Therapy is coming ....

Jessie · Post by **Jessie** » Tue Feb 03, 2004 1:33 pm

With my company changing to a new insurance plan I can finally see a therapist. The crossdressing issue is not the center reason I am searching out a therapist but it may be one of things we may talk about, depending how I feel around the person. It is surpisingly hard to get time in to see a mental health specialist in this city. But I believe that it may help me as I have some people issues especially in large groups (as I believe I have mentioned in another post) my hands begin to shake and all that untill I can get confortable. The worst case is I feel phyiscally sick (start to sweat a lot and nausia sets in). In any case I will keep people aprise of how it goes once I finally start. Which may be another month as it will take a while for the insurance company to get us our new medical cards.

Jessie

Alexandra · Post by **Alexandra** » Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:05 pm

Good luck with that Jessie!

S. Lisa Smith · Post by **S. Lisa Smith** » Tue Feb 03, 2004 6:14 pm

This type of anxiety is not as rare as you might think. We had a young woman living with us for her senior year in H.S. who had the same problem (which I never picked up on, my son and wife told me later). She saw a doctor and she proscribed some antianxiety medicine and she says it seems to have worked. I think that one is gradually weaned from it so that it no longer becomes necessicary after a time. I hope that your problems are similar and that you will shortly start to work your way out of the anxiety. Good luck!

Laura · Post by **Laura** » Tue Feb 03, 2004 10:33 pm

Hi Jessie,

I'm a fan of therapy, not just as a way of solving problems, but as a way of enhancing your self-awareness. As long as you get someone you can trust, it will probably help. Good luck!

love,

Laura

Jadhe · Post by **Jadhe** » Wed Feb 04, 2004 6:20 am

Ahh, therapy! The perfect medicine for our minds. I've been in therapy, although for a very different reason. Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of, as if you have a problem that can be cured, then why not cure it then?

If you have a broken leg, you go see the docter. And if your mind is playing tricks with you, you go see the mind-doctor (therapist

).

Ehm, anyway, I'm happy for you.

CJ · Post by CJ » Wed Feb 04, 2004 8:13 am

Hi all,

Jessie,

I wish you success and perseverance in your therapy. Make sure you find a therapist you're comfortable with. Do you have a preference for a male of a female therapist?

I have to deal with meds a lot in the work I do, and it's true that they can be helpful, as Lisa and Jadhe have suggested. However, like anything else that might be useful for bettering your health, they're just a tool, not a panacea.

As depression was the "illness of the moment" back in the 90s (think: Prozac Nation or "Paxil puppies"), so is anxiety fast becoming the most prevalent "disorder" in this decade. Xanax, Anafranil, and Ativan prescriptions, amongst others, are skyrocketing. Choose well, and be aware that meds, though useful, are only part of the solution. Never be afraid to get your doctor or therapist to inform you about the benefits and possible side-effects of meds. Ask questions!

Good luck, Jessie.

Love,
CJ

Allena · Post by **Allena** » Wed Feb 04, 2004 1:17 pm

I hope therapy works for you!
Like a few folks here, I've seen a number of therapists in my time.
My issues were family related (mom/dad) along with my struggling with crossdressing/sexuality issues.
Remember that even though you are the patient seeking a professional's help, YOU are still the one in charge.
YOU decide who to see
YOU decide what you want to talk about
YOU decide whether you will take medications or not
YOU are in charge.
I say this because I work in the medical field and my wife does also.
I can tell you that some of the most difficult patients to deal with are the ones who:
1) don't get involved in their own treatment i.e., "I don't want to hear all that mumbo-jumbo, just tell me what to do"
or
2) arrive with a negative attitude, a chip-on-the-shoulder i.e., "Fix me now! If you are incapable of doing that, I'll just find another Doctor who can!"

Both patients are wanting, no, EXPECTING modern medicine to cure them!
There is no cure without the patients help.
I see that by your being here, you are someone who seeks to understand and involve yourself with your life's issues.
I applaud you!

One thing I hope you realize about yourself is that you are a STRONG person. Some folks may think the Internet is an EASY place to hide from public exposure/embarassement, but I still think it takes a bit of strength to come out in a place like this.
Your strength does show here.

My experiences in picking someone to talk with range from opening up the phonebook and calling, starting with the A's.
To getting ahold of a health professional directory and going through the backgrounds/areas of specialty of the therapists inside.
If you have a County Mental Health office, you might find some good info on the therapists in your area.
As mentioned above, deciding if you are comfortable speaking with a male or female is a good first step.
But ultimately, you should meet with the person or even at first speak with them over the phone, to get better acquainted.
Definitely think of questions you want to ask them such as,

"What areas of mental health do you specialize/are trained in?"- there are some folks who are just marriage/family counseling, some have experience and a desire to help with sexuality issues, rape/incest, phobias, etc.

