Coping with Danger

[Jamie Ann]

      I suspect that most of us are vaguely aware that crossdressing can be dangerous. We all have visited, or at least been told about, the remembering out dead web site, which currently lists 311 persons who were killed while crossdressed. As some of our more hard-hearted fellow citizens have noted, some portion of those persons had participated in activities that increase the risk of being victimized by crime, but even the worst judgment imaginable does not deserve the death penalty.

      An upscale part of Atlanta added to that death total last Sunday afternoon. As reported in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, a man was found in the parking lot of an upscale high-rise apartment complex where he lived, slumped over the steering wheel of his car at 1:40 p.m. (early Sunday afternoon). Evidently, he had been out for a drive dressed en femme, and was returning to his apartment. He almost made it home. I have a friend who lives in the Buckhead area where this murder occurred. She lives in a high-rise apartment with a high iron fence around it and a station with a security guard. Although rents in that area run about $1,500 per month — it is hardly a low-income ghetto — crime has become a huge problem, especially for vulnerable groups.

      About a month ago, a CD girl whom I know by name, but not personally, called a “social” which involved several CDs meeting at a restaurant in the Buckhead area, having dinner, and then going to a TG-friendly entertainment spot in the same general area. Since most of the attendees would be driving themselves individually to the restaurant, then to the club, and then home in the early morning hours, I remember thinking that this social would involve some risk. I considered writing a message to that effect, but I was afraid that others would think I was a party-pooper who was worrying about nothing. Now my fears have come true and I just feel very saddened by this homicide.

[Beauty]

Hi Jamie Ann,

You're very right. While everyone should have fun, everyone should be very careful out there.

The internet is not the street. You can stroll around the internet alone and dressing any way you want to. Out there we all need to remember to be very careful.

I've driven from Mass. to VA (8 hours) dressed. It was a total blast. I never got sleepy and I got home @ like 4am. I did have to gas up once, but I don't think the guy was even able to tell I was a CD'r. I was nervous enough for the both of us. But lets say the guy next to me in the gas line did read me as a CD'r. That could have ended up badly if I was on a back road.

Great post Jamie Ann. It's sad that it's a forlorn one.

Beauty

[Lorna]

Hi Jamie Ann,

I just read that article as well. That is quite a terrible tragedy indeed. Another sister murdered at the hands of a hate-monger. :evil:

While dressing up and going out can be fun, we all need to remember that whenever we do venture out, we need to be careful and not do anything to put ourselves in any sort of jeopardy.

I hope that someday we reach a point where we can stop reading about hate crimes such as this.

[Sally]

Hello jamie Ann.

There are just too many tales of our people being abused, assaulted and killed, all round the world, it happens here in Australia as well, we remember our dead every November.

We are very vulnerable people and need to take all precautions to ensure our safety, it only takes one time of letting our guard down and disaster can strike.

I remember years ago, when I was around 20 years of age, I was home alone and decided to get fully dressed and go for a walk. I drove my car to a place where no one knew me and I had been walking for a short time when a Police car pulled up beside me, and they beckoned me over to the car. I was so terrified I hitched up my skirt, stepped out of my high heels and ran faster than I ever had. They followed me in the car and eventually I ran up a driveway, over the back fence and into an apartment building. I went up to the top floor and hid in a laundry cupboard. I could hear them yelling and searching on the ground and I have never been so terrified in my life. In those days, it was a criminal offence for a male to be on a public street in female clothing, (thank goodness, nowadays, we have rights here and laws to protect us). I waited for hours after I heard their car drive off, before I ventured out and back to my car.

Another time I was in danger was not so long ago, when 5 of us had been out to a restaurant for dinner and it was around midnight we decided to go to the central part of the city to a night club. The car park was full and we had to park our cars quite a distance from the Club, which meant we had to walk five minutes along fairly dark deserted streets. Along the way we encountered a group of youths in a car, who had obviously been drinking quite a bit, they parked ahead of us and confronted us, in the belief we were a group of women, when, in the ensuing confrontation they discovered who we really were, then the situation turned very ugly and nasty, it almost became a decision of fight or flight. Fortunately they also had a couple of girls with them, who after a while had the good sense to convince the youths to get back in the car and leave us alone, but it is a situation I will never forget and which may well have had a more unhappy ending.

