How long is it with cross-dressing do you become FEMININE

Kittie · Post by **Kittie** » Sun Apr 11, 2010 8:33 am

I have cross-dressed for more than a year or two now but now have that feeling of being a female captive in a male package and wanting to get out. It is hard to say how e.g. a need for female form in places as well as boobs. I even sometimes try to "hide certain organs" with tight lingerie. I have certainly increased feminitity as time goes on with a desire for more. I would love to hear others views

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Sun Apr 11, 2010 10:55 am

I've been doing it since I was 8 and now I'm in my 50's. Also I've done it a lot for the last 6 years. And it hasn't happened yet. I'm a guy, I like being a guy, and want to stay a guy. I CD because I am a guy.

On the other hand over the years I've become more comfortable with my choices of clothing, i.e. I'm no longer shocked that I like to wear a dress. And I've discovered that wearing a casual skirt and top is a shorthand for me for something, I don't know what. Call it some sort of freedom or relaxation.

There are those, a small percentage, for whom crossdressing is a beginning step towards gender reassignment. It's something that gets talked a lot about in this forum. It's perhaps important to distinguish this from what some of us call "letting our girl out" which is getting in touch with the masculine/feminine duality that most people have, what Jung called the anima/animus and others call the ying and yang of gender.

However whatever it is that this allows you to discover about yourself, it is hopefully who you actually are, and is hopefully a joyful discovery.

Zari

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:44 pm

Some people never really feel femme. It's about wearing clothes, not being femme. For others it is a welcome relief from the stressors of the job, week or whatever, to temporarily become another person. Then there are some people who are able to "vibe" femme even if they are not dressed, it's just a matter of slipping into a mental frame that exists within. Others come across as truck drivers in dresses despite the frocks they may wear.

As far as the peeps that use cding as a waypath to transition that Zari mentioned, that happens too with some regularity. There used to be a joke among cds, "What's the difference between a CDer and a TS? Answer, about 5 years." But the relative outward acceptance now of folks who cd has presented a place of comfort far short of transition that many find satisfactory. Some few have to go further, and live as their target gender without surgery and with limited body modification, and there are some who are basically preop TS with many modifications short of genital surgery.

If you are feeling gender confusion, then seeing a therapist (for depression rather than gender confusion for insurance purposes to avoid repercussions and embarrassment) about how you feel can help you find the path for you. You do have to be frank (or Edith if you prefer) with the therapist, but that's what they are there for and have already heard about everything you can come up with any way.

Good luck.

Carolynn

Post by **DonnaT** » Sun Apr 11, 2010 2:35 pm

Absaroka wrote:I've been doing it since I was 8 and now I'm in my 50's. Also I've done it a lot for the last 6 years. And it hasn't happened yet.

Same here, except I started around 10 yrs old.

Gillian · Post by **Gillian** » Tue Apr 13, 2010 1:34 pm

The question of how far do I go has been asked of myself dozens of times over the years. The pendulum swings back and forth and to me the question was where is that middle ground, the ground where everything is at rest. Only you can answer that for yourself. The comment of what is the difference between a CD and a TS is an interesting one. My questions have been asked within my head for approx 35 years. Sometimes after my question asking, I have gone deeper into dressing, only to back up and reavaluate where I was going. So what about today, I am basically an underdresser. My SO and I have an understanding and I move freely within the scope of that realm. Yes, I do push the limits occasionally, but isn't that basic human nature. Captian Kirk said it best, "to boldly go where no man has gone before". Truth is, on this Forum, we have in degrees, "been there, done that, and got the Cami".

Lydia · Post by **Lydia** » Tue Apr 13, 2010 1:52 pm

There is a curious answer to this question in a recent movie. We saw a preview of a new Kevin Klein flick:"The Extra Man". The young protagonist in this movie is an occasional crossdresser with strong urges to become as feminine as possible. When he finally achieves his ambition, with the aid of a professional make-over artist, he discovers that when he is "feminized" he strongly feels male. A conundrum!

I wonder if any real-life CD's feel this way? I know that in my case that is not so. I sure don't feel macho when dressed en femme. I "think" I feel feminine, but how am I to really know what it is to actually be a woman?

It's a good movie, by the way, and Kevin Klein is at his best playing a very complex character. Some hilarious scenes.

Hugs,

Lydia

Andrea Elise · Post by **Andrea Elise** » Sun Aug 15, 2010 7:20 pm

I keep saying that I am a mix of female and male.

I can't possibly "know" what it is like to be female other than in my imagination. I have been wondering about acclimatization in the respect of is there, really, a female feeling? Or is it just simply the way I feel best.

Like a man who has never dressed as a woman wondering what it is like to be a cross dresser.

Maybe it is just how we are. Maybe it is just being complete.

A woman wondering what that akward feeling is like of having that male stuff mashed by an inconvenient leg crossing manuver.

And having breasts might be just as annoying as the above.
As best I can figure, I have a female mind that runs on diesel, surgery is painful and I usually hate mirrors. But....I love female clothing and I love how it looks, feels and makes me feel!

If it makes our lives better, easier and happier. I think that is the key.

Andrea (Diesel)

DanteCarrie (FTM) · Post by **DanteCarrie (FTM)** » Tue Aug 17, 2010 5:22 am

hhhmmm i have moods you know. go through times of wanting to be more masculine and times of having a urge to make my self more beautiful in a female way. so no i don't think i have this progression towards masculinisation to wanting to become a man. maybe sometimes i feel ike a boy in a girls body but hes happy there and other times i realise I'm actually very fem and girly so just moods really

Dolores(GG) · Post by **Dolores(GG)** » Wed Aug 18, 2010 7:06 pm

Lydia, I'll have to see that movie. Curiously, my SO has mentioned that very same paradox- feeling more masculine at times when in CD, so it happens.

