asked which bedroom I wanted

Carly · Post by **Carly** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:18 am

Things were going well. I hadn't dressed per my wife's request in over 5 months. Last night she said she couldn't be with me unless she was drinking. I said I was saddened by that and she said I should pick which bedroom I would like to use. She says I don't realize the pain I have caused her. I think she has at least equaled it on my end. We have been married over 35 years and she has known a majority of that time. It only became an issue after I developed a debilitating illness. Just need to vent.

Post by **KimberlyS** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 12:37 pm

Sorry Carly that is not a good point to be at. I was praying the two of you could work through things. But to work through things there has to be open communication both ways. Do what is right for you at this point.

Joan · Post by **Joan** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 4:15 pm

I am also sorry for you Carly, having a debilitating illness and not being able to dress.

Your wife is quite mean with you under these circumstances.

Joan

Davita · Post by **Davita** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 6:54 am

What a shame, Carly. Sorry *sigh*

Susan · Post by **Susan** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 8:46 am

Dear Carly

I am so sorry dear. I hope she changes her mind for both your sakes.

HUGS

Carol Elizabeth · Post by **Carol Elizabeth** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 9:54 am

What bedroom do you want to use?

The only correct answer is, "I want to be in the same one you use."

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 12:10 pm

At what point in your marriage did you tell her about Carley? I told my wife 7 years into our marriage - foolishly I believed I would no longer have feminine desires - it didnt. I found out that not only is keeping this secret a huge breech of trust, but we are also seen as the other woman! This is very hard for our wives to accept....

Leeza · Post by **Leeza** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 1:19 pm

Carly, it sounds to me that she is having more trouble handling the debilitating illness than the crossdressing.

Or there is the possibility that the 2 things together are a bit more than she thinks she can handle.

My first wife informed me after I got back from Viet Nam that if I had had a major injury over there she would not have stayed with me afterwards. Later when we did split up she blamed it on me being a cd.

It is a low blow, but there are a lot of people who cannot handle the "or for worse" when it comes to health issues that are long term and debilating.

Leeza

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 3:47 pm

I am sorry sorry after all those years

Post by **DonnaT** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 6:33 am

Sorry to hear that, Carly.

Clearly she can't handle your illness anymore, since you haven't dressed in a while and she still wants separate bedrooms.

I reckon, if it were me, I'd dress all the time now.

Carly · Post by **Carly** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:42 pm

some good news,if only temporary. Still no dressing but sheisn't kicking me out of her life just yet. she has suggested I go find someone else before but this is the first time she actualy said we should live separate lives. ( I think the plan was for me to pay for it all)

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 1:36 pm

Hi Carly--
I'm not sure what to make of this, in terms of your side of the dilemma. If you're suffering the effects of a debilitating illness, it's not the time to lose your support, nor is it a time to be out meeting new potential mates. She may have a need to separate, but is it doable for you at this time?

Anthony Simon · Post by **Anthony Simon** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:19 pm

I guess this is a kind of devil's advocate position, but I'm just wondering if she's playing power games based on your illness. That is to say she demands one thing from you and when that sticks she comes back, some months later, with another demand - all premised on the idea that you need her.

Carly · Post by **Carly** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 5:47 pm

Anthony Simon,
YOur right about her wanting to be in control of everything. I just had never fought back on anything before.

Anthony Simon · Post by **Anthony Simon** » Sat Jul 16, 2011 5:29 am

Honestly, I think you need to see a lawyer, just to know what your options are.

Crossdressers-Haven.com

asked which bedroom I wanted

asked which bedroom I wanted

35years...