Dealing with extended "boy" time

[Lorna]

Hello girls,

It goes without saying that most of us only have limited opportunities to dress. For me it is strictly on the weekends, only if I have no prior commitments. For example, the month of March is a killer for me because every weekend this month I have another child's birthday party to attend, be it a niece, or nephew, or godchild.

Let's just say that my Saturdays are pretty much booked solid thru mid April.

I will admit, when Monday morning rolls around and I know that I have another long, grueling workweek to fight thru before I can dress again, I will become slightly depressed. Needless to say that the weekends are sacred to me. Being that I work hard all week and HAVE to be no less than the uber-aggressive ALPHA MALE at work, I can't even get into the proper frame of mind until the weekend rolls around. But once Friday afternoon comes, that's it. It's Lorna all the way. I will go out. I will NEVER stay in on the weekends. As a single person with no spouse, no SO, and no children, you better be sure that I am going OUT to dinner, to a movie, to a show, or to just party.

I work like a dog all week. The weekends are all the ME time that I have. Just 2 lousy days out of an entire week.

It can be very rough having to sweat out all these days in the meantime, knowing that you still have a ways to go before letting your femme side out again.

I know that many of you don't even have the opportunity to dress once a week. Some of you may get to dress more often (I am envious of you!) So my question is a two parter: 1) how often do you get the opportunity to dress? and 2) how do you deal with your emotions during those extended periods where you know that you HAVE to play the Alpha Male role, and CANNOT dress under any circumstances? Let's share our feelings on this subject...

[Toni Divine]

Hi Lorna!

Well, I may be in the minority here, being both single and currently unattached, so I have a lot of freedom to do whatever tickles my fancy (a dangerous thing, at times).

For starters, I almost always wear panties at a minimum. I find women's clothes that are subtle enough that I can piece or layer them with men's clothes to wear to work. So far, I only once pushed the envelope far enough that someone made a comment on their femininity. Mostly, I get comments as to being one of the more stylish men at work.

But to fully dress, I have to wait for the weekend as well. But since I wear something every day, the week doesn't drag out as long.

I also find that wearing a little something every day keeps me feeling centered. I don't whip out the Alpha Male syndrome as much, but if you push me too far watch out - my bitch side is just as bad!

Even if you can't get away with a little something at work, try coming home and doing your usual week day grind stuff dressed in something comfy and feminine. I usually slip on some favorite top and pants to lounge around or do those household chores during the week. Tonight, I'm doing some cleaning and laundry, so I am wearing a rayon/spandex top and my favorite tiger striped stretch capris. It may help get your mind back together after a bad day at work.

And being single, any night can be nightie night (pun intended)!

I could ramble on some more, but I will stop here for the moment...

Toni

[CJ]

Hi all,

Well, post #3... single gal #3.

In my case, it's not so much lack of opportunity that will keep me in boy mode as it is my quirky, sometimes "downish" moods. I can pretty much dress whenever I want (and I usually do--without necessarily going all the way), but, when I'm feeling out of sorts, dressing is usually the last thing on my mind.

I don't usually do the "Alpha Male" thing (there's already one such beast on my team, and I'm happy to let him stew in his own wild hormones), so that kind of stress doesn't generally affect me. Still, I understand, Lorna, what you're saying about the weekend--let loose, let fly, let go, let Lorna. Is there no way you can allow your "Lornahood" a bit of an "in" during the work week? Maybe you'd feel better, girl.

I hope April comes around in a flash for you.

Toni,

Can I ask why you wait for the weekend to go fully femme? I hear you about the partial dressing at night (nightie night, indeed! ), but is it that you don't do it because of the "all-dressed-up-and-nowhere-to-go" syndrome? If so, I understand where you're coming from; same here. I want the world to see Christina, but the world's always just on the other side of that front door.

Love,
CJ

[Lorna]

Hey girls,

Thanks for your input on the subject. I can honestly say that I envy the both of you.

Once again, I think it all boils down to my job. I hate my job with a passion. Because now it is clearly affecting other areas of my life. It is starting to affect how I think, how I feel and how I conduct myself, even on my own time.

At my job it's kill or be killed. Every day, it's one battle after the next. Everyone you interact with is an "adversary" of sorts, and believe me, these adversaries CAN SMELL FEAR. I have to be a warrior at work, otherwise I could not survive. I cannot drop my guard for even a moment; otherwise I would be eaten alive. (Sound familiar? Like male animals of the wild) But that's just it - at my job I have to be on my toes and looking over my shoulder CONSTANTLY. There is never a "slow day" at my job. It just doesn't exist. There are always 20 things going on at once. I sometimes have trouble sleeping at night because the chaos from work is racing through my mind. Given all of this, dressing for me (even partially) does NOT fit in, no matter how much I want it to.

This is the first time in over 4 years that I felt this way. The last time I felt this way I was working as a branch manager for a large bank. Stress was constant, and every single issue at work was placed on my head. I eventually had to quit that job as I was suffering from migraines so intense that I almost had to be hospitalized. 4 years later, history repeats itself. (no migraines yet, knock on wood)

I'm sure that as soon as I do find a better job where the stress factor isn't so high, a job where I can just go home and leave work at work, a job where I won't have to be the tough "Alpha Male" all the time, then I will once again be able to spend my evenings thinking lovely, relaxing, girly thoughts once again...