Anthony Simon · Post by **Anthony Simon** » Mon Apr 25, 2011 7:48 am

This is a complicated subject (for me). I have this urge to be a woman. I guess you'd say that this is a TS urge, except I think it derives from a wish that I was a woman rather than any true sense that I am. The complicated bit is between how far I am a woman and how far I am a man. There's a lot of woman in me for sure. When I dress up, I can feel myself getting more feminine as I go along. And when I'm dressed up I do feel myself as female (sort of), in the sense of merging with the face and the form I've given myself and my movements and gestures change along those lines. But this goes in and out. And that can even be from moment to moment. I can see something similar in my face, but this tends to be more stable. Lately, when it works, the thing has a more cohesive sense - like a true persona is forming.

As I've progressed with this, in this lot of dressing up, I think my face has in general become more feminine - so like I'm basically going in the feminine direction in general.

On the other hand there is a part of me that rather enjoys kybboshing the whole thing. Like I've got this great big grin, which simply isn't a woman's grin - and when it comes on my face it just wrecks the whole thing. When I've been to CD shops that grin (or the sense of humour behind it) has come out a couple of times. I think somehow this relates to Kevin Klein role above. When I was 9 and played Titania in a school play, they got me all dolled up and (apparently) convincing. But then I was walking about without any underpants, which if I'd gone on like that (I didn't) would rather have destroyed the illusion. I think this is maybe me going "Yes I enjoy dressing up and all that stuff, but I'm still a man."

Maybe that why you get people dressed up who also strut about in masculine way.

Davita · Post by **Davita** » Mon Apr 25, 2011 8:59 am

I'm not sure it's so much of a question of feeling more fem or needing to be more fem. Rather, it could be more able to accept one's self, more able to partake of the need, more understanding of your inner self, etc. Myself, once I got to relax, then I started feeling more fem -- I was allowed to feel that way. I think the big swing for me was once I started getting out and started coming out. So to answer the question, the big move was Halloween 1999.

Michelle Miller · Post by **Michelle Miller** » Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:42 am

My experience has swung in several different directions, from the beginning, when it was a sexual-turn on, to glitz, beads & sequins, via the influence of hanging out with my drag queen friends, to all manner of expressions in between.

I think a lot of it for me was to conform to a preconceived notion that I had an image I was 'supposed' to present, given a certain situation. I'd like to think I've gotten past that, and say that I do what I do because it's enough to satisfy the urge/need/desire to dress en'femme, in much the same manner it is that compels other folks to jump out of perfectly good airplanes, or off bridges with a giant rubber band tied to themselves. It makes sense to me, in that there's a part of me that enjoys it, and doesn't have to justify it to anyone else.

Honestly, nowadays, I'm just as happy in a pair of flared jeans, a t-shirt and flats as I am in an evening gown, dolled up to the nines.

Martina · Post by **Martina** » Mon Apr 25, 2011 11:17 am

I sometimes feel confused about this as well. I woke up this morning wishing I was a woman but for the past couple of weeks I was feeling very masculine. I am hetro sexual but sometimes have fantasies, especially in the waking moments, that I am a woman been taken by a man in the missionary position. Although I have never courted it or behaved feminine in public I have attracted the attentions of gay men. I have experience of been protective of women in uncertain/risky situations but I would love to be a little wife who always wears pretty frocks and will take a spanking from hubby for been too independant. I am involved in macho activities but also have a chest of drawers full of lingerie and panties so frilly only a cancan dancer would wear them. I was fooling around with some friends yesterday and I was the only male who could skip. Both the women and men were very impressed and some said I was in touch with my feminine side. I was wearing pink panties at the time. Tonight I will sleep in a nightie and girly panties but in the morning I will go to work in my macho jeep and do my male job then return home and change into a skirt. It's all very confusing. My mother is tiny and I am smaller than the average woman even my sister is taller than me. I have had a girlie bottom all my life and sometimes I wonder if I have more than a normal amount of female in me. But from day to day I have different experiences of about how feminine I feel or not.

Paula G · Post by **Paula G** » Mon Apr 25, 2011 2:53 pm

Generaly I have to say I agree with Absaroka, like her I have been cross dressing for over 40 years, on and off. As I have matured there is a significantly smaller sexual side to my dressing, and I get more and more joy from just going out dressed and interacting with other people. However unless it could be arranged as a painless instant and reversable process I have no desire to become a woman, I enjoy being a man, it's just that sometimes I like to behave like a woman. The feelings are confusing, and I suspect that if you have been supressing these feelings for soem time, then they must be even more confusing, but only you can know your own situation, we are all different

JoAnnDallas · Post by **JoAnnDallas** » Thu May 12, 2011 3:42 pm

I am going on 64 and have been dressing off/on sense I was about 7-8 years old. Sense 2005, I have started going out in public, told my wife, and joined Tri-Ess. When my wife asked where this was all going, I decided to ask a counselor. I was directed to one from my Tri-Ess sisters. They told me that if anyone could help me with that question she could. So I now have had a few sessions with her and discovered that I do want to take it to a higher level. Even my wife has had a couple of sessions to try and understand too. How far will I go? I don't really have an answer. I do know that prior to 2005, you asked me these questions, I would have said, "NO, NO, NO". There are not Yes/No, Right/Wrong answers. This is a journey that each of us have to figure out for ourselves.