Jessie wrote:I usally have a little note always in my pocket with size numbers on it and sometimes look at when I am in the womans department (or I did when I first stated shoping) I would often refer to a costumer or the employ if they can help because I could not figure out what all these numbers ment.
Jessie
Hey this is a great idea. I'm going to try this.
In the past when i wanted to buy a pair of tights (pantyhose)I went into a 24hr store, really late, when there were not many people about. Hid them in my basket under "normal" items and then paid for them at the self service till ( not sure if you have them in the US) This is where you ring up your own items and pay the machine with no cashier to negotiate.
Only problem is when the item does not scan. then a worker comes and does it for you. Tip. check the bar code is intact before launching yourself at the till.
Wish I could have more confidence and just buy the things I want without worry.
Ellie - yes, the "shopping list" paper is good when shopping when the sales person may come over or women shoppers might wonder why you are in a department. Some nice female customer may offer to help even.
For pantyhose, men can buy with more confidence - you can have a pair or two in the basket along with groceries and they'll just think the "Missus" asked you to do it - usually, it is not just tights, it can be feminine products if it is a real list.
So build your confidence - these days sales people want your money more than ever so if you're spending, they're supporting the purchase.
Jessie wrote:I usally have a little note always in my pocket with size numbers on it and sometimes look at when I am in the womans department (or I did when I first stated shoping) I would often refer to a costumer or the employ if they can help because I could not figure out what all these numbers ment. (I of course was lying to hide me being outed) now I often if I am shopping in the same store as I usauly do I look for same sales ladies as I often deal with and find it a lot more comftable.
Jessie
Now that's a good one! I'll remember that little trick!
One thing I'll do, if a store clerk has been helpful/understanding is grab a comment card on the way out and fill it out with a positive review of that employee and send it in, or do it online when I get home.
-Michelle-
"Inside me, there's a thin girl, screaming to get out, but cookies & ice cream usually shut her right up."
I once had the urge to buy a bra and matching panties so I went to a not so distant city and observed one lingerie store. When I saw no-one was in I phoned the shop and asked if they would help a man choosing bra and panties. The answer was positive and so I was helped getting the right size, she (the sales lady) even came to check when I was in the dressing room. At one moment her husband came in the shop for a brief moment which was somewhat embarrassing.(I guess it was only to show that she was not alone in the shop). I asked her help to find a matching panty and was also served in a most helpful way. I will always remember this wonderful experience.
My experience has been to be honest with the sales associates that it is for you and be a serious about purchasing something, and I have been treated well.
kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt
Site Administrator
I am a physically male person that likes to wear feminine clothes at times.
Just trying keep a balance for my self along with keeping my wife and kids in mind.
These days I must admit that I am pretty much up front, if anybody asks me about my purchases, whether its Bras, Panties, Earrings, Lipstick or whatever my answer is Yes, they are for me I and I like them thank you - end of story.
Jessica good line to use. And I agree they will conclude something they are able to deal with.
Pat I am up front also when shopping. I do not try to make a big statement that it is for me, but not shy about saying it up front either. I just shop comfortably and find that seems to make the SA's comfortable. I have found that walking around with two of the same outfit or several things and continuing to shop I am often asked if I need a room started. And male or femme mode does not seem to matter. Also I will ask for help and that will break in the comfort level. Hint to others, most SA's like to help. Sometimes I will say something like "I am looking for a top to go with a long denim skirt of mine". Can be interesting sometimes when the "mine" sinks in after a bit as can see the pause and mind set shift, then they just continue.
I also used the shopping list crutch early on. And you do not need sizes on your list. I would put on the list something like a " top to go with a denim skirt. Not red or yellow.'
Site Administrator
I am a physically male person that likes to wear feminine clothes at times.
Just trying keep a balance for my self along with keeping my wife and kids in mind.
Yet someone mocking can really be hard. I've been mostly lucky ... never had a comment directed right in my face. But have heard a few behind my back I thought were likely meant for me.
It hurts. I'd like to say it just rolls off my back (and jeepers, it should! what's the big deal?) but despite all my efforts it does rankle, and the effect can last for days. I have had to accept that I'm the sort of person who:
1 May say "What do I care?" but
2 Really, really internalizes harshnesses from other people.
So I'm stuck aching inside when people are rude, and keep hearing their voices in my mind until finally forgetfulness happens in three or four days when other impressions mostly erase it. So I'm happy to report that mockery almost never happens to me, and daily I'm grateful.
That shopping list dodge is a good one. But anyone who's really noticing will notice that the sizes are pretty darn large! And I do seem to have a need to be honest. So, theoretically at least: They're for me. Deal with it. (Bold words ...)
Bottom line: you're at the mercy of people who would rather mind your business than their own. Just remember they're acting out of their own fears and inadequacies, and tell yourself it doesn't say anything about you. (And if you can believe it, you're doing well.)
Your best defense is to learn to brush off the hurt as best you can, and leave it behind you in the dust. Hope you can do it better than I!
I do my shopping in the "big" city. I don't care what the clerk thinks, and for the most part if you are not a bother to them, they don't care either. If you want service it may be a different story. I know what I want, I get it, and I go. I have never been questioned or hassled by a clerk yet. On a humorous note, I remember once shopping for pantyhose, and some mental deffiecent women started to make a comment about a man buying pantyhose. I gave her a dirty look and moved off, and patiently waited until she was gone. No problem. I think that it is more fun buying clothes as a man, there is something more to it for me.
I ended up getting both along with 5 new pair of panties and 4 pair of socks to round it up to 150 so I got 50 off.
The Capri's are going to be my fav pair. They fit like a dream. Jeans I got tight. I normally wear size 22 and got 20 on both. They do help with the tummy, but not like Spanx or Regular old Girdle. But I do look trimmer.
I am not usually phased in paying for selected lingerie items and cosmetics.
Knowing comments from sales ladies are not offensive one was 'nylons and expensive hobby'. She had a knowing look and smile on her face when she said it, but certainly in no offensive manner. Another 'we do not usually find men purchasing these items'.
Many years ago I has an offensive comment from a till lady when purchasing panties, I felt I should have complained to the manager but did not have the courage to do so.