We do have to be aware of our surroundings, where we frequent and be aware of potential danger. They say diamonds are a girls best friend, but in many cases a mobile phone can be a better friend.

Kind Regards.

Sally.

[Alexandra]

http://www.gender.org/remember/index.html#

[Lorna]

I've been looking into self defense classes myself...

[Lorna]

They say diamonds are a girls best friend, but in many cases a mobile phone can be a better friend.

Absolutely!

[Jamie Ann]

     To Beauty, Lorna, and Sally, thank you for your wonderful posts. It is good to know that other thoughtful sisters also have considered the dilemma of wanting to get out and about, but at the same time knowing that there is some degree of risk in doing so. It seems clear that we cannot stay cooped up at home, for at least two reasons: it would not be much fun, and it would do nothing to foster the greater public acceptance we seek. At the same time, we become inviting targets for criminals, who rightly or wrongly believe that we will not resist much, and that we will not be likely to report a crime to the police. I like the statement about a mobile phone being, on some occasions, at least, a girl's best friend! How very true!

[Alexandra]

we ought to be carrying a can of mace or pepper spray in your purse or on a keychain. there is a thread or two about this elsewhere in this forum -- stay safe ladies.

[Beauty]

Hi Alexandra,

I never thought about that until you suggested in another post. I will be definitely looking to get some the next time I go out on the town.

Beauty

[Toni Divine]

If your out and about (especially away from home), you really can't be too prepared for the worst. I have been in safe environments, and due to being crossdressed at the time, have still felt incredibly vulnerable (which is what most women feel a lot of the time, I'm sure). Usually, everything is just fine, but you really never know.

One place to read up on being safe is the American Woman Road and Travel site (www.roadandtravel.com). It has some very good information on how to deal with many situations and such - some things you may never have considered.

[Beauty]

Believe me I know from expierence, you can encounter major problems while dressed even in the privacy of your own home.

Hi Jacquie,

Like what?

If it's too personal to ask, nevemind, but if you do feel ok with discussing it, what happened?

Beauty

[CJ]

Hi all,

Jamie Ann wrote: It seems clear that we cannot stay cooped up at home, for at least two reasons: it would not be much fun, and it would do nothing to foster the greater public acceptance we seek.

I still have trouble going out; more than fourteen years after my own assault, I start to sweat whenever my heels first click on the sidewalk. I just don't get out much anymore... :|

http://crossdressers-forum.com/forums/v ... .php?t=399

Love,
CJ

[Virginia]

I feel for our sisteres who have not been treated with the respect that we should and pray for those who get to wear what the Angles wear. For those of us who dare, I have been going to afternoon movie matinees. I posted this earlier, but anyway her it is again. You get to be seen driving, in that the car offers a certain amount of security, park as close to the theater as you want, you only have to deal with the box office so you can simply whisper the name of the movie then you are inside a dimly lit theater and you can practice you feminine moves in public, walking, sitting, crossing and uncrossing your legs, ankles, etc. You get entertainment, then back to your car in day light in an uncrowded environment and home or whereever your adventure takes you. In your car just look at the people around you! Most are walking or driving in their own little world (staring straight ahead or they have a cell phone crammed in their ear). Most never see a gorgeous lady driving a car near them - most unfortunate, they just don't know what they are missing!!! Right Girls? As for additional safety, a nice snub-nosed Smith& Wesson .357 magnum in your purse can offer a sense of security also.
Head-up. smile and walk proud ladies, Love Ya, Deborah

[Laura]

Hi all,

I've been just reading this thread for the first time, and it is really sobering to realize how vulnerable we can be. To be jumped and assaulted with little or no recourse is a terrible experience. And to have to live with the feeling afterwards. I have friends who are VIetnam Vets and live with post-traumatic stress syndrome. You don't have to be in war to have some version of it. I really feel for those of you who have gone through it.

Love,

Laura