Need ideas for where to go for a first time out dressed!

[Laura Bird]

Hey there,

So my wife managed to raid the Goodwill store yesterday while I was at work, and picked out a bunch of, what she calls, "wardrobe basics" to go with my new shoes and wig we picked up earlier this week. Then we stayed up until 3am mixing and matching all the different pieces. After going through everything, she did my makeup for the first time with the wig on - and all I could think to myself was "wow". I did not recognize myself! And I think I looked great! (Which is unusual for me...)

So the wife really wants to go somewhere tonight. I've only been out, dressed, once before (and that was for Halloween 2007 so it doesn't "count" the same.) To be honest, while on one hand it TERRIFIES ME TO DEATH, on the other, being all dressed up just kinda stinks when you've got nowhere to go!! I couldn't sleep very much last night and kept thinking about what it would be like to go out!

I definitely think I "pass" well enough (despite already being 6'1) but it will ALL be gone if and when I open my mouth, as I have a VERY deep voice. So really, I'd kinda like to avoid making DIRECT contact with people. My wife will be with me so I'll have some emotional security there (with me still being the provider of the physical security!)

We live in the Chicago area. My first thought was to maybe take a trip downtown and just stroll down Michigan Ave (this is all after dark.) It's lit enough for a thrill but dark enough to still disappear. But not sure how crowded it'll be. I thought about the mall (we're not too far from a nice, big, indoor mall) but am not really interested in the possibility of running into punk kids who spend their Saturday nights causing trouble there. I also thought of maybe an outdoor mall. A little darker, easier to kind of "blend in". My wife suggested the Baton Show Lounge (drag show in downtown Chicago) but I fear that audience could be full of people looking to poke fun at the girls on stage, last thing I need is to have a run-in with a bunch of drunk college kids. But then again, I've also never BEEN to a drag show, so I have no idea what to expect. The show itself is very highly rated.

Are there any well known, SAFE, CD friendly places to go on a Saturday night? Anybody have any suggestions? My nerves are going to be ALL over the place!

(Just an FYI - it HAS to be tonight, for several reasons: 1) my dad is taking our little guy for the night so we can have "date night", and 2) I'm off on business all next week so we want to go have fun tonight before I leave.)

Thanks everybody!!!!

Mandy

[Alice C]

They have a great drag show and is a friendly spot. Dont recall the address but its in the downtown area. Enjoy and look great

[Michelle Miller]

It's been my experience, attending a few drag shows here and there, that the folks making fun of the performers are FAR outnumbered by the ones cheering the stage performers on.

[Melyssa Anne]

I would suggest going to a movie....you don't really have to talk -- yoiur wife can order the popcorn and such, and you're in a crowd for just few minutes...if you talk inside the theater, you can whisper.

As far as voice goes, there are several sites out there to help you with your voice....its not about going falsetto, but instead training your voice to do something different. I highly recommend Melanie Phillips. I too have a very deep voice, but her methold workded for me,,,I've been out and about on a regular basis (1-2 times a week at a minimum) and have always passed. My wife says when we are out together. it feels like she is out with one of her girlfriends.

Good Luck and have fun!

[Lily]

I posted the same question. I would love to find a place I could go. I'm thinking of looking for a place out of town. Just in case.

[Absaroka]

My personal favorite is a walk in the woods by moonlight. The snow will help distribute the ambient light so you can see well. Or at twilight if that is more comfortable. Of course in the winter a different type of ensemble is required for this.

Zari

[Carol Ann]

Look if your wife 'THINKS" you will pass and you think so also just do it, hon we have all been to the first time out.

Why not try a nice out of the way restaurant and have a nice meal, I promice nobody will pay any attention. It only get easyer when you do it.

[Laura Bird]

Thanks for the suggestions everybody! We wound up taking MUCH longer than anticipated to pick up a few items for the outfit I wanted to wear (mostly because I wanted a pair of boots, and we spent probably 2 hours at Skyscraper Heels talking to the owner again.) Then, naturally, after all the running around we did to find specific pieces, I got home, we put it all together - and then I decided I didn't like how it turned out! I really wanted to feel comfortable and feel confident I looked good, and after all was said and done, my outfit idea just didn't pan out like I'd hoped. I was trying for this "look" I'd spotted on a few women over the last few days - snug black turtle neck sweater, soft grey/black checkerboard cotton skirt (just above the knee), black tights, black boots. But the combo just didn't seem to come together right.

We eventually got it together (ditched the boots for a strappy pair of heels, ditched the tights altogether, and a slight change on the shirt) and made it out in time to catch the start of the midnight show at the Baton Lounge female impersonators show. The performance itself was pretty entertaining (and some of the performers were so good it was hard to believe they weren't actually born females!) and we had fun. My nerves calmed down about halfway through the show to where I was able to relax and enjoy myself. My wife kept telling me, "You look tense... relax!" even though at that point, I thought I *was* relaxed! I guess I really need to work on some poses or whatever, to figure out how to sit and look relaxed and still look like a female. But it was definitely FUN! I think the first big "thrill" was when we were taken to our table, with a, "Follow me, ladies!" and then a "So-and-so will be around to take your drink order... you ladies have a good time!" Ladies. Hah! Fun!

I do have a few pictures of myself... I'm debating posting them to the Gallery. We also came up with a better, more fitting name for me, so I gotta figure out how to change that here, too.

But thanks again for the advice! We'll definitely need to make our way out again... maybe in a few weeks. I'll plan my outfit ahead of time next time though so we don't spend half our evening cycling through clothes!

[Virginia]

Hi Mandy,

Glad you were able to get out and get that first one "uder your belt." It does become a bit easier each time, but the thrill never seems to go away.

By the way ------ did you learn anything?? Do not! Do not! ever dissparage your wife when she seems to take forever to get ready to go out!!! You got a bit of a taste of what GG's go through now, so as most SO's will say. "deal with it!!!"

Keep the faith, dear

Virginia

[Laura Bird]

Hi Mandy,

Glad you were able to get out and get that first one "uder your belt." It does become a bit easier each time, but the thrill never seems to go away.

By the way ------ did you learn anything?? Do not! Do not! ever dissparage your wife when she seems to take forever to get ready to go out!!! You got a bit of a taste of what GG's go through now, so as most SO's will say. "deal with it!!!"

Keep the faith, dear

Virginia

Hahahaha LOL! YES! Actually, I think she will agree we BOTH learned lessons here!

I definitely learned NOT to give her grief over taking so long to get ready. And she learned what it's like to be on the other end of the indecisiveness over what to wear, since this time around, she knew exactly what she was going to wear from the get-go, and I took my sweet backside time. It was probably a lot worse for her since she still has to help me on top of getting herself ready. She did all my makeup (and did a KILLER job at it), plus offers up advice on putting the outfits together, etc.

[MsJoann]

Check you locality for TG support groups and their meetings. You will feel welcome there.
Anothrer idea is check your local gay bars. Ask around and you may find that most are friendly towards TGs. Both work for me.

[Mány B]

Hi Mandy,
I read your writings on your day out. It must have been wonderful and very tense. I was especially surprised to hear that the Baton Lounge still exists. It must have been almost 18 years since I have been to the show there, I loved it and was equally surprised by the performers feminine appearance. Your writings brought back that memory, thank you!