Effect of feminization on your spouse or mate

Brenda Anne · Post by **Brenda Anne** » Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:29 pm

Feminization. I was wondering if anyone could share how their relationship changed for the better or worse because of it. My wife agrees, that since I have been on hormones ( female )I am easier to get along with and she can always tell if I have skipped them for a while. What she doesn't understamd completly is how wearing womens clothing can further add to the calming effect. When something really bad happens that I can't control, I sometimes have this urge to become as femnine as posible as a way of escape. I think that is the one thing that would bring us closer together and make me even more cosiderate person. I told her about some expierments in prisons where half the men were required to wear dresses. These men were a lot less aggressive and more easy to get along with. I have worn a bra and panties for several years, but still want more. My wife is a wonderful person and even buys me a few things once in a while, but she still can't understand completley why. Hope some of you genetic girls can help. Thank you Brenda

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Sun Mar 11, 2007 10:45 am

Brenda,
I am not a GG but I can tell you this. My wife has said many times I am the same person she married no matter what cloths I am wearing. She has also said when I am dressed she believes I am happier and easyer to get along with. Don't figure

Ann Stef · Post by **Ann Stef** » Tue Nov 27, 2007 11:05 am

The female hormones would cut down the male aggression and testerone level. Women can relate to talking to a more calm person such as them. The dressing as a CD puts a person in a mental state to remind themselves they are in a feminum mode. Sooner or later, most CD'ers learn of what a female goes thru in life, feelings ,emotions, dress, and caring of others.

Lydia · Post by **Lydia** » Tue Nov 27, 2007 1:54 pm

Carol Ann writes

I am not a GG but I can tell you this. My wife has said many times I am the same person she married no matter what cloths I am wearing. She has also said when I am dressed she believes I am happier and easyer to get along with. Don't figure

Exactly what my SO (Paula) says. She loves me no matter how I am dressed. In addition she spports my CDing completely, although admits she cannot understand it - but neither can I! Our only restriction is my going out en femme locally - too many people in town know us.

Some of us are just luckier than we deserve.

Hugs,

Lydia

Ann Stef · Post by **Ann Stef** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 4:10 pm

My SO notices that i am less agggressive and more caring when I am en femme. Thoughts of being feminum does bring out the memories of females in my family who had to keep quiet in a male dopminated household, thus the hiding of male machoism. If dressing en drab for a whole day, some male aggresion shows up on simple arguments, as noticed by my SO.

Jabbela · Post by **Jabbela** » Mon Apr 06, 2009 5:36 am

My SO loves me as person, not as male or female. So she likes me in both flavours and sometimes she "sees" me asa woman, even when I am in male mode. She simply knows, that both flavours belong to my personality - and it is the personality she is in love with - not the appearance. She also has mentioned, that my "duality" enriches our relationship.

Chrissy Hunt · Post by **Chrissy Hunt** » Mon Apr 06, 2009 2:50 pm

I always feel calmer when dressed and in times of stress i find it very relaxing to slip a nice dress etc on.
being only part time the gf never sees this side which is one of my big regrets- cding deffo removes all the male provado, one thing about being male i hate with a passion x

Letitia_Jolie_GG · Post by **Letitia_Jolie_GG** » Sat Feb 27, 2010 1:42 pm

I guess that as Judith Butler says (and I have on my signature) gender is something that one does rather than something that one is; we are being taught since childhood that men are, for instance, more aggressive and less likely to express their feelings than women ("Boys don't vcry" and bla bla bla); so when a man feels the need to express his feelings in a way that is consider womanlike, for instance,he may repress that urge because there's kind of a "gender barrier": he knows that's not "appropriate" for a man. When you are wearing female clothes, you have gone already past that barrier and feel a lot more at ease with the real you; it's a psychological reaction to a socially constructed reality

Andrea Elise · Post by **Andrea Elise** » Sat Jan 22, 2011 7:14 pm

If only I were a genetic woman. So, perhaps, my thoughts are out of place here

Hormones, as it has been said, change the experience.

I have taken testosterone and it made no difference. I was diagnosed as having a low level of it.

My wife says that, now that I am 'out' to her, she can tell when I let Andrea drive. I told her that, from years of hiding my true self, that it is more like I realize that I no longer have to hide in her presence.

I would consider hormone replacement simply for the effects it would have on my physical appearance. I have heard mention of a 'male' mind and a 'male' thought process. In my case, that does not work. I have learned to respond and think as male for protective coloration.

I have heard the phrase 'tom boy', but never the inverse. Fine for a girl to act manly but, forbidden for a boy to act like a girl. For that, we have the derogatory 'sissy'.

I often wonder if, and how much of, male behavior is learned. The same for female behavior. If it is not understandable "Hulk smash!" Pretty, delicate and gentle are not threatening and to be ignored while aggressive is met with "Hulk smash!"

"It's a psychological reaction to a socially constructed reality."

Nicely put, Letitia.

Andrea

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Mon Jan 24, 2011 8:47 am

An expression used here sometimes is "janegirl" sort of the mirror image of tomboy

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Mon Jan 24, 2011 2:29 pm

Letitia_Jolie_SO wrote:I guess that as Judith Butler says (and I have on my signature) gender is something that one does rather than something that one is; we are being taught since childhood that men are, for instance, more aggressive and less likely to express their feelings than women ("Boys don't vcry" and bla bla bla); so when a man feels the need to express his feelings in a way that is consider womanlike, for instance,he may repress that urge because there's kind of a "gender barrier": he knows that's not "appropriate" for a man. When you are wearing female clothes, you have gone already past that barrier and feel a lot more at ease with the real you; it's a psychological reaction to a socially constructed reality

As a TS/interesexed person, I strongly disagree with Ms. Butler. Gender is between the ears and is indeed part of who you are. Sexual orientation is as well. If you role play as most CDs do, then it may be something you do.

Carolynn

Vivian · Post by **Vivian** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:35 pm

I am a lot less irritable and aggressive when I dress like a woman. I feel pretty warm and fuzzy and at peace. It is a time I feel relaxed and safe. I have that testosterone driven aggressiveness when I am on testosterone, but when I take female hormones I am bitchy. It is funny but all of it is really in your head and influenced by chemistry. When I dress up, either influenced by testosterone, or estrogen and progesterone I am basically the same after I dress up, happy warm and fuzzy.

Hugs Vivian

Stormy(SO) · Post by **Stormy(SO)** » Sun Mar 20, 2011 5:42 pm

"My SO loves me as person, not as male or female. So she likes me in both flavours and sometimes she "sees" me asa woman, even when I am in male mode. She simply knows, that both flavours belong to my personality - and it is the personality she is in love with - not the appearance. She also has mentioned, that my "duality" enriches our relationship." ~ Jabbela

.....and this is exactly what it's all about. Loving the person for who and what they are. I easily separate when Missy is Missy or her male self and love that my BFF is her/him.

Vivian · Post by **Vivian** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 11:03 pm

Stormy,
That sounds wonderful, my wife loves that we share style, make up and fashion. We do each others hair/wigs and she loves that at any time I can slay any attackers and that I have a proven combat record to back it up. You go girl and the better your relationship is more power to you. I have a lot of hormone switches and no matter what I am on, dressing as a woman and loving my SO is always my highest goal. Let us all know how things are going. smooches

Hugs Vivian

Crossdressers-Haven.com

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