Media and Society

[Danielle La Belle]

Hello Girls:

Never one to shy away from controversy, a recent television episode of the popular NBC series,. “Law and Order”, portrayed the life of a wealthy individual as a “cross dresser”, “transvestite,” “bi-sexual,” social-aggressive personality. A take-off on the life of a wealthy, recluse, real-life New York State resident that was known for “cross dressing” and was thought to be involved in a homicide the past three years.

Never the less, guilty or innocent, the television show clearly was inflammatory, centering on both the mans sexual behavior (male lovers and a previous marriage to a [gg]) and his manner of dress. My spouse and I rarely discuss such matters as it is not in her personality to do so. No comparative input from that side of the street.

So, what do you think? Does the media, press, etc., play to the common heterosexual majority and demonize the TG family? Perhaps, using a minority as a scapegoat for what bedevils society in general and what squarely places upon “our” shoulders, the social responsibility to rectify this impression when and where possible.

If we as a culture, can be so easily demonized, what is to stop the media/press from selecting other groups for such creative social control. Rather than a bitch-session, see if we can be original and present solutions that are both practical and applicable to societies current state of affairs. A “class” assignment. Think and then think again!

Hugs

Danielle La Belle

[Alexandra]

Does the media, press, etc., play to the common heterosexual majority and demonize the TG family?

YES!

solution? make our own movies.

[Beauty]

Hi Danielle,

I agree with Alexandra on both counts.

I will say that the last 48 Hours show was the best one I've seen when it came to talking about and portraying TG'd issues. There was education instead of outrageous pictures. It was very classy and the TS woman they interviewed was very respectable. The young TS boy they interviewed was also very welll done.

So, I think things are sloooowly changing.

Beauty

[Danielle La Belle]

Hello girls:

I remember the "48 hours" show, Beauty, and yes I agree that they did a good job of representing our TG family. For my contribution, I am the principal editor for the "Transgendered" category in the Netscape supported, Open Directory Project...http://www.dmoz.org.

As an editor on this project, I insure that Adult material does not get entered into the classic database of our search engine. That area is provided in many schools and libraries. I apply the organizations policy and procedures to each submitted web site to determine the qualifications for the search engine. Unlike Google, and Yahoo, we have no one paying for placement in the search engine and therefore, no one enterprise controls any specific category for profit.

Hugs

Danielle

[Lorna]

So, what do you think? Does the media, press, etc., play to the common heterosexual majority and demonize the TG family?

Oh boy, do they ever!

I can't tell you how many shows on TV have portrayed CDs as nothing more than sexual DEVIANTS... the show most notorious for this... JERRY SPRINGER. :evil:

But then again, Springer will bring out the lowest of the low from every walk of life. We all know that not every urban resident lives in the ghetto, and not every rural resident lives in a trailer park. Just as it goes w/o saying that TG folks are not the nasty, self-absorbed, dirty-living WHORES that appear on his show.

Sad thing is is that too many people buy into that nonsense. An intelligent person would know not to look upon trash TV as an educational source. If people want to be educated via television about us, why don't they turn on 20/20 instead?

[Josey]

Hi Y'all,

I too saw the Law and Order that is referred to. It made me cringe. While I do realize it was loosely based on a true story, it still takes those who are not educated and leads them in the wrong direction.

The problem as I see it (and I am guilty of this also), so much of what we do is hidden from all, it is very hard for us to get out the true story. Of course, our hiding is owed to the general opinion already out there. What we are looking at is a classic viscous circle. The only answer to break the circle is positive action - one suggestion has already been made - make our own movies or get our people into the movie making business. Of course, movies are no good if they are not accepted and ones with this as a subject would probably be put in the corner with Deep Throat!

[Danielle La Belle]

A litle fuel for the fire.

["My name is Bubba, friends just call me Bub. I drink budweiser, watch football, go hunting in the Fall for Bambi's mother, and you all' are crazy! You won't catch me in the shower at the YMCA any more. Heck, I might just consider shooting you all on sight! Why should I change my ways about how I feel about you, you....perv...you know what I'm thinkin'.

What do you do for society but make trouble and act different! Why should I tolerate you when I can barely tolerate my own kids! We have ways of takin' care of you girlly guys! Don't bother comin' around my neighborhood, ya'll might just not make it home".]

What could you possibly say to this person that would change his mind about whom we are? Is there anything that can be said? Are these people just lost to society in general? Perhaps even just lost within their own mental boundaries.

Forget about winning over the educated ones, they represent about 20% of society, 80% is high-school and less. That is where the meat and potatoes are!

Burn baby burn... Turn up the heat....Bambi!

Hugs

Danielle

[Alexandra]

<devil's advocate mode on>

Ahem . . . when Danielle made her first post, I hadn't seen the L&O episode in question yet (she's EST, I'm PST). But now that I've seen it, IMO I don't think it was that bad. It wasn't good either, but at least the plot and story line had a reason for her to be a crossdressed, or rather, wearing women's clothes.

</DA mode>

But Danielle is still correct, by and large, we're being exploited both on the big screen and the small screen as well as in the media.

