Am I the only CD'er that has this problem?

[Laura Bird]

So as much as I enjoy dressing as a girl - I like being a guy, too.

Funny thing is, while en femme, I can critique my outfits down to the finest detail. I can be indecisive about what shoes to wear, which top goes with which skirt, which accessory to put with the outfit, etc. I can see how changing just one detail can change the entire mood of an outfit. And I have good, conscious reasons for liking one over the other. I offer a lot of feedback and constructive criticism for my wife when she's choosing an outfit (only when asked, of course!) and 99% of the time, she agrees with me.

But when it comes to picking out clothes for myself when dressed as a man... I'm clueless! Aside from when I bring out my dress clothes (shirt and tie, dress slacks, etc. - I have some really great shirt/tie combinations) I couldn't tell you if it looked good or not. I normally just default to jeans and t-shirts/sweatshirts. The wife got me some trendier stuff and if she puts it together for me ("Here wear this shirt, and this over top, and these jeans, with these shoes") I'm fine... but if I've gotta put it together myself while staring at my clothes rack in the closet - forget it! I just stand there and stare in a stupor!

I figure it must be because when I admire a girl I see, I really pay attention and notice these things. When I look at a guy, I just... well, I don't really even look or pay attention to guys (which I think makes sense as I'm definitely straight!)

Does anybody else have this problem or am I just a wierdo?

[Stephanie W]

Hi Mandy

Nope, you're not a weirdo at all. Like most of us, we do pay a lot of attention to our femme presentation, but then again, so do most women. While women generally may have more sartorial choices, yada yada yada, they are also acutely aware of the extra scrutiny they're likely going to receive from BOTH sexes, (whether they like it or not) hence the extra attention to detail.....

Men on the other hand tend to be practitioners of practicality (try saying THAT after a few too many) who spend little or no time worrying about whether they look presentable or not. Nor do most really care! When they do, it's usually because of work or have the benefit of some firm guidance from their better half. Otherwise, left to their own devices, you have that blank 'stupor' you talked about.

For me though, I do have a passing interest in looking presentable and wanting to look reasonably trendy in guy mode. However, if I can pull it off with the least amount of effort, so much the better. It just means I'm good to go that much sooner. In femme mode though, it's always a bigger operation for sure, but as it's so much more fun, time can be our friend if we have enough of it. Therein lies the rub. Too little can make us yearn for those simpler guy moments where jeans and the t-shirt on top of the laundry pile does it for us.

Stephanie

[Lydia]

Hi MandyBird,

If you're a weirdo - we are all weirdos. And loving it.

Back when teachers wore suits and ties to work, my wife would often say:"You can't wear that with that !!" Even now, when I dress about 50/50 M or F, my drab outfit is that whatever I grab first. But I agonize over what to wear from my burgeoning femme wardrobe. Paula (my SO) laments that I look better dressed than she does.

I think the crucial point here is that we have to labor to look feminine, the GGs have it naturally.

Don't analyze it - just enjoy it.

Hugs,

Lydia

[Laura Bird]

LOL thanks Lydia Yes I'm definitely already a wierdo. I just wondered if I was a bigger wierdo than most!

My wife is jealous of my legs. (I don't know why - I think she has fantastic, very curvy legs!) We went out for halloween dressed as twins (Little Miss Muffett or something like that - we got the costumes at a costume store.) VERY short, poofy skirt with petticoats, heels, white fishnets. I got double the cat-calls she did while walking down the street, getting from the car to the public party 4 blocks away!

[Anita]

Hi Mandy--
I experienced what you're talking about, and it surprised me. When I bought my first 'girl' clothes, I suddenly had strong opinions on colors, style, fabric, and what went with what. Where did this come from? I had no idea that I somehow knew these things, but I did, and women complimented me on my choices.

[Laura Bird]

Anita -

Yes exactly!!!! I pay attention to ALL that stuff! Fabrics, cuts, patterns/prints, etc.

And I can't exactly put my finger on why or how. It's just sorta natural. I can look at a top and skirt and just kinda "know" - "Naaaah that doesn't look right...." When the wife asks my opinion on her outfit, and say I just get an instinctual "naaaaah" feeling about, say, her shoes, I'll tell her. She'll tell me, "Really? I think these shoes are ok...." and I'll go dig out another pair of hers from the closet and tell her, "here, try these." And sure enough, she agrees they look better.

I don't know why, or how. It's just kind of an internal gut feeling I guess. Funny thing is, I really only started wearing full women's clothes AFTER I told my wife. Prior to that, when I dressed, it was usually just the underwear under my regular clothing. So it's not like I've had tons of practice at it. The wife, on the other hand, is VERY fashion conscious, so I was surprised to see I've been able to work with her successfully on this kind of stuff!

[Jodie Wexler]

I guess I'm the weird one because I have no problem with the guy stuff. I fact I enjoy wearing suits and ties and dress shirts and slacks. Infact just th other day I said to my wife I miss my old job where I would wear a dress shirt & tie everyday.
Now that I am self employed I usually just wear a sweat shirt and jeans unless I am meeting with a client. I like dressing up in nice clothes as a guy and a girl.
Jodie

[Leeza]

I love dressing in a suit so much that I have told my family that I only put a siut on for funerals. One of them said,"but Dad you are in a suit and this is a wedding." and I replied," that I said I only wear a suit for funerals.

Leeza

[Ann Stef]

My wife says that I am very particular when picking out my femme clothes. When it comes to dressing up in male arttire, she says that i have no interest in srtyle or matching. I usually just throw any male clothes on without thought. I guess the mindset makes me particular to dress properly as a lady with everything matching properly.

[Diannna]

I know wat you mean Mandy. I too can put together an out fit when I go enfemme. However, when in male mode, it's usually one of two ways. Jeans and a tee or denim shirt or suit and white shirt and tie. But to be trendy, I'm lost. The s/o has to lend a hand.

[Geri Robinson]

Do ya think that the choice of colors has anything to do with it? There is so much more to work with. Look at the selection at the stores. The difference is night and day between the mens section and womens section. Also shoes! I love womens shoes, you really have to have a different pair for each outfit. Mens shoes, well..

[Azurielle]

I just don't feel like my male wardrobe has to be worked on much. With the classic Jeans/Tee or Jeans/Polo combo you are practically just as trendy as you need to be. And besides, isn't the whole point of still having a male mode resume to being able to apply the ''if it aint' broken, don't fix it'' approach when you don't feel like working on appearances?