Using fitting rooms

[Steffie]

Hi girls,

I would like to share my experience with regard to dressing rooms.

Almost always when I go out, it is a positive experience. By most people I am usually treated as one of the girls. This also applies to shopping and being allowed to use the dressing rooms to try on clothes.

When I pick out stuff to try on, I always approach a sales lady and ask if I can use the fitting room first. They have always said yes in like 99% of the places I go. This is even true at most of the NY&Co stores in NJ, NY and the Carolinas. However the ONE EXCEPTION seems to be the NY&Co store at the Haywood Mall in Greenville, SC. Yesterday I asked the sales lady like I usually do and she led me to the dressing room to try on things. Well I was in there for about 1 minute when the manager knocks on the door and referred to me as sir and asked that I come out. She was kind of abrupt and said I would have to come back to the store to try on stuff when it was not so crowded. I did mention to her that the sales girl said I could use the dressing room and that I was transgendered. I also mentioned to her that I went to many other NY&C stores at other places (even in the Carolinas). She kind of ignored that though.

I did not let this ruin my day however In fact after this I proceeded to go to several more stores (Cold water Creek, Belk, Dillards, etc.) asked to use the dressing room and was allowed to use the dressing room in ALL cases. Macy's is especially nice and very transgender friendly. Out of all the stores, I would highly recommend them. This has always been true in Charlotte and Asheville also.

My outlook on this issue is never to get mad and not let this make me feel inferior that I am transgendered. My philosophy though is always ask first before using the dressing room. If they say yes, great! If they say no (like that one store at NY&Co) then I will not buy any merchandise from them. You would think nowadays with the economy so slow, stores would want your business? General they do but I guess certain stores like that NY&Co store at Haywood Mall do not. It cannot be the fact that it is in SC either as other stores there always let me use the dressing room after I ask. My transgendered friend in NJ says there is one NY&Co store there that does the same thing as this one in Greenville but I was never at that particular store. I choose to focus on the fact that most stores treat me as one of the girls and not on the fact that there are occasional "bad apple" stores.

Anyway thanks for reading.

Steffie

Steffie

[Vieja]

Well Steffie the few times that I have had to use a dressing room I have just walked in as there was no one around for me to ask permission. Most of the things I buy I don't need to try on and if it looks like I would need to ask permission I just walk away.


Vieja

[Kimberly Kael]

When dressed in drab I always used to ask if I could use the dressing rooms to avoid any surprises, and as Steffie stated the answer was almost invariably yes. The one time a sales associate was unsure I suggested she check with her manager and when she came back she had clearly been set straight; she couldn't have been more helpful. Now that I'm living as a woman I don't ask, but to me it feels socially appropriate and I haven't had any issues.

Steffie? Have you written to NY&Co corporate to let them know about your experience? I wouldn't be surprised if they were upset about the manager turning away business and opening them up to a discrimination lawsuit. I agree with you about taking my business elsewhere, but their corpoate office deserves a chance to set things right.

[PhylissH]

My experience has been quite similar, ask then when they say okay they usually show me to the dressing room. At 6'3 in flats I was a bit nervous the first time I tried things on, but the SA was very friendly and helpful. This was at a Khols in Florida, I have been to several others and found them to be very friendly as well. Once at Ross the SA lead me to the men's side of the dressing rooms, but they were quite busy and since both dressing rooms are next to each other I just smiled and said thanks. I now try go to the same places where I have had no problems, but I as I travel I do find myself in new places often. So far all the SAs have been very nice and helpful, sometimes even telling me which outfit looked better.

[Steffie]

Hi girls,

An update:

I went to the NY&Co store in Asheville yesterday. I found some cute skirts and tops on sale here. This store, like most of the other NY&Co's I have gone to, let me use the dressing room. It was crowded too. The only NY&Co store that is not nice is the one in Greenville, SC (from last weekend). They used the excuse last weekend that it was too crowded and I would need to come back on another day that it was not crowded. Interesting how this wasn't used an a excuse yesterday (when it was just as crowded as last week)? lol Just goes to show you can have nice people at some stores but not at others despite the policy of no men in fitting rooms. At least most stores consider us girls.

Steffie

[JoAnnDallas]

So far I have never had a problem using the ladies changing room. Then too most Thrift Stores have Unisex changing rooms.

[KimberlyS]

I have had no problems using the fitting rooms in male mode. In fact many times I have been asked if I wanted to try things on. Kind of freaked me out the first times it happened. I had to double check I was in male mode.

