Its OK for the GGs

[Anthony Simon]

There's a book I like a lot, "Manhood in the Making" by David Gilmore. He says that the way men are judged as men is different from the way women are judged as women. Thus:

"..there is a recurring notion that real manhood is different from simple anatomical maleness, that it is not a natural condition that comes about through biological maturation but rather a precarious or artificial state that boys must win against powerful odds. This recurring notion that manhood is problematic...is found in all continents and environments...

...this recurrent belief represents a primary and recurrent difference from parallel notions about femaleness. Although women, too, in any society are judged by sometimes stringent standards, it is rare that their very status as women forms part of the evaluation. Women who are found deficient or deviant according to these standards may be criticized as immoral, or may be called unladylike or its equivalent and subjected to approriate sanctions, but rarely is their right to a gender identity questioned in the same public, dramatic way that it is for men. The very paucity of linguistic labels for females echoing the epithets "effete," "unmanly," "effeminate," "emasculated," and so on, attest to this archetypal difference between sex judgements worldwide. It is far more assaultive (and frequent) for men to be challenged in this way than for women.

...as a social icon, feminity seems to be judged differently. It usually involves questions of body ornament or sexual allure, or other essentially cosmetic behaviors that enhance, rather than create, an inherent quality of character."
p11-2

If, then, a man dresses up like a woman (i.e. like we do) he is automatically becoming "unmanly" and "effeminate" and thus disallowing himself as a man (according to the notions above). If a woman, on the other hand, dresses up like a man, she is becoming less of a woman because her core status as a woman is never in doubt.

[Wendae]

[Absaroka quote]This is also I think part of what is at the root of peoples fear of us. By trying to LOOK attractive we are acting like someone trying to attract men, and by presenting as female we offer the additional possibility of trickery. If we look like a guy trying to pass we additionally offer the threat of male aggression combined with female attractiveness.[/quote]
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It crosses my mind that if I'm made that they would think I was trying to look good to attract men. It gives me pause when I do get all femmed up. I tend to want to dress nice but not attract attention. I'm not one into casual fem dress. ie: jeans, sweats, sneakers, etc. That doesn't do anything for me. When I get dressed it is to look good and to pass if necessary. True my outing are still limited to trips to my therapist and my public exposure is still minimal but, not for much longer. Once I get my voice trained I will go forth more comfidently.

[Anne]

We all have our modes of dress we believe will be satisfactory at the present time in our lives. These could be:

- Occasional Items
- Underdressing
- Dressing in feminine items that are androgynous
- Dressing in feminine casual/contemporary
- Dressing in feminine ideal (dresses/skirts)
- Dressing ultrafeminine

These are but a few points on a continuum, not categorizations.

While my mind's eye prefers dresses, I have bought a fair number of items like womens jeans and tops that could be androgynous were I to work on more acceptance but I have not taken those baby steps. Would I still like to wear these fem items - sure, ideal, no but we have to work on what we can and wearing a dress can be quite a jump from not appearing in one at all.

I know there's more on this topic but I'll wrap and see where it goes. Anne