Good and bad thing about being an open cross-dresser

[Gaven McLaren]

Having been a member of this forum for a long while now I have become a more open cross-dresser. Which has it's good and bad moments. One of those things that I love is when my GG friends offer me clothes. I have had a few follow through on it as well. I spent Christmas night with a friend (GG) at her moms. I was wearing a very nice pair of pants from Converse One Star that are kind of shiny with a nice stretchy red tank and nice black shrug. My friend had to explain to her mom more then once that I am not gay just like woman's clothes. She did not ask me herself which is alright by me.

Here is my issue with this however. Later in the night she asked me if I wanted her mothers clothes. Now while I have been assured that they would be nice clothes, I was mildly offended. First because she does not know me very well (first time we have met) and secondly because her mother was in her 90's and no longer amongst the living. I am feeling conflicted by this.

[Virginia]

Hi Gaven,

First, I would tell her that that is one of the nicest things that you have had offered to you. I mean for a woman to offer to give up her own mother's clothing for any cause but for you to be asked to be the recipient, that is really an honor.

Second, take a look at what she has. I have seen some very sexy "senior citizens," and they dress nicely!!!! If you don't like the style that is what you tell her. GG's understand that each has their own style and your style is just not the same as her mother's but that she does have nice taste and the clothes speak well of her mother's choice of clothing.

Just my thoughts but it is a real positive in my opinion.

Virginia

[Leeza]

Gaven, although this gift wasn't clothes this might apply. Some of my most cherrished earrings are some that my youngest son's SO gave me from the collection her auntie had had. I never met the woman though I had an invite to meet her if I ever got to TN. But for the SO to give me something that the woman who had raised her had had really means something to me.

Leeza

[JoAnnDallas]

Thru not the same, wife and I hit a Garage sale where this lady had some of her mother's pant suits out for sale. while we were looking thru them, she let it be known that she had more in a closet. I ended up taking about 15 of these pants suits which I got for 75 cents each. I took most of these to my Tri-Ess meeting, where they turned out to be a big hit.
So if you belong to an CD group and even if the design is not to your liking, you could always take them to your meeting where I am sure some of your GF's may take them off your hands.

[Gaven McLaren]

They were offered not given. I did not accept the clothes. I just kind of nervously laughed. I am not sure why but the fact that a person that I had just met was offering me their dead mothers clothes offended me a bit.

[Janet Bern]

I really believe that you have a great gg friend. I agree completely with Virginia. She really honored you by offering and if it were me I probably would have looked and maybe even found a nice outfit for myself. By the way, dont you think that when we shop at a goodwill we are getting a lot of dead folks outfits. Just a thought.
Janet

[Anita]

Gaven wrote:

I am not sure why but the fact that a person that I had just met was offering me their dead mothers clothes offended me a bit.

I can see why it might bother you, Gaven. She's offering very personal items to a person that she just met, and it doesn't quite feel right. You might expect her to be a little more cautious about this. Rather than being flattered that she trusts you, it has the opposite effect--you end up feeling that she doesn't know you well enough to have extended that trust. Just my thoughts on the situation.

[Willie W]

I'd say relax. It's usually the task of the child to dispose of they're deceased parent's things. So she was going to "get rid" of these things anyway, you simply provided a means.

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

It is mildly offensive i would have found her ignorant attitude to your sexuality more offensive and given her the finger lol.

I think good things about CDing are when people think I look like a boy and bad things are when I'm crossdressing and people call me a lady. I hate that word.

[Absaroka]

What to do with dead family members clothing can be difficult for some people. I would have tried to remember that this was probably something that was valuable to her and taken it as a compliment even though it may have felt odd. Since you were spending the night with her daughter she may have felt a connection to you that you didn't, or have been trying too hard to be nice.

Zari

[Bernice]

Indeed, disposing of my mother's personal belongings is a major challenge. Her only instructions were for us #1 not to fight over her stuff, and #2 to not have "a garage sale". So, I have 400 sq feet of storage full of her stuff, costing me $260/month to store, while I figure out how to not have a garage sale, and not just end up throwing most of it away.

FWIW, I thought about e-Bay, but I've since learned that e-Bay has taken all the profit out of it for small-time sellers.

So, giving her clothes away seems like the right thing, really, even though some are really nice. Most of her clothes were way too small for me, and way too small for my SO, at least right now. So, no offense intended - please - , any size 10-14W people on our special forum want to have a look through her clothes? Or perhaps her shoes/purses/hats/belts? PM me.

Hugs,

Bernice

[Pat]

Bernice, Don't you have op-shops (Opportunity shops) run in your area, by either church or charity groups where the clothing can be donated ??

[Diannna]

Well, I would have to say that the gesture was nice. However, there are those of us out there that "knowing" that the clothes were of some one deceased, would be a turn off. I know that when my younger brother died, I had offered his western and motor cycle boots to my brother-in-law who I knew wore the same size. He politely told me that he couldn't come to wearing dead man's boots. It kind of hit me a little but then I pondered it for a bit and could understand. I gave everything to the GoodWill and Salvation Army.

[April Rose]

Bernice, Have you tried Craigslist? Its a much better alternative for small time local sellers. I sold my motorcycle that way, and it was a snap. It's completely free, too. Just google Craigslist.

[Absaroka]

After my father died I wore some of his clothes for a long time. I kind of liked doing so. I don't see what the problem is wearing dead peoples clothes, and in some cases would consider it an honor.

Zari