"What methodology do you use in your therapy sessions?"- I have seen one who tried hypnosis on me, one lady who suggested meds in our first meeting, one who listened and mirrored what I said well but let me figure out what direction to go, one who did a lot of physical therapy like having me lie on the floor vocalizing and bouncing my body up and down, and finally the lady my wife and I are seeing now who I think is the best thing since sliced bread! Basically, I didn't always ask this question, and so I spent a few hours with some of these people which I truly feel wasn't productive. That's why I wound up not staying with many of them.

"How much do you charge, do you submit to my insurance or do I?"-costs can be an issue even if you have insurance. You should know what your coverage is going to be, and how much deductible you will have to pay. I personally HATE dealing with money issues when it comes to patients, but it is a fact-of-life for almost anyone in the medical field now. There are ways a Physician or Therapist can work with billing/diagnosis codes that help with insurance issues, but you don't want to get involved in anything that basically boils down to lying to the insurance company. Lots of problems there.

"What kind of information about our sessions, about me personally, about the indicated treatment (medications, hypnosis, etc.) do you have to report to my insurance company" - remember, your insurance company does need to at least have a diagnosis, plus other info in order to process any claim. Don't let the feeling of "Big Brother" scare you off from help, but you might be able to minimize the amount and type of information going out of your therapist's office by working with your therapist on this.

YOU ARE IN CHARGE! Didn't I see that somewhere else?

You need to ask the questions popping up in your head! Don't dismiss them as insignificant or as some folks put it, "stupid!", because they are NOT Stupid!

Well, as you can see, I need HELP in the "BE CONCISE AND NOT TOO WORDY" area of life.
My apologies again for such a long post.

The older I get, the more advice I want to give

Best wishes for your health!

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Wed Feb 04, 2004 1:45 pm

Allen, thank you for your post.

I have been having some uncertainties about my search for a therapist, primarily in that I want to maximumize my chances of finding a person of integrity and skill. I don't want a rubber stamp, but neither do I want a "gate-keeper". I have not been certain about the questions I should ask. The advice in your post is a good place to start. Thanks again!

Jessie · Post by **Jessie** » Thu Feb 05, 2004 6:11 pm

THANK YOU ALLEN

I copied some your questions I should ask so that I may ask them when and if I can find a therapist. All the ones I have seen in the past have all been male. The last one was the worst as I believe I have mentioned as I knew him to well outside the office making hard to talk to. My mom (the only family member to know about my CDing) suggested this dr. that I am researching. I have trouble finding if my insurance covers him or not as the book is kind of old that they gave us at the company meeting. I know I am going to try the internet web site and see if that helps. I spoke to the doctor once and he sounds very nice. My mom likes him also (I trust my mom a lot) but he did say that if he is not in the network that he could recommend someone who might be.

I shall keep everyone informed.

Jessie

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 8:44 am

Hi Jessie,

Best of luck!!!

Beauty

Allena · Post by **Allena** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:04 pm

O.K. you two, you can use my advice, but I don't bill insurance so you'll have to pay me in large sums of unmarked bills.

Jessie, I believe I missed your post or worse...may have forgotten about your prior experiences with therapy...I'm Sorry...

I feel that finding the a person we can be comfortable with is every bit as important as their credentials.
I truly hope you find the right one without too much searching.

Jessie · Post by **Jessie** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:03 pm

Well tommor morning I have an apointenment with a new theropist. An 8am meeting (not that hard for me being a morning person). I will post how it goes.

Jessie

S. Lisa Smith · Post by **S. Lisa Smith** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:50 pm

Good luck!!

Jessie · Post by **Jessie** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:59 pm

Thanks to every one for all your advice. I shall take it with the grain of sand that turns your life around. Oh yea the doc has a intersting name also.

Jessie

Jessie · Post by **Jessie** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 12:37 pm

Well I had my first evolution with my new theropist this morning. His ofice is so close that I can walk there (which is good for me). Still I felt for a first meating he was pretty cool a lot better than any other teropist that I have had. Unlike the past ones he seamened to ask questions. Where as my last one of the bat wanted to know what my goals of the teropy would be. (I HADE NO IDEA).

OFFTOPIC (it takes me forever to change and doing something different)

But we talked he even said he would contact my insurance company and see about how my insurance works as I have a probelm with it. He gave me some papers to read and sign before I went in one is his fee which is high but as soon as the insurance kicks in then it will go down.

Any way that was my first session. We talked mostly about my social issuses and how some of them may have occured.

Jessie