Hi Dante. Uhm, don't forget the term transgender was invented by crossdresser Virginia Prince, she who formed the Society for the Second Self (TRIESS) because she thought the term transvestite in common use at the time was demeaning to CDs as she understood them.
The term was co-opted by the politically activist GLB as an umbrella for all who wanted to dress up to try to add to their numbers, donations and political action. They have mostly had a hard time understanding the difference between being gay and being transgendered and transsexual, mistaking the trans desire to wear womens clothes as a kind of queer and supressed gay-ness.
People who are transgendered under the old use of the term are primarily straight people, mostly men, who like (for one reason or the other) to dress like a woman. Women who like to dress to potray men are often called "drag kings" even though they may not do drag. and some would fit them in under lesbian or gender queer. I think such folks as yourself could just be considered transgendered, in the sense that you like to crossdress.
The people who wish to make their minds match their bodies through surgical modifications are transsexuals. You are very correct that there are considerable differences in motivations between TG and TS. For TS just dressing up doesn't do at all. I and others can be happy in the evenings at home dressed in a sweat or T shirt (dependng on season), with or without a bra (usually without --you get tired of one all the time. I can also dress for special purposes, going out, going to the symphony, or out to dinner, but am relieved to take them off. The key is that I see these as my correct clothing. There have been/are people on this forum who have begun as crossdressers, then later discovered they are other than that and have transitioned and are preparing for surgery, or not
On the other hand, drag queens are performers, portraying specific women for purposes of entertainment in costume. When the performance is over, they take off the costumes and go join their gay friends and partners as males.
I have known of a few TS who tried drag for awhile, as a means of helping to obtain extra money for surgery, but wound up spening all their money earned on new costumes, and stopped. Several have told me they saw the difference between themselves and drag performers, because when they finished, they put on female street clothes and had a few drinks before going home. Their personal identities were female, not gay males.
There was an ironic joke in the circles I was part of: What's the difference between a CD and a TS? Answer, about 5-10 years. That is not so true as many happy (more or less) cders on this forum could tell you, but people learning who they are here and continuing to transition does happen.
To make things more confusing, the term Transgenderists is often used to describe, not terribly accurately, a person who wishes to live as a woman but retain their male anatomy, and there is the analog among women who live as men without surgery or counseling. Some people consider these folks as Non-op, meaning there is no intent to have surgery, but also lump into the term those who are unable to have surgery for financial/health reasons but want the surgeries. I guess the difference is between the intent..... maybe?
Ah well, so many humans exposed to the scientific technique of classifification, of biology, elements and other things including behavior in an attempt to understand it. People love to split hairs and argue about it..... To name it is to grasp it and give you the opportunity to understand. Often doesn't work where people are concerned.
I would hope that you have looked into yourself and determined who you are, a woman who likes to protray guys, or a man in a woman's body? Or something else?
Carolynn
"It’s not given to anyone to have no regrets; only to decide, through the choices we make, which regrets we’ll have,"
David Weber – In Fury Born
