Enlightening my colleagues--formally!

[CJ]

Hi all,

Well, it was coming sooner or later: I approached my boss in order to ask him to allow me to give a small, hour-long lecture to the entire staff (about forty people) regarding transgender and genderqueer identities at one of our monthly staff meetings next fall. He agreed and, in fact, thought it was a great idea.

There are a couple of reasons I saw the need to do so. First, we've had guest speakers at our meetings before, mostly from the medical community, to talk to us about such subjects as mental illness recovery models, schizophrenia and higher education, pharmacotherapy and traditional herbal medicine, zootherapy, Eastern spiritual practices, intervention with people suffering from borderline personality disorders, therapy through gardening and plant-tending, etc., etc. I told my boss that, with the growing pressure from the transgender community to have transgressive gender identities depathologized in the next edition of the DSM, the time was ripe for raising a little awareness amongst ourselves (i.e., the employees at my workplace). Again, he agreed.

The second thing is that I find it striking that, even amongst ourselves--people who've been working for a long time in the mental health field--there seems to still be so much ignorance regarding the transgender fact; some of my colleagues have no clue what difference there is between a crossdresser and a transsexual. I aim to fix that. My boss thought that, too, was a good idea.

Finally, in a slightly more personal vein, I'm not convinced that, insofar as they know me, my colleagues truly believe I'm an adequate representative of the MtF CD population. Only one (out of forty) has ever hung out with me while I was dressed and, of the rest, only about half have ever seen photos of me (or, rather, of "CJ"). I aim to fix that, as well. Because I'm fairly well-adjusted ("fairly" being the operative word, here), and because I have no real hint of femininity about me in my daily life--aside, of course, from my personality, which many believe does exhibit a marked femininity)--my colleagues, I think, may be unaware of the deep pain that is always wanting to roil up beneath the surface, of the constant and unavoidable struggle to just be who I am... a person who is only occasionally the person they believe me to be.

When I got the green light from my boss, I went ahead and announced to the whole gang last week at the monthly meeting that I'd be "enlightening" them on this subject at the October meeting in a few months. The first question I was asked by one of my more colourful (and delightfully madcap) colleagues was: "What's the dress code for this meeting?" General hilarity ensued. "Hey, you can come dressed as a woman--it'd be fun to see you looking feminine," I told her. More hilarity.

Seriously, though, I think this is going to be interesting. Already, right after the meeting, people came up to me to express their interest. On the way home later that afternoon, I thought of our very own Elizabeth's "Psychology 101" thread here on the forum and how she also helped spread the word about the nature and, yes, normalcy, of the transgender fact to students of human behaviour in a formal setting. Hats off to you, girl.

One thing I'm thinking of doing is plucking, gleaning, and collecting little excerpts from posts on this forum (no names, of course) in order to give my colleagues a sense of the inner experience--both lofty and sad--of crossdressers and other transgendered individuals. With your permission, of course. I'd take every step to preserve people's anonymity, natch.

What do you all think? Also, is there anything in particular you think I should bring up in the course of this little talk (aside from the usual basic facts)? Let me know.

Love,
CJ

[CharLee]

Hi CJ,

I too, along with a few girls from my group are doing a similar thing here at the local college. We are making presentations to the students of Professors who teach a course in Human Sexuality in the fall semester to further educate them on our plight in everyday life.

I have a few pamphlets that help explain about who and what Crossdressers are that I can send to you if you would like to help you address your fellow workers. If you would like them just E-Mail me your mailing address and I will send them to you.

In any event, good luck in your endeavor in educating your co - workers.

[CJ]

Hi CharLee,

Kudos to you for spreading the word.

Thanks for the offer but I already have a lot of info I've downloaded from TG sites about how to organize presentations on transgenderedness. I'm currently working at translating some of the printed info I'll be passing around. Although most of my colleagues are functionally bilingual, there are more French speakers than English speakers in the lot so I'll be doing this mostly in French. But, again, thanks. I appreciate it.

Love,
CJ

[DonnaT]

Sounds like a plan.

No objections from me on using anonymous excerpts from the forum. What's real is real.

But, inquiring minds want to know, are you going to dress for the occasion?

[CJ]

Hi Donna,

No, I won't dress. Not that I wouldn't want to (and not that any of my colleagues would object) but I'm giving this little talk at our head office, a place that also serves as an evening drop-in center for our clients and, while there normally aren't any clients there when we hold our monthly meetings, my boss asked me some time ago to avoid mixing my private life with the relationships I have with my clients. I'll respect that by not dressing for the occasion on the off chance that some clients, uh, drop in early.

Love,
CJ

[Leeza]

CJ, you can use anything I have posted.

I know you will make a very good presention.

Leeza

[Carolynn]

Hi CJ. Sounds as if it could be interesting. I have presented seminars in gender variation for several years now, and they are always well received. Mostly the audiences are psychology or future therapist students, though one class with three sections is in a health and wellness class setting. I find it fun to do.

Carolynn

[KimberlyS]

CJ I figure anything here on the forum in the open areas is public information. But do agree with leaving off the names.

