Which Restroom to use?

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

ugh sexed toilets are illogical anyway. those women who would be alarmed at a man there and bothered by that more so than another woman there disgust me a little.
i would love to use the men's toilets. not necessarily dressed just because

[Davita]

I tend to find a clean one

Actually, I have been going out for so long, the ladies room works for me. I was kidding with one of my new people of my circle (a GG invited to the coming out this past Friday) that the 1st stall was a good one. I had it reserved for me. At this restaurant, I have managed to have a mob of my GG friends all come in with me. Sound familiar; all the girls going at once?

So far I prefer store or restaurant potties over the generic mall ones; not because of the people, but simply they tend to be nicer. So if I'm in a mall, I will still seek out the store's ladies room.

[PhylissH]

In a way I fail to see the problem. In the womens restroom it is all private stalls anyway, unlike the men's where the urinals are just hanging on the wall. It seems to me that there is much more privacy in the Ladies room

[Kimberly Kael]

People in our culture have been taught a pretty strong nudity taboo. Just being able to see a crack of daylight from a stall is enough to put many people on edge and make them nervous about who might see what. I agree that it's somewhat irrational, but when you consider that women really do get assaulted by strangers on a disturbingly regular basis I can see how all the factors come together to create an uncomfortable set of issues.

Of course it might just be that women like pretending that men are the only ones that pee on toilet seats. Sadly, that's not the case.

[ArleneMcCarthy]

When enfemme, which is nearly 100% of the time, I goes to the girls room, no trouble so far.

[Bernice]

When EnFemme, I prefer to use a ladies room. However, all the horror stories I've read give me the heebie jeebies about going out at all. If traveling alone enFemme, I usually take a container, and deal with the problem inside or next to my car. Anymore, it is very rare for me to go out before nightfall, but honestly, anymore, it is rare that I go out at all.

Hugs,

Bernice

[Anita]

I provided guidance at a rock concert for two women friends who are blind, just last Saturday. I took them to a women's restroom on the concourse, and watched women streaming in and out.

I was in guy mode, standing around waiting outside. I'm out of practice--it would have been daunting to think of marching in there. I would definitely want a woman companion, like having my lesbian friend Joy with me when we went to the Giants stadium and used the women's side there.

Another issue--Joy didn't care, but some women friends might be uneasy at having me use the restroom at the same time as they are. It's something to keep in mind when out with women, although it hasn't come up yet with me.
Other TG friends have mentioned it in the past.

[Susan]

I was out last night and only used the women's rest rooms. I had already had one GG mistake me for a friend and she was surprised when she realised I was not all I seemed to be. I believe when presenting as a woman then you should go all the way. I would have been uncomfortable going into a men's rest room looking like that.

[Ralitsa]

I've never gone in the ladies room, always the mens. But actually I'm always wearing womens clothes, and never really looking like a woman. So it would be pretty obvious that I am a man, dressed as a woman, going in the ladies room. So I've decided that since I'm going to make someone uncomfortable anyway, I'll make it the guys. They might not like it but they at least won't feel threatened by it.

[Tara M]

I'm pretty passable when out en femme so it's always the ladies for me. I actually don't think people should use the disability toilet unless they are so disabled they cannot use the other ones. Transgenerism doesn't count, sorry.

A male Freestyler should use the gents and transgendered folks should use the toilets suitable to the way they're presenting.

[Paula G]

Not so sure about this, I think if I was out in male mode and a bloke came into the "rest room" wearing a dress I woudl feel pretty uncomfortable. If I would feel uncomortable think how a civilian would feel!
I think use the male if you are obviously male, use female if presenting female, if anyware in between then use whatever neutral facility is available

[Absaroka]

First off there is the question of if you are dressed are you convincing.


Paula brings up a good point. The question it leads to is this: if you are in male mode and a man comes into the restroom en femme why does it make you uncomfortable? Is it because you feel like you are urinating next to a woman? Or because you are urinating next to a man dressed in such a way that you feel he may have sexual ideation going on. (like the time I was peeing at the train station and realized the man at the stall next to me was masturbating)

I personally do not feel self conscious about peeing next to a woman, but do feel uncomfortable with an openly gay man at the urinal next to me. i'm not saying it's right, just how I feel. I imagine that is how many women might feel.

[Paula G]

This is a good question, and one I hadn't fully thought out, what is it that I think would make me uncomfortable?

The answer that it is incongrouse for a man to be wearing a dress is too simple and is simply not valid here of all places. Knowing that the vast majority of cross dressers are hetrosexual, it should not be fear of predetaory homosexual encounters. I suspect that it is the same or similar uncomfortable feeling most of us would have if a genetic women came into the loo while we were using the urinal. Shame, something akin to embaressment, at some basic level we are funerable while excreting, throwing an obviously third gender into the situation may be too much for most of our primordial instincts to handle.

The more I think about this the more I understand others reservations, however I remmember the joy the first time I plucked up the courage to use the "ladies". Since then I have had no issues as to which room I use, it is down to how I present, and I think that is how others expect us to behave. I live in the South East of the UK, a fairly liberal envirionment and so maybe an easier place to make these decisions than so US states, but whichever you use it's better than wetting yourself!

By the by spell check would be a boom to those of us who are dislexic

[Susan]

Paula

That is the crux, how I present to the world is how I behave. I would not dream of entering a Ladies room when drab just as I would not enter a Gents when femmed up.

Just my philosophy on this matter.

[ArleneMcCarthy]

When " Arlene ", which is almost all of the time, I use the ladies, if I'm in drab the mens. I havent had any problems - yet !