Only once I was asked once if I could come back later to try thing on as they were super busy in the fitting rooms. If they are that busy and I am in male mode I often will not ask to try on things unless it is something I really like and want to try on first. I had asked if they had a second fitting room I could try things on in as I knew they were really busy. She said they had a group in trying on things for something like a fashion show. She was very hesitant, then asked if I had some other shopping in the mall and if I could come back later. I said that would work and did some other shopping. I came back in a couple of hours and she had my things already for me to try on with a couple other other things also. She thanked me several times for coming back to try on things. And they were both super helpful and attentive. And I was glad I tried it on instead of just getting it as it did not look good on me and they agreed. But one of the things they had picked out I got instead.

But that said I was at VS once and they were really busy. A SA was helping me with push-up bras and I was hesitant on the size. She then asked if I wanted to try it on, but did not wait for an answer but said to follow her. She was already heading to the fitting rooms by the time I stammered out a yes and realized she was already heading back there. I about freaked as I entered the fitting room area seeing several GG's in there. They did not seem to care or notice. The SA already had a room open for me with the bras hanging inside. As she closed the door behind me she said to let her know if I needed a different size. I just stood there for a minute kind of freaking out as I could hear the chatter of the GG's in the other fitting rooms. I did not even get the first bra on before the SA came back to see if I was doing ok. One did fit and I still have that bra and love it. VS does make some nice push-up bras, they just do not work well with my forms.

I feel we have the right to try on things but not to interfere with their other customers and sales. If I am in guy mode I am not going to push to try on things and possible interfere with other customers. I have always asked if there is a place that I can try on things and let them decide if and where. I have always been allowed to try things on.

My experience has been to act like a serious shopper, be a serious shopper and be treated like a serious shopper. I will say that a couple of times early on that I did not ask to try on things as I could see the SA had that look about her. You know the one the "what in the hay are you doing in here" look. And I am sure some of it may of had to do with my lack of a comfort level.

Steffie I have the same attitude that you do. If they do not want me to try on things then I will just move on to the next place. So far I have been lucky and not had to move on.

[Kittie]

I shared this type of experience in my local Debenhams but they took me to a quiet fitting room

I have had no problems using the fitting rooms in male mode. In fact many times I have been asked if I wanted to try things on. Kind of freaked me out the first times it happened. I had to double check I was in male mode.

Only once I was asked once if I could come back later to try thing on as they were super busy in the fitting rooms. If they are that busy and I am in male mode I often will not ask to try on things unless it is something I really like and want to try on first. I had asked if they had a second fitting room I could try things on in as I knew they were really busy. She said they had a group in trying on things for something like a fashion show. She was very hesitant, then asked if I had some other shopping in the mall and if I could come back later. I said that would work and did some other shopping. I came back in a couple of hours and she had my things already for me to try on with a couple other other things also. She thanked me several times for coming back to try on things. And they were both super helpful and attentive. And I was glad I tried it on instead of just getting it as it did not look good on me and they agreed. But one of the things they had picked out I got instead.

But that said I was at VS once and they were really busy. A SA was helping me with push-up bras and I was hesitant on the size. She then asked if I wanted to try it on, but did not wait for an answer but said to follow her. She was already heading to the fitting rooms by the time I stammered out a yes and realized she was already heading back there. I about freaked as I entered the fitting room area seeing several GG's in there. They did not seem to care or notice. The SA already had a room open for me with the bras hanging inside. As she closed the door behind me she said to let her know if I needed a different size. I just stood there for a minute kind of freaking out as I could hear the chatter of the GG's in the other fitting rooms. I did not even get the first bra on before the SA came back to see if I was doing ok. One did fit and I still have that bra and love it. VS does make some nice push-up bras, they just do not work well with my forms.

I feel we have the right to try on things but not to interfere with their other customers and sales. If I am in guy mode I am not going to push to try on things and possible interfere with other customers. I have always asked if there is a place that I can try on things and let them decide if and where. I have always been allowed to try things on.

My experience has been to act like a serious shopper, be a serious shopper and be treated like a serious shopper. I will say that a couple of times early on that I did not ask to try on things as I could see the SA had that look about her. You know the one the "what in the hay are you doing in here" look. And I am sure some of it may of had to do with my lack of a comfort level.

Steffie I have the same attitude that you do. If they do not want me to try on things then I will just move on to the next place. So far I have been lucky and not had to move on.