Presenting to a group or a class is something I have wanted to do for a long time but I have not because my wife did not want me to do it. Well now I do not have her stopping me and that has given me even more reason to do it. I have contacted 2 professors so far to talk to their classes this coming fall term. I am looking forward to doing that and enlightening the students and the professors. I have already been enlightening the professors. They also seem to have no clue what difference there is between a crossdresser and a transsexual.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Wendae]

If I've posted anything you'd want to use feel free. It's a shame you can't present as CJ. Good luck!

[Robyn Katie]

Hi CJ,

You're free to use any postings of mine. Great opportunity!

Love, Robyn Katie

[Absaroka]

Feel free to use anything I've posted.

Have fun. Enlighten people.

Zari

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, CJ -

::Ahem:: Get that cigarette out of your mouth, girlfriend!! Gheesh, several hundred miles apart and I still know what you're doing!


Great idea on the enlightenment, hon, and I look forward to your report in October! Too bad that CJ herself can't give the presentation, but she can be there in photos!!

Don't forget to add input from the GG/SO's, too . . . we're all in this together, and to be fair you need to add the varying degrees of acceptance, participation, and, unfortunately, the rejection (of some!) SO's to this "other woman" in their relationship.

Feel free to call us for a chat and additional input, girlfriend.

Big hugs to Roxanne and yourself!!



- SL

[Anita]

Good work, CJ, and have fun doing it. You can use anything I ever posted if you want. I wish it weren't such a touchy subject concerning dressing to do work-related activities. That's just the way it is, though.

[Alana]

CJ,

You're welcome to use anything I've posted. I've thought about possibly doing a presentation at my place of business, but I don't know if I could do it. Most associates are not aware of my crossdressing, and I'm not really ready to out myself any more than I already am.

I wish you the best in your presentation. Please keep us informed as to results.

Alana

[CJ]

Hi all,

Thanks, everyone, for the show of support and the permissions to quote.

Despite the often serious nature of the subject (I mean, there is, after all, some suffering going on here), I'm going to try to keep some of my infamous brand of humour on hand. It's part of the culture at my workplace to joke around during the monthly meeting. This is the one occasion during the month where all of us manage to get together and catch up as well as hang loose with one another. The exception to this is when we have a guest speaker. The fact that the October guest speaker will be one of our own (namely, yours truly) will probably automatically inject some levity into the whole proceedings. My hope is that such levity will not overshadow the ultimate goals of the presentation, said goals being:

-- to give people a general survey of the transgender landscape, from the underwear fetishist to the stealth transperson;
-- to help dispel myths surrounding transgenderedness;
-- to help put transgenderedness in its social and sexual contexts;
-- to try to provide a picture as to what it might feel like, "from the inside," to be transgendered in this culture;
-- to distribute a list of information, support, and referral resources that are both local and national in scope;
-- to encourage people to join the movement to depathologize transgressive gender identities (this ought not to be too hard as we're pretty much all highly critical of the DSM in any of its incarnations, to begin with);
-- finally, to paint a portrait of possibilities for transgendered individuals, from being in healthy relationships all the way to holding political power.

Yes, SilverLady, dear, I won't forget to mention and include the SOs' highs and lows. This is where crossdressing is social. Our behaviour (and desires) as individuals do, indeed, affect others.

------------

I'll tell you where all this comes from, this wish of mine to present (no pun intended) gender presentation to my colleagues. In early February I got permission from my boss to start up a couple of classes on Friday afternoons (when there's nobody at work but the administrative assistant) where I aim to introduce those of our clients who are interested to the wonderful world of information and leisure technologies. Every second Friday, I offer a course on digital photography--from "Aspects of the Image" to "Understanding Your Camera" (including two photo safaris around town and a visit to an art gallery photography exhibit)--and every other second Friday (in hopscotching fashion), I offer a course on Audio-Visual materials and projects, including: how to download and transfer songs to an mp3 player (or even how to transfer your vinyl LP collection to your PC or mp3 player); how to edit photos and movies on your computer; what video games are (and, yes, how to play them); how to set up a home theatre (or, at the very least, how to connect your TV set to your sound system); how to upgrade a computer's hardware; etc., etc. This last course will end with a roundtable discussion, over a cup of steaming joe on an outdoor terrace somewhere, on the role and impact of these technologies in our lives and in society itself. The photo course will end with a "vernissage"/exhibit of the participants' best shots and for which we'll be sending out an open invitation. (As luck would have it, the day of the exhibit falls on the same day as my birthday.)

All this to say (and this is what I told my boss), I'm finding that I thoroughly enjoy teaching other folks about stuff that I know fairly well or am passionate about. Wanting to "teach TG" only seemed, to me, like a natural extension of this.

One thing I learned while doing these technology classes is that they nevertheless required a tremendous amount of organization and preparation, especially in regards to the distribution of printed materials. The presentation I'll be giving on TG is still five months away so I (think, hope, believe I) have a lot of time to prepare for it. Over the summer, I'll be sifting through the forum's pages for ideas and nuggets of wisdom and pain (and laughter and joy, too, of course).

Again, thanks for the permissions, y'all. I will make it discreet and anonymous. Anyway, I'll be looking mostly for the expression of feelings and ideas rather than events and situations so I doubt that anything I use may lead to anyone being inadvertently "de-anonymized."

I'll keep you posted as to how things are going and, natch, I'll let you all know how things went in October.

Love,
CJ