I thought I'd mention my favorite TG movie that portrays us in a POSITIVE manner: "Different for Girls" (there was a part in the movie where I thought things were implausable, but I'm just being picky).

Anybody else with a fav?

[Alexandra]

Of course, movies are no good if they are not accepted and ones with this as a subject would probably be put in the corner with Deep Throat!

Actually Josey, people making a TG or CD feature film would have an advantage -- an existing genre to market the film to: the TLBG market. There is a couple dozen gay film festivals that would accept a decent TG/CD film, not to mention the film would also be eligible for the mainstream film festivals too, and with any luck, a buyout from Miramax.

Of course, if you make porn, yes, it'll go into the porn bin.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Alexandra,

I haven't seen Different for Girls; I'll be sure to look it up. Is that the one about the two childhood friends who hook up after many years, following one's SRS?

Ones I have seen and enjoyed are Just Like A Woman (despite the glaring impausibility of its dénouement) [http://www.tvguide.com/Movies/database/ ... p?MI=36208], Ma vie en rose (My Life In Pink) [http://www.sonypictures.com/classics/mavieenrose/], and Le sexe des étoiles (The Sex Of The Stars) [http://www.tvguide.com/Movies/database/ ... p?MI=36626]. Okay, so the latter isn't Oscar material, but the fact that it was shot right here, in my home town, gives it an extra star, in my eyes.

What all these films have in common is their attempt at taking gender issues seriously (even within humourous contexts). Merely on that basis, they're to be both commended and recommended.

Just to address Danielle's question regarding the possibility (or impossibility) of saying something to change a prejudiced person's mind about gender variance, the answer is "no, there's nothing we can say that will make such a person change his mind." However, there's much we can do (and suggestions have already been made above); one of the best things we can do, is to remain ourselves, to show that we don't fear censure because of who we are, to be open and tolerant ourselves, to preach by example, in other words. People's prejudices are often born of ignorance and the best way to dispell that ignorance is not to pontificate (as I'm doing right now ) but to be willing to let your own life serve as an example of what it can mean to be both transgendered and a decent person.

Love,
CJ

[Alexandra]

CJ, yes, it is about the two childhood friends. There is a sex scene in the movie that was very tastefully done -- impressive and quite the positive portrayal of a TG person.

Other movies, like The Crying Game, TGism is rather secondary to the story.

I may have to re-review some of the movies you mentioned . . I think I've seen some of them, but frankly don't remember much about them.

You also said: "no, there's nothing we can say that will make such a person change his mind."

I'm gonna agree with you on that almost completely even though there are those who say it can be accomplished with patience.

[CJ]

Yes, true, but it's a patience that unfortunately seems to require more than any one person's life expectancy would allow. You can debate endlessly with a bigot, but both bigot and adversary are silent in the cemetery.

Love,
CJ

[Danielle La Belle]

Hi ya girls:

On average, people get about 25,500 days to expereince the "material world." Yes, some live longer and some live less. No guarantee on any life cycle. Our space suit has a limited warranty, ha ha LOL.

So with this timeline in mind, perhaps we would be better off in spending our time on those that seem to be more open minded, just not on our side of the fence completely. Winning them over might be easier and for the most part, more practical considering our limited life cycle.

Perhaps, the "bigot" is just there to remind us of our individuallity, and to insure a little chaos in everyones life. I like to think that everyone can change but that is really not very realistic. My spouse is a Hatfield-McCoy type and after 35 years, I can say reasonably that people with this personality are genetic in nature, so it is not a matter of just changing their conscious mind. Rather, it would take a major break-through in science and then, would we have the right to change people just because we did not like their politics etc.

Better to have the bigot than to have "big brother" manipulating the existing "throw of the dice" system that we have now.

Hugs

Danielle

[Loretta Ann]

Hi Danielle.

You make some very good points. The only time I have seen any one willing to change is when there back is against the wall, and they cannot escape. I think that is what is responsible for the higher degree of maturity among most cross-dressers. People just don't seem to be interested in change, because change for most is painful.
I think there needs to a line for every one of us as to how much time we focus on trying to get others to change, and how much time we put aside to enjoy the blessing we all seem to treasure so highly. One can spend their life trying to change others and miss out on what life has to offer us.

I want to enjoy the blessings that the gift of cross-dressing provides as much as I can in the time that I have left to enjoy it.

Respectfully.
Darlene.

[Danielle La Belle]

Change can be painful or embraced. My family has always lived fairly close in proximity to one another. I on the other hand moved several times and have been pretty much away from the homestead. I have always believed that where "my" family was with me, that is home. But, in reality, I have just always done what appeared to be necessary from my point if view. I am still by and large, one that finds change painful.

My father never moved more than 8 city blocks from his mother. My mother on the other hand, moved 500 miles to live with my father the past 60 years. People give up things for an asortment of reasons. All being good at the time for the most part I think.

Pain is a perception, but, setting aside the philosophy, it shows up from time to time in my life. Like others, we just cope with it.