[NieA]

Me I go to the mens, just because of the reason that I do not want to risk legal issues to arise out of it

[KimberlyS]

Me I go to the mens, just because of the reason that I do not want to risk legal issues to arise out of it

NieA, Always if I am in male mode, and usually while enfemme, I ask if there they have some place I can try things on. I let them decide. I have yet to be refused. If I was pointed to the mens fitting room I would go there. Only once I was asked if I could come back as the fitting rooms were really busy and I had no problem with that. But that said I was once taken into a busy VS fitting room and it was the SA that asked if I needed to try it on, but did not wait for an answer, just said to follow her. Talk about being freaked out suddenly being in a busy fitting room at VS with other GGs talking.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[NieA]

Well... thinking about it, almost always, I end up buying clothes when Im out on a department store coz em theyre less expensive... and at times there aint anyone really to help or ask.

and often too at times its shared i mean like hot topic and other smaller stores

Ive never really shopped at a store with 'just' womens stuff where in I had to fit it in. Hmmmmmm... wait, there was one time but this was when I was on a vacation somewhere in asia I mean I had to since im not familiar with womens sizes there. there was no compromise I mean where else would i fit it, but you get your own stall still

And dont you jsut hate that, I mean Large in asian doesnt freakin fit me but small here leaves some room even its... and I like a lot of asian clothes.

[Anouk]

When I visited Estonia with my wife we went to a womens store (me as male). First she took the fiitting room and soon after it I took another. Then I had a dress that I wanted her to try on so I threw it over the wall between the rooms. Our show was noticed and we felt the poor sales girls who had not accustomed in such behaviour got obviously embarrassed and started to observe us as sort of suspects.

In Finland and in Vienna I have had no probmlens with that. The only problem here is the other clients who could my students or collagues.

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

LOL.
I'm very against sexed changing rooms or bathrooms i think all should be unisex. not because of transgendered issues. I think the whole thing is archaic and sexist and homophobic. I mean what is it based on beyond a fear and suspision that women would be leered at by men or raped or something. The assumsion assumes that changing rooms and bathrooms would be open rather than cubicled.
All changing rooms should be cubilcled not open because even if its sexed changing room I don't want to be seen naked I don't care if they are all women like me and all straight they have no right yo see me in my underwear at the goddamn gym. My partner I have a rule that our bodies are for each other only this rule stands regardless of gender especially because I'm bisexual but he wouldn 't want anyone to see the good stuff.
So erm yeah I also don't think that men are going to perv on or rape me lol.
Also i feel very uncomfortable changing for swimming in the goddamn gym i had to go to when i was at school as the changing rooms were sexed so obviously I'm in the chicks one but open i.e. no cubicles i.e. just naked women everywhere. And they seem to all think if they are with other women then its AOK and chicks were just walking around with their breasts out. If i had been a guy I'd of been ahving a very serious crotch problem it was very weird.
This is why i think sexed changing rooms are both sexist homophobic and basically just really stupid. I.e. changing rooms at swimming parks where i get lost and seperated from my partner and had to look for him for half an hour cas the sexed changing rooms open in different places. what bollocks.
I use the changing rooms avilable. so if its a womens/mens store like soho i use the only changing rooms they have dito for quinnigins ahhh you gotta love goth shops and their uni sex changing rooms and all the men's and women's clothes in one room. bliss.
Erm the floor where its just men's in shops i change where i can they aren't going to refuse me if i want to buy a top there and those are the male changing rooms. what as if I'm going to walk all the way downstairs then back up.
Only time i had trouble was buying formal men's clothes for a ball and the sales assistant was older and gave me weird looks even though as was with my mum and all the women who had been chatting went quiet when i came in with my tux and after i got it on was showing it to my mum. the sales lady was offering help to other women but when we were loudly talking about the cravat being too big and she was just standing there she didn't help she didn't even make eye contact with us and knew all the women in there thought i was weird and probably thought my mum was a bad mum. Oh well they are all repressed deeply.

[LauraK]

Everytime I want to try something on in a store, I am in guy-mode. So I will ask a sales associate for permission. Usually, it is not a problem for me.

Some stores, such as Fashion Bug, have a separate area (room) with partitioned fitting rooms. I try to avoid this type of fitting room because I feel that the expectation in that area is that all persons occupying it are GG, and that a male in that area would cause a scene. Some store associates see my point in this and makes sure no GG's are in there before I go in. Then they willingly stand guard outside the room to make sure no one else comes in while I am in there.

To avoid the SA having to go to all that trouble, I usually try to find a fitting room that is located right on the sales floor, of course asking permission first.

For me, it is all about being serious about shopping (as someone said before) and being polite and understanding. When I am polite and understanding to the SA, they invariably respond in kind and respect me for it.