Strange Top

[Erica S]

My wife was folding laundry yesterday and had a top and asked if it was one of mine. I looked at her and said no. She then relized that it was her size and she had not seen it in a long time. I wanted to talk more about clothing but I just do not know what to say to her.

I wish I could just start talking abot wearing women's clothes and see were it goes. I guess I am afraid of what she will say, aftger all she does not like me to dress very much and well if she knows she might blow her top.

Does anyone have any helpful suggestions on how to start a converstion on this topic? I really want to tell my wife but I do not want it to become a battle or worse.

Erica

[DonnaT]

If she asked you whether or not the top was yours, seems to me she already knows. Or am I missing something here?

As for talking about it, I wouldn't.

My wife seems to be quite a bit more accepting than yours, and sees me dressed all the time, but she still would rather not discuss it. So, we don't.

[Carol Ann]

My wife see me dress nearly everyday and we are always talking about girl things. I believe she does it just to keep Carol happy, how when it comes to cloths she runs hot and cold about that I like to wear and what she saids I should wear.
Now I can dress casual for everyday wear or get all dolled up as if going to church but she let's me know "DRESS YOUR AGE" and proper.

[Kittie]

M y wife has given me advice from time to time in partucular with bras showing through. She lets me wear feem most evenings now

[KimberlyS]

Erica, my wife did not want to talk much about my cding either. When ever we did talk about cding it was usually on her terms and when she had enough talking about it we were done talking about it. So being the good husband I did not push talking to her about it. Now going through a divorce and looking back my wife did this with a lot of things in our marriage. Lack of communication and information often allows the mind to wander. My wife has now said many things about my CDing that are not true but she thinks they are.

You know your wife and I am not saying you need to push your wife to talk about this more with you. But not talking about it may have the same or worse affect. Good luck with what you do.


kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt




My wife could not handle the stress of talking about things and had trouble dealing with stress in general So being the good husband I did not push talking to her about it.

My wife was folding laundry yesterday and had a top and asked if it was one of mine. I looked at her and said no. She then relized that it was her size and she had not seen it in a long time. I wanted to talk more about clothing but I just do not know what to say to her.

I wish I could just start talking abot wearing women's clothes and see were it goes. I guess I am afraid of what she will say, aftger all she does not like me to dress very much and well if she knows she might blow her top.

Does anyone have any helpful suggestions on how to start a converstion on this topic? I really want to tell my wife but I do not want it to become a battle or worse.

Erica

[Pat]

I must admit that it is 4 years since my divorce and that life is much less stressful these days as I dress with all my fem gear everyday and sleep in my nighties with with having to put up with all the rubbish that I use to get.

[NieA]

as for matters regarding one's significant other, ive already gotten tired of all the bullshit that results so I just dont even bother talking about it. she's not interested anyway so fine, ive no interest anymore either in telling and no fighting.

I guess youd know her more, I mean youd be able to tell if its pissing her off or not. if shes ok with things then insert it bit by bit. if not, just dont I guess until by some stroke of.. i odnt know changes her way of thinking

[Andrea Elise]

This is a really tough subject to work through. It depends on whether or not there is enough love for each other to be able to truly accept....everything that makes your partner who they are.

People fall in love and get married for many reasons and, sometimes, those reasons are selfish and self serving.

I am an expert on failed relationships. I am not expert in forming relationships that work.

My SO has fully accepted who I am. Not only in the aspect of my femiminity, but all of it. All of it in the respect of me being reclusive and a very private person. She is very willing to put up with my eccentricities and my faults. I, in turn, fully accept all of hers, AND, we talk about all of that. Sometimes, the talking drives me to distraction, but, in talking, we both are aware of what we would like and what we do not.

We have agreed to "try" to do things differently, for each other. That, sometimes, can be hard to do, but, we try to please each other as best we can, in the full knowledge that we are going to slip just because we are human. I think that we have gotten along so well just due to the fact that we try.

I get upset when I think about how one sided society is in the respect of gender "roles". Ok for ladies to wear pants, NOT right fo a man to wear a dress. After all, it is just clothing....right? Will I be ostracized for going out in public wearing a horse blanket! Or how about just wearing nothing?

It would be such a wonderful world if we could have a discussion without it turning in to an argument. Is it because our point of view does not mesh with the others point of view? Is it because the other person refuses to to change their thinking? Is it because we do the same?

Or is it simply that the other person wants everything to fit their idea of "how things will be"?

I always thought that marriage relationships were about love, sharing, communication. Teamwork.

I never thought they were about control. My SO and I have never tried to control each other in any way and that may make me unfit to reply to your request for advice.

