Middel age?

[Sally]

I doubt whether I feel any different regarding who and what I am now as compared to when I was in my twenties. My desires and knowledge within myself about myself have always remained constant, but when I reached the age of 50, that was when the reality hit home that I was running out of time to taste and experience the life I had wished for so desperately ever since childhood.

It was at the age of 50 that I said to myself it was now or never, and the fear of one day knowing it would all be over and saying, “ I wish I had of………….” gave me the strength that I’d always lacked to be able to ’come out’ to the world, to seek medical and psychological advice which led to hormone programs and a complete change of lifestyle. It may be possible that me being TG may have made the situation more urgent, but I’m not sure about that because I’ve spoken personally to so many people of our ilk over the years about these things, and for whatever reasons, the feelings seem to become more urgent and intense around middle age for the majority of us.

I believe it can be a multiple of reasons why the urges can increase at this stage of life, including, lifestyle changes with children growing up and leaving home, more time to ourselves on our hands, the natural decrease of testosterone production by the body around this age which produces hormone imbalances, the realization that we’re running out of time to achieve life long goals and it’s now or never etc. It may also be in some cases that by middle age most people have been married around the 20 year mark and the fear or liklihood of a marriage break up may be lesser then than in the early days. It may be that after being togetehr for so many years the fear of now revealing is lesser than it was at the beginning of the relationship.

I think also that over the last 20 years it’s become easier to expand our horizons because of changes in public attitudes, and in many places the fact that anti discrimination laws have been put in place in many states and countries which cover us, and a more general acceptance of people who live alternative life styles to what has been regarded as the norm for so long by the majority of the community. I also think that around and after middle age we’re more independent, in that we have acquired most of the things necessary in life, such as cars, house and materialistic things etc, and for some, the fear of losing their job or being ostracized by society doesn’t carry the fear it once did when we were much younger. We’ve learned to handle life better now and more able to adjust to different circumstances as they may arise, and for many of us, what others may say or think doesn’t hold the same fear that it may have years ago.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

[Phylis Anne]

dear virginia,i just loved what you wrote and i also will compliment a gg ,even my daughters when they buy a new dress and try it on before they go out on a date i will tell them that they look very lovely.as for other women i work delivering food to a neighborhood in brooklyn where the women are always properly dressed and i sometimes compliment them on what they are wearing .and they all love to hear that.as for getting older i am now 64 and as i have told the members of cdi i always feel younger when i am dressed enfemme and i also feel younger as being in a dress always makes me feel like a young girl.we are in a very special sorriety,and i feel very proud to belong to our community. love phylisanne

[Susann_Gardener]

Well, I think my male side has passed middle age (Heck, I'm retiring next week), but mt female side has a lot of teenage tendencies. Guess the increased desire to dress is the teenager trying to catch up with the old guy!

[Virginia]

Susann,
Sorry, the boss called, they need you too much so your retirement has been cancelled!
I hope you have a great retirement party and then just let Susann roam free!
And we do expect to see more posts from you, now that you will have nothing to do!!!
Love,
Virginia

[Bernice]

For those of us near/ at (gasp) middle age; Do the urges get stronger about now? Do you find yourself complementing women more on their cloths, hair whatever ? Anyone else see this happening to them?

I'm only 53, and my urges are no stronger, but being older, I spend more time being unemployed, so I get to act on those urges more.

I complement women more because I have more of an appreciation for the work that goes into it, and because I have less fear of recriminations. The other day I was shopping the women's clothing for my wife (unusual, since I usually shop the women's clothing for me), and I was still very careful what I said to a friendly lady who asked if that was what I was doing.

As a CD/TG for 44 years, I see no appreciable change in my urges, only in my self-acceptance, and enlightenment.

I hope this helps.

Hugs,

Bernice

[Ann Stef]

All you yopung babies undert age 60 have no idea how us senior citizens enjoy CD. With nothing to protrude for embarrasement, we spend more time studying the style of dresses and skirts. When we go into public, we don't waste time wearing female jeans that look the same as mens jeans. We dress conservatively in "old ladies" dresses, and 2 pc skirt and blouse backside's. We do have to use more make-up to hide the wrinkles, and have to apply more eyelash liner, and eyebrow pencils to enhanse our looks. We add a little class with nice earrings, necklace and bracelets to dress up our ensemble.

