Giving up (for now)

Willie W · Post by **Willie W** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:04 pm

I'm packing away all of my femme attire. Panties, bras, hosery, garterbelts, camis, slips, skirts, blouses, dresses, and all my heels.
I've got a large suitcase packed full. Since my daughter and her children moved in 6 months ago I have zero opportunities to dress except for the nightgowns I sleep in, and even then, I can't leave the bedroom with them on.
My wife and I are no longer intimate, and I can't even keep it up to masturbate.
I am not purging, but packing it all away in hopes of better days to come.
I'm sorry to post such a depressing statement, I guess I just needed to vent.
I intend to remain active here at this forum and a few others I belong to.

Post by **DonnaT** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:40 pm

Any way to dress in the bedroom, besides night gowns? Lock the door for several hours? I used to do this before coming out to my children.

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:02 pm

Willie,
I feel so sorry for you, I hope you and the wife can work out something

Willie W · Post by **Willie W** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:42 pm

I have a small den (9x12) with my PC and a TV that I can lock myself into but, honestly, that's even more depressing to have to hide myself away like that.
The situation is compounded by the fact that my wife, daughter, and myself are all recently out of work.
Sometimes I just wish I could just walk away from the whole mess.

Diannna · Post by **Diannna** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:43 pm

Willie, I feel for you sister. I hope better day's are ahead. Stay strong.

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 6:45 pm

Hi Willie,

It sounds like the stresses of life have you a bit overwhelmed right now. I am glad that you are not throwing your clothes away. Better days are ahead, even if you can't see them right now. There will be a time when opening that box and putting on your favorite garment will give you that familiar feeling that is pleasurable beyond mere sexual fulfillment.

For many dressing is kind of like a holiday, a celebration of life. You may be in that category and with things on the down right now, it may make you feel guilty for trying to feel good when things are not going well. The other side of that of course is that sometimes dressing is the only left that makes us feel good when the chips are down. Only you can know.

In any event, I hope things turn around for you soon and remember your sisters here are all pulling for you and offer our comfort and support or just someone to talk to. And if you need a shoulder to cry on, we are here for that as well.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:50 pm

HI Willie,

Thanks for saying that you intend to still participate on the forum.

I'm not sure where you are from, but is there any active support group in you area? If you "pm" Donna she may be able to tell you some groups in the area and that would give you a chance to not only get out, but all the groups I know that have meetings usually have a "changing room" for those who have to change before and after the meeting and it would give you a chance to socialize with "us." As I am fond of saying "we are nice folk."

Let us know how it going for you!

Love,

Virginia

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 10:31 pm

Hi Willie--
If you can arrange that once a month visit to a support group, it would be worth at least one try. Even if you don't dress for the occasion, it's good to be around people who know. I hope things improve as the year goes on.

JoAnnDallas · Post by **JoAnnDallas** » Tue Feb 24, 2009 8:54 am

Almost all support groups will have a place where you can change into fem for the meeting and then change back to drab afterwards.

Before I told my wife, I would go to my support group meeting, change there, then drive home em fem, and then change in the garage before I went inside. If it is late when you get back then mabey you could just then walk thru the house, into the bedroom, then into the bathroom, then change.

I have one CD sister that drives to a rest stop that has bathrooms, uses the famly bathroom to change, then goes out for a few hours, comes back to the rest stop, changes back and goes home.

There are ways, it just takes a little immagination.

Hugs,

JoAnn

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Tue Feb 24, 2009 8:55 am

Hi Willie,

This is more or less what I do every summer when the kids are home from school and my wife the teacher is home on vacation. I think of it as the natural ebb and flow of things and it's not a big deal. Sometimes I will miss it and occaisionally an opportunity will present itself.

The idea of locking myself in my room while my family is around so I can dress is extremely unappealling. And envisioning my teenage daughters reaction to me hanging out in a dress is even more unappealing

So pack the stuff away for awhile, let events transpire as they are supposed to, and try not to have a resentment about it. Concentrate on gratitude that you are able to be there for your family. After all this is a lot better than having your daughter feel unwilling to have her children around you.

Keep the box handy in case they go away for a day or something.

I hope the employment situation improves. I'm not working that much right now either. I'd trade the oportunity to work for the opportunity to dress any day.......

Absaroka

Willie W · Post by **Willie W** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:51 pm

I want to thank everyone for the kind comments and advice. I have not packed anything away yet. In fact I went out yesterday and bought some new lingerie. (that aways makes me feel better!)
I'm sure I'll get through this, some days I feel like giving up but I know I'm strong enough to handle whatever life hands me.

DeeDee · Post by **DeeDee** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:02 pm

Heck, I think we all go through that at times, so just relax, don't purge and wait for the next wave!!!! I don't think its dressing so much as lifes "beat ya up" stuff. Take care
DeeDee

CJ · Post by CJ » Thu Feb 26, 2009 8:19 am

Hi all,

Willie,

Sometimes circumstances are such that we can't don our finery. That still doesn't change who we are--who you are--though. I think it's a wise move on your part to just box things up rather than give up.

I'm in my third year of no-dressing and, if I didn't know any better, I'd start believing I was "cured." But being a crossdresser isn't merely a matter of what you wear (or don't wear) or how you present yourself (or don't present yourself); it's also--and mostly--a matter of who you feel yourself to be, on the inside. This, we share with our transsexual sisters, by the way. And this, you cannot "box away," regardless of your circumstances.

I wish you well, Willie. Be patient. Like some of my sisters have said here, be open also to possibilities you may not have considered before. The universe cannot force you to keep yourself hidden for longer than you can bear.

Love,
CJ

Jennifer M · Post by **Jennifer M** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 6:41 pm

I fight this battle all the time.There are days when I want so badly for all of this to just go away.I want so badly to just get rid of everything and just be a normal guy.We all know that wont happen,and I realize that it is just my male side coming out.It causes a lot of frustration,more than I want to admit.Like everyone before me has said we are who we are,and I know that soon my femme side will be screaming to get out as much as my male side does.I feel like I am on a pendulum,on one extreme or another and very little time in the middle where the balance seems to be.
Hang in there Willie ,we are all here for each other and thankfully it does make a difference.

Erin L · Post by **Erin L** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:35 pm

Be well, Willie. Who would have thought that we'd be forced to go through such terrible times?