Some thoughts

[Wendae]

While some are lucky enough to have someone that is ok with our CDing, others put up with it to varying degrees, some try to ignore it and refuse to even discuss it and others are out and out opposed to the point of divorce or seperation,we mostly seem to try to be good fathers, providers, care givers, protectors and all the things one would think a woman would look for in a husband/SO. I don't know how many of us are alcoholics(been there), abusers but I think as a general rule we really care about that other person and how they view us but it pretty much seems to be a one way street. It really hurts. What makes it worse for me is that I can understand their point of view.
I can really relate to the hell that some of us have been thru and wonder at our own sanity. Guess I'm feeling blue and I'm tired of supressing it to keep the peace and not horrify the kids and relatives. Not that I'm considering it but, I wonder what the suicide rate is for CDs...

[Virginia]

Hi Wendae,

This is what this forum is about, listening and sharing. You have to know that your feelings are shared by a lot of your sisters here and, well, everywhere else.

We can send those old, tired adages, but each of us interprets and absorbs them differently. We can tell our own story also but it usually does not relate to someone else's situation. One thing we do is pick and choose from the many and varied situations and say to ourselves that, well that one works for me and the other doesn't.

Some come to the point of genuinely taking "Virginia's Challenge." Standing dressed in front of that full length mirror and asking oneself, "What is (she) worth to me?" and "What am I willing to, sic. sacrifice for her?"

This (gift) as I call it isn't easy to give away or to take for that matter, but those of us who have it (call it what you will) have it and evidently it is part of us and it isn't going away. However, some have been able to suppress it and take it the grave with them. I have no doubt that they lived very miserable lives, but it was a choice they made and stuck by it.

I wish I had a magic wand and could waive it over all our troubled sisters and it would give them the right answer for their particular situation, but I don't so all we can offer is what I stated above, a caring ear, a shoulder to cry on, and perhaps some options that have worked for some but not for others.

Please don't get too down, we are here for each other. There is a beauty in this forum that can exceed expectations. We are here for each other so keep sharing and know that you are understood and loved here!!!!

Virginia

[Wendae]

Thanks Virginia!

[Absaroka]

I try to be a good father, husband, friend, and I'm told by my children, wife, and friends that I am. I don't talk about CDing much, partly because it's just private, partly because of people's reaction, and partly out of respect for their feelings.

I've never felt it's a one way street. My wife may not want to talk about CDing on the few times I've brought it up, but she is a very caring and just plain nice person. And I have to admit that I can be pretty high maintainence.

I'm an alkie too. Clean and sober 27 years and greatful as hell about it.

Zari

[April Rose]

Sorry you're feeling blue, Wendae. I don't have much to give you in the way of advice. I just wanted you to know that I, for one, think you are a pretty great person.

Well, maybe one little bit of advice. You can't disappoint someone who doesn't care about you. It's the ones who care about you the most who might be most wary of what you have to say. That doesn't mean it wouldn't be better for them to hear it.

Anyway, your sisters here are thinking about you.

[Johanna]

She poses several great questions, which are all centered around whether we can reconcile our cross dressing with our involvement with friends and family. It is a daunting prospect, since much of society automatically rejects us as deviant, or disturbed.

I do not think I could share my experiences with my stepsons- despite the fact that I love them and they love me. I don't think I want to make them choose between the man I amn and the woman I am at times. Obviously, both are part of me, but I hope they see that in my sensitivity and care for them. My wife has already accepted that this is part of my life.

[Bernice]

Amen Virginia!

Wendae, nobody said this was easy, but you can do it!

Would this thread fit better under "coping for CDs"?

Hugs,

Bernice

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

Not sure what to say really except I there are lots of women out there who are really liberal. My family is very liberal and raised me so and my partner is and is becoming more so...don't know that happened his parents are so old fashioned
but i think there are lots of logical compatible people out there.
I would never stand to hide who I am not any part of me. I shouldn't have to and don't and I'm in an environment where i can be myself.
i surely don't understand why CDing is even a surprise let alone a concern.
If my partner Cded i wouldn't be surprised. k i would but only because he said he never would but if he did I'd be happy and not disrupted by it. It would be like him making me a cup of tea or something. nice and pleasant but not really anything to make a fuss over. Its a shame some people are so brainwashed by society's illogic that they think Cding is a surprising or disturbing thing.

[SilverLady(SO)]

Would this thread fit better under "coping for CDs"?

Yes, it would, and I'm moving the thread now.

- SL

[Danielle La Belle]

Hi Wendae:

Okay. If you have been reading my thread "Revelations", you know that I do have some experience with feeling "blue." Phew! I looked out a hotel room window on the fourth floor and thought recently, "gee, that really is not that far down."

I knew right then that it was time for me to get some help! Yes, help! I went into a hospital with a behavior unit and admitted myself for 2 days evaluation. My medicine (Prozac) was not doing the job and my serotonin levels were really not highas first thought but, but extremely low. It takes time for them to recover after extensive stress. But, on "Celexa" and leaving the poison-like environment in my home, I was able to recover nicely the past 25 days or so.

Suicide rates are rather high in the TG family and among Dentists. But, that is really not the way to go. The way to go, is the natural way, the unknown way. Much better. Someone told me, a person jumped off a bridge with a tape recorder and was able to record ten better ideas before she died at the bottom of the fall.

OKAY. So, sit down right now.....RIGHT NOW! Write out 10 alternatives RIGHT NOW! Just write as you think! Then, look them over, pick one and follow it!

YOU CAN DO IT! YES YOU CAN!

Write to us and let all of us know how you are doing. While we cannot be right there with you, we are here for you! You are never alone in this world after all there are 300 million people just in the USA. You just need one to help you! Ah so many to choose from, plenty of time to do so!

Do not sit and listen to sad music, it justs makes the feeling worse. Get up and exercise, walk, run. Run like hell away from these sad feelings! As you do so, your serotonin levels will rise but it takes a day or two. The more you exercise, the better it gets. People that do so talk about the emotional high they get from increased serotonin levels. They tell me that it can be almost addictive and they want to run to get the high after a time. It is a safe drug you make naturally!

Up and atum' girlfriend! 1-2-3...1-2-3.... Army of one! You get 100 years and then, like the dinosaurers you are gone for 65 million years and then some..this is your big day...your big opportunity to shine and be one with the universe, we need you here! How else can we talk to you and converse on subjects that matter like your life! You matter! One vote...still matters! You can't win a lottery without buying one ticket and your ticket is your life! One life, one chance to win!

Hugs

Danielle Marie
I am that I am....

[Wendae]

Danielle: It's a passing thought and I know that's not a good sign. Commitment as a care giver keeps me in line. Never liked exercises as it was always at 5a.m. and I usually had a raging hangover. The running I always found painful. I never reached that high some folks seem to get. My longest run was 8k in 58 min. Wish I could still drink but it has some nasty side effects with my diabetes. I don't do drugs and the exercises I do for 20 min 3-4 times a week are for tone. Thank for your concern. I hope your life is on an upswing. I'm amazed that you didn't check out with all of that turmoil. You have had an awful run. My thoughts are with you.