Right now, the jumps back and forth between my male and female modes are too intense.

[Toni Divine]

CJ:

Ouch! I hate questions that make me think!

I was going to hide behind the all-dressed-up scenario you described, but I don't think that's particularly the case. I think it is just the habit I have settled into these days.

I usually leave work, go by the market, get home, eat a bite, do the daily chores around here, and work out; by then, it is getting to be around 9:00 or after. So I just get comfy and work some of my many interests: reading, writing, playing guitar, surf the net, etc.

Maybe I should break the routine a bit, even if just every now and then, eh?

Thanks, now I have some re-thinking to do! Who knows, the world may just have to deal with more of the Divine Toni...

You should charge a fee for this kind of therapy!

[Beauty]

Hi Lorna,

I dress quite a bit, but it's not always a dream world. It become routine after a while. At times I might as well be en drabbe because I don't notice.

Do you have roomies and that's why you can only dress on the weekend? It's pretty easy to just dab on a little foundation and some powder and you're ready for the evening.

What do I do during the long en drabbe times. Play on my playstation or play other games. How mature is that?!? Nooooot. :-s

Beauty

[CJ]

Hi all,

Lorna,

I'm sorry to hear you job is turning you into a madhouse candidate. My only advice here: get out while you can, girl. Life is too short to put up with work that kills you like a slow-burning fever. Not only can you not now let yourself be five nights out of the week, but, by the sounds of it, you cannot let yourself be during the daytime, either. O Lorna, where art thou? Live, Lorna! Be! Find a job that better suits your personality and your style. Scary, I know, but saner than wilting.

Toni,



Hey, what can I say? I'm cheap!

Beauty,

I'm terribly disappointed... Playstation? This is what you need: XBox. Now, that's mature!

Love,
CJ

[Lorna]

CJ, Julie, Toni, Beauty... thanks!

What the heck am I thinking about? I keep saying it myself... life is short... I have always been proud of this part of myself and have NEVER allowed ANYTHING else to compromize it. Why start now? Besides, my job doesn't care about me (I have no health benefits anyway) so why should I care about it?

Someone posted in another thread that it's easy to give out advice but much harder to heed to those words yourself... thanks so much for reminding me of what really matters! While paying the bills is good, one cannot throw happiness aside. After weiging all the pros & cons of whatever choices I have, i now know what to do...

I want to enjoy wearing panties on a Tuesday evening again, or anytime of day or night during the week for that matter!

I once wore pantyhose under my suit to a job interview for my old job 3 years ago - and I got the job! That was one of the best places I worked - benefits, low stress, nice people, cool boss, GREAT coffee! LOL... I even dressed as Lorna on Halloween & they loved it! I miss that place...

[Lorna]

BTW Beauty... I love Playstation... and Playstaion 2! I'm such a video game junkie... blame my nephew...

[Gaven McLaren]

Alright this is a post I can jump in on as am a single CD. I do not fully dress thought I do sleep in comfy clothes. I youhave read any of my many posts you know what I mean. Now as for your work situation. If I had that kind of stress on a daily basis I would either go postal or drive out to the desert and not come back. If you do not mind what do you do for a living that you have to stay on your toes all day? Start looking for a new job or a whole new career feild. You are never to old to go back to school to try to learn something new.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Now that's the spirit, Lorna! You give off such playful vibes in your posts and pix, that I can't imagine you not being your light-hearted self any ol' night or day of the week! Can I ask you why you left your old job, if the conditions were pleasant enough for you? Is there any possibility of your going back? (Hey, don't laugh, much stranger things happen in our lives!) By the way, I hear you about heeding our own advice; it's something I need to work on too...

By the way, I was kidding about the Playstation, girls! Whatever lights your fire, eh? I've never PSed, myself--this game grrrl has an itch for the green Box.

Julie,

Thanks for the compliments. Actually, Lorna knows best where her own experience can guide her--she just needs to be reminded of that once in a while. Heck, we all need to remind ourselves of that! Gaven, too, seems wise in this (just remember this, dear boy: nowhere to plug your consoles and computer in the desert! ).

Love,
CJ

[Lorna]

Can I ask you why you left your old job, if the conditions were pleasant enough for you?

I was laid off. My entire department was laid off.

6 months later the company relocated to Texas. I wasn't even there long enough to be elgible for a severance.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Ow! That's such a shame, Lorna. I'm sorry to hear that.

Well, here's wishing you success in whatever you set your heart to--work, love, and general happiness.

Love,
CJ

[Virginia]

I think you can sense a single thread through these responses - Life is too short not to enjoy yourself! Maturity is the ability to make a decision and personally accept responsibility for the results. For a lot of us we have learned that we are just (I use to say wired differently) but I now reetract that HELL, WE ARE WIRED BETTER THAN MOST!!! If you sincerely feel you meet the criteria of being a CD'er. Most of us will take whatever steps necessary to maintain our "Magical Mystery Tour." I love it. I will respect the feeling of my spouse as long as she does not infringe on me being me. At that point I WILL find a way to meet my needs without hurting hers. Unless you are check-mated you always have moves. Mine just happen to be in a tight mini and 4" heels. Good luck and we are here for you, Love, Deborah

[Alexandra]

Now if everybody would just upgrade...

. . . to the new OS. Her name is OSX!