So many unkowns about you situation. Was your wife brought up in a strict religous backgrond? Is CDing an absolutely forbiden activity? Does she think you can be cured? Is she going to hell just by proximity to your taboo activities? Does she believe you are condemned to purgatory by your actions and she is trying to save your soul?

Does she fear what the neighbors may think if you are seen? Does she fear social persecution because you have dared to challenge the borders of propriety?

Or does she view you as a child who has strayed in to bad behavior and needs to be punished?

Or none of the above? You are simply challenging her role as a wife, the woman of the house.

For me, it was an all or nothing situation. I had made up my mind that if living alone whas what it took , then so be it. I ended my relationship with my SO. She would not give up. She was coming out to my work at lunch and, because I loved her, I allowed that.

I had told her that just too much stuff had happened and that it had affected my feelings for her.

Finally, one day, I told her that I had been deeply depressed and nearly suicidal. That I was struggling with a problem that had dogged me all of my life andf that if she wanted to have a relationship with me that this was what was going on. I then described to her the anguish of being mentally female and having to function in a world that refused to accept that.

She had noticed that I had shown some traits that most men would never exhibit. Over a period of thirteen years, it is difficult to keep from allowing certain things to be hidden from others who are around you constantly.

I ended by telling her that if this was something she could not handle, our relationship had to end as I was not going to live a lie.

To my surprise she accepted me as I am. We are back together. She buys me makeup and clothes and has seen me dressed many times. We shop together and discuss fashion.

BUT, every relationship is unique. As is every situation. What works for one may not for the other.

I was done with denying myself for the sake of others. If I cannot relax and be comfortable in my own home then it is not a home for me. I denied myself for 60 years and I finally came to realize that it was only myself that I had been fighting and that I needed to accept me for what I was and not try to fit society's idea of an ideal.

Above all, you must understand that mine was an act of desperation. I, too, suffered from the fear and anxiety of outing myself to the most important person in my life...but, she needed to know. It was not fair to either of us to continue our relationship with this 'secret'. She would have, sooner or later, stumbled upon my 'things' and who knows what sort of confrontation that would have begun.

I hope that you can find some middle ground where you and your wife can open a discussion. I do hope that your love for each other can work through to a solution that does not end your relationship.

Hugs,

Andrea

[Karren Hutton]

I must admit that it is 4 years since my divorce and that life is much less stressful these days as I dress with all my fem gear everyday and sleep in my nighties with with having to put up with all the rubbish that I use to get.

Well there ya go.. Instead of asking her about clothing.... Just ask her for a divorce? Lol.

She probably already knows.. And you missed your big chance when she asked you.. "Is this yours". Answer "ohhh no.. My tops ar way more feminine than that!!"

[Kittie]

It happen ed tome last night. My wife is aware of m y CD and allows it. because we had a visitor I wore a pair of Femme PJ's and she asked ghose they were. I said theyu were her!

My wife was folding laundry yesterday and had a top and asked if it was one of mine. I looked at her and said no. She then relized that it was her size and she had not seen it in a long time. I wanted to talk more about clothing but I just do not know what to say to her.

I wish I could just start talking abot wearing women's clothes and see were it goes. I guess I am afraid of what she will say, aftger all she does not like me to dress very much and well if she knows she might blow her top.

Does anyone have any helpful suggestions on how to start a converstion on this topic? I really want to tell my wife but I do not want it to become a battle or worse.

Erica

[KenetaO]

I have pushed these feelings down for so many years that it has for me become a way of life. Always looking at what GGs are wearing, how they wear it, how I would feel in that outfit, all the feelings that most of you experience, only I have not allowed myself to put myself in the spotlight as fem. I am on my third marriage and no one in my family knows of my CDing.

At my age it is so hard, I am 60 and feel so happy each day when I do some little thing that puts me closer to actually dressing in front of someone other than a mirror that has not been very kind.

I do my own little things, wear my toe rings at work, wear my lip gloss, I shave most all of my body hair, spend time looking through thrift shops and discount clothing outlets, buying shoes, boots, skirts, panties but never putting it altogether and putting it all on for someone else to see!

KenetaO

[JoAnnDallas]

My wife has known for years and is perfectly OK with it. I under dress everyday, wear fem PJ's to bed, and dress up every weekend unless we are seeing family or having friends over. She give me tips on what or not what to wear, my makeup, and how I should act when we go out and I am fully dressed. She even talks with the wives of some of my Tri-Ess ssiters. ever so often they will be in the kitchen of the place we meet talking. One of us will walk in and they will shoo us away. I really think talking to the other wives has really helped my wife understand my CDing.