"What's going on?"
"Well, it's a girl...but she's, well, you know, she's like you, what do I do?"
I imagine she hasn't had too many cd/tg types breeze through her place, judging from the 'OMG!' tone of voice she's giving off, over the phone...I tell her, "I'll be right over"
Sure enough, I get there, and there's a 30 something man & woman, the guy's got on a dress that's about two sizes too small, a bad wig and shoes I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, and the girl's arguing "with him in the 'NO! NO! NO NO NO!' voice. I introduce myself as a friend of the owner/part time employee, and ask if there's anything I can help with. I get an incredulous look from the both of them, as if I'm a mormon missionary recruiting in a muslim mosque.
The guy stammers, "But, you...you're a guy? right?"
I reply, "occasionally...but who am I to argue? You're the one in the dress. Look, I'm a CD, just like you...I think, what are you looking for today? casual? officewear? eveningwear?"
"Uhhh...casual, I guess, maybe some gowns and stuff?"
His wife is speechless, still staring at me, so I go into my sales pitch, trying to be as gentle as I can be, and at the same time, hoping I won't hit a level of snobbery that wouldn't be out of place on an episode of 'What Not To Wear!".
I brighten up, "OK, let's get some measurements", as I grab the owner's tape, and start to pull it taught against the strained dress he's wearing, making small talk, "So, hon, what's your name?"
"Christy... this is my wife Sandra"
"Hiya, Christy, my name's Michelle sometimes..Mike most of the time...OK, looks like you're about a 20W, let me show you a few easy to wear things, all casual like, and then we'll find you a gown or two, OK? Maybe a purse, some earrings, all that stuff!"
Christy looked nervous, scared and even a bit apprehensive, but the more I spoke to her, she began to open up. I leafed through a couple of the racks we were near and pulled out a couple of simple, long tank dresses, and said "Go into the dressing room, try these" and I turned to Christy's wife, still speechless and make small talk with her, while we wait for Christy to come out of the dressing room.
"How long has she been into this? First time out shopping? Are you regretting coming along? Look, it's nothing to be worried about. Let Christy have a bit of fun. It makes for a more understanding & sensitive S/O."
"Mik..chelle? What are you doing?", the stunned wife asks me?
"Helping a neighbor as well as a sister CD silly!"
She smiles and I press my advantage..."Look, she can dress like some kind of trashy gutterslut hooker, or she can be classy and refined...just look at that!", pointing to Christy, just emerging from the dressing room, beaming, admiring the beadwork on the front of the first dress, looking like a kid on x-mas morning that got everything and then some that was asked of santa.
"Honey! I've gotta have this! AND the other one!" exclaims Christy.
"Let me find you a purse and some other accessories, a girl's gotta put a look together!"
So I leave the both of them to browse a bit, coming back after I've found her a purse to go with the dress and an evening gown. By the time I get back to them, Christy's beaming, and Sandra is even smiling, looking at me like I'm the savior of all things misguided.
I make a bit more small talk, holding the gown off the floor, and Christy's gotta have em' too. I remind them to pick out items in that size, if they want to browse more, and I give Sandra a few links on the web for other stuff like shoes, zappos, designershoes dot com, etc. and a link back to the CD forums here too, if she wants to register and see what we're all about.
All in all, Christy spent close to 500 bucks, and I even managed to sell a purse to Sandra too. That made the owner happier than a pig in the proverbial slop, and as I walked out the door, I turned to the owner saying jokingly, "I get commission on this, right? Lemme know if any more come in needing help, OK?"
