versa is still unusal...

[Alana]

It happened again a couple of weeks ago, although I didn't hear the original remark. I was zoning the freezer at work and it's difficult to hear things. I realized a customer was asking me a question, so I stepped back to better hear her question. When I turned around, she apologized for calling me, "Miss."

Definately had no overt femme appearance. My hair was only about 1.5 to 2 inches long, though naturally wavy. Was dressed casually in jeans and a tee shirt with the company vest.

I accepted the apology and smiled inwardly.

Alan

[Sully]

It happened to me once when I was 23, I had VERY long blond hair but male dressed and a waiter said "Madam"... That was kinda nice I recon...

[Dalindra]

Seems like alot of us have had a similar experiance.

Several times when I let my natural blonde hair grow out From behind I have had people call me mamm and with my mom at resturants Ladies.

One time from the front a clerk said thank you mamm.

Every time I was with my mom she would say I guess you need to cut your hair. The day I came out to her one of the first things she said to me was "so thats why you like your hair long" I did not deny it.