Since we look like old ladies, mose people don't spend as much time trying to "read' us. Only the very young try to read us. In the south of USA, I usually go to conservative resturants, theaters, etc where older people go to.

There is a big difference of where we have fun going out. No time is spent in wild bars trying to impress young men whuile wearing mini-skirts. WE are definitely old ladies who enjoy going out for mild entertainment, and dressed to the hilt.

[April Rose]

I wouldn't know, I'm not middle aged yet. I'm only 58.

Seriously, though, as I've gotten older i've noticed that there is considerably less conflict in my feelings about dressing, but I'm dressing more and more.

[Kendra Lynn]

Hello all: Proud to be a member of the 50 plus sorority here!
I didn't start "dressing" until I hit my mid/late 40's; all I can say is confidence in going out has grown over time, as has my sense of what "femme" styles look best on me.
And by the way, 50 plus isn't what it used to be... I don't wear micro minis and "fishnets," but do wear things that have a youthful spirit to them, or things that look good on a person of almost any age. I describe my "femme" look as "nice girl with a hippie accent"-- which can mean a preppy sort of outfit with a peace sign pendant or wearing a crocheted poncho over a nice dress.
Peace-- Kendra Lynn ("hippie cheerleader").

[Jill S]

I have tried to post this several times now but always deleted what I typed.
Only a year since asking this question and I find I know the answer for me and it scares me. I can't make the noise in my head stop, I don't feel the sense of relief and quite that dressing used to bring. I still cross dress but mostly it makes me sad when I have to go back to being "normal" . I wish dressing brought the days or weeks of peace like it used to, also I wish I didn't feel cheated,guilty,lonely when I see women being social with each other. I know I can never be a woman or even go out in public like some of you can, it would end my marriage, my job and cause so much pain for others. Sorry for my negativity but I feel like I am barely holding my life and family together at this point.

[Leeza]

Jill,

At one point I had things come apart and my first wife blamed it on me being a cd I don't know as I can help but hang in there. Some times we just have to do the best we can with the cards we are delt. Then again, sometimes what we can do with those cards is a real surprise.

From a former CO girl living a little further east.

Leeza

[Jan W]

Absolutely yes.

I tell women when they look nice. I don't plan to it just happens.

A nicely presented woman embracing her femininity is a joy to be near.

As I mature my appreciation is definitely growing.


Jan

[Erin L]

I was on line at the register of our cafeteria the other day. There was a new cashier working there, a very lovely young woman (I mean, REALLY lovely!) wearing a satin blouse, short black skirt, dark hose and heels. She had really large, brown eyes. She was also wearing a very pretty heart pendant.

As she gave me my change, I thanked her, and then I said, "That's a lovely pendant."

She was stunned, and stammered a thank you, and sort of smiled as I walked away.

[Bernice]

I see the last seven responses all posted after my 55th birthday, so I'll fabricate this as an excuse to say hello again, and post again. I had no idea my last post would more or less kill the thread for about two years, nor was that my intent.

Age 55 has me definitely feeling middle age. It's hard to say if the urges are stronger. I am who I am and my wonderful wife accepts me either way. Oh she commented tonight about how much she appreciates me, and I think I blushed, but I digress.

I asked a coworker if she had done something different with her hair. She replied "I cut some bangs". I told her how good she looked, and how I was a pushover for bangs. She grinned.

A week later, as I arrived one morning, I reminded her how much I loved her hair. Still got a smile.

My point - if there is one - I think people like to be noticed. Nothing makes a person more lonely than to go through life as though nobody knows they are there. Try ignoring someone after they speak to you. Nothing is more inflammatory, so please don't actually try this.

People don't expect compliments, perhaps in part because most of us work for managers with no management training, hence we never get compliments except from friends/family who may want something in return.

What would life be like with no pleasant surprises?

Hugs,
Bernice