It's been a rocky start.

Angela Newel · Post by **Angela Newel** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 9:38 pm

First off, let me just say how happy I am to be among sisters. I guess I should share a litte about myself.

I am just out of the closet with my wife who is struggling with dealing with this. Before I came out I was a dress and purge crossdresser. Taking advantage of days or weeks when my wife would be away visiting family. I would struggle with the guilt, promise my self I wouldn't do it again, but that never lasted. The straw for me was this:

When my son went back to school this august I started growing a beard, It had been 2 months since I last dressed/purged and like always before I thought I had put it all behind me. Then as we got into October, I jokingly told my wife I should dress up for Halloween as the bearded Lady, opening that can of worms. She actually thought it was a great idea, though her concept of how I should dress and mine were definately different. So one day after work I went by Goodwill and picked up a couple dresses shoes that were a size too small (I think my size is a 12, but not many stores around here don't seem to carry that size). I also swung by walmart and got a pair of panties, stockings and bra (balloons for breasts). When I dressed for her later to show her, she was a little shocked that I wanted to wear panties and stockings under the dress. It got even worse when I got "excited" about being dressed. She basically said that maybe I shouldn't dress for halloween. I let it sit like that for the weekend. Since I couldn't get wanting to be dressed out of my mind, I started to do some research to see what was "wrong" with me. I know, trust and love God, so I was also worried that I was sinning, just wanting to do this. But over the course of a couple days and a lot of research online I have come to terms with who I am, and I am ... more content with myself ... is the only way I can put it. So later that night after the kids had gone to bed I told my wife, and sent her a web page that I thought described what was going on in me better than I could. I was so nervouse. She ofcourse was shocked, its one of the few times I couldn't read her and tell what she was thinking. That was about four days ago and she is still struggling to get her head around it. She seems understanding at times (I think she really wants to understand) and then at other times I know any mention of it I think makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

She is trying, but I am just so glad to be able to talk to y'all here openly. Thanks.

Leeza · Post by **Leeza** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 11:36 pm

Hi, Angela, and welcome to our little place on the internet. I seeyou found the chat room and hope you enjoyed the chat. I enjoyed chatting with you.

Leeza

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Sat Oct 16, 2010 3:01 am

Hi Angela--
That sounds like a delicate situation with your wife, and I wish the two of you the best. Welcome to the forum.

Erica S · Post by **Erica S** » Sat Oct 16, 2010 7:43 am

Welcome Angela,

I too have some similarities as you described. I am still in the closet, but the religion aspect has been on my mind a lot. I am mot sure what to do at times. I love to dress and want to dress more openly, when appropriate. I would love to chat with you and get your thoughts on things.

Erica

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Sat Oct 16, 2010 8:56 am

Hi, Angela, and welcome to the Forum . . . your wife (SO) is encouraged to join our cyber family, too.

- SL

Michelle M · Post by **Michelle M** » Sat Oct 16, 2010 9:19 am

Angela,

I'm in a similar situation...no kid, but I recently told my wife. She's still trying to understand my dressing and such. The ladies here have been a big help to me. Join us in chat sometime.

Carly · Post by **Carly** » Sat Oct 16, 2010 10:25 am

Angela,
I had told my wife a while ago and she went along with the dressing for a while. I pushed to fast and she decided she could not accept any type of CDing. I would suggest going slow. And yes the support that is available on this site esp on the chat site has been very helpful. Good luck. Hope you can get your wife to understand.

Leeza · Post by **Leeza** » Sat Oct 16, 2010 10:47 am

I too had the problem of religion and crossdressing. I found a site that helped a lot. http://gendertree.com/ then go to contents and Christian veiw. There is a lot of good info on that web site dealing with crossderssing from a religious point of view and it is not the normal of what you hear.

There are also several areas in thin forum if you use the search button.

Leeza

Susan · Post by **Susan** » Sat Oct 16, 2010 2:22 pm

Hi Angela

Welcome to the forum, you are amongst family here, we are all like you.

I wish you the best of luck with your wife. It would be good if you could get her to join us here where there are other SOs here she could compare notes with.

Best wishes

Davita · Post by **Davita** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 5:08 pm

Sorry for your struggles. Let me offer you at least one of the pages from my web site. The page includes some links for significant others (your spouse). See http://davita-farley.webs.com/reference/refs2.html.

For you, I have http://davita-farley.webs.com/reference/bible.html. I can't attest to the accuracy of the translations.

Feel free to contact me and if your better half needs to talk to a spouse, I happen to have one.

Post by **DonnaT** » Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:16 pm

Hi Angela,

to the forum.

Angela Newel · Post by **Angela Newel** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:05 pm

Erica S wrote:Welcome Angela,

I too have some similarities as you described. I am still in the closet, but the religion aspect has been on my mind a lot. I am mot sure what to do at times. I love to dress and want to dress more openly, when appropriate. I would love to chat with you and get your thoughts on things.

Erica

Erica, I am still fully resolving those issues but maybe we could help each other along. I would love to chat with you some time about things.

Gillian · Post by **Gillian** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:58 am

Knowing, loving and trusting God, good, now comes the dealing with the shame, guilt and reproach. God doesn't want you to have any of those. Your SO's shock may come from alot of religious wrong thinking. I hope your journey goes better now that things are in the open.

Post by **DonnaT** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 2:13 pm

Leeza wrote:I too had the problem of religion and crossdressing. I found a site that helped a lot. http://gendertree.com/ then go to contents and Christian veiw. There is a lot of good info on that web site dealing with crossderssing from a religious point of view and it is not the normal of what you hear.

There are also several areas in thin forum if you use the search button.

Yes, just search "bible" or "Deuteronomy" ( the only part of the bible that mentions 'crossdressing', but which was mistranslated).

Andrea Elise · Post by **Andrea Elise** » Fri Oct 22, 2010 2:40 pm

Hi, Angela!

Welcome!

Preconceptions, guilt, religion, "social morality".... I find my self acceptance constantly challenged. I think all of us struggle with it to some degree. Some can shove it aside, but I think the little nagging thing will always be there. Like a little rat, gnawing away at my common sense. I only have to look at the world, in general, to see what a lack of common sense has done.

My dad used to say "The bad thing about having an open mind is that some idiot will come along and fill it with garbage!"

Andrea