asked which bedroom I wanted

Carly · Post by **Carly** » Sat Jul 16, 2011 12:29 pm

Anthony SImon,
Having a lawyer involed would escalate matters but I am keeping that option open if the threats return. I would have to be very careful. It would means selling everything in a down housing market and both of us accepting a lower standard of living.

Anthony Simon · Post by **Anthony Simon** » Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:26 pm

My feeling is you're in a kind of conflictual situation with your wife. She seems to be edging towards a separation and has little or no interest in repairing the relationship. To me that says you need to know just what the legal ramifications of whatever may happen in the future are - like what happens if she says or does this or that, or you say or do this and that.

Once you have that sort of knowledge, in my opinion, you'll be on much safer ground as to what to do next - because to me it looks like you're angry and want to respond in some way. I think a lawyer might have decent advice on that - and that's really what you'd be looking for, advice rather than putting some sort of legal process into motion. It might come to that in the end, but not now.

Erica S · Post by **Erica S** » Sun Jul 17, 2011 8:35 am

Carly,

Sorry to hear what you have been going through. I can see it is very hard.

Erica

Post by **KimberlyS** » Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:20 am

Carly, seeing a lawyer as Anthony suggests does not mean you get a lawyer involved in things and you wife needs to know about it. It just means you get informed of what you should do if things escalate again. A lawyer can tell you things you should be currently keeping track of and things to do to protect yourself. Also can tell you what you should and should not do if things escalate again. One example would be when things with my ex got bad I left the house because I thought it was the best for the kids. But that one thing was the worse thing I did for the whole situation. I should have stood my ground and forced my ex to move out.

So get informed and see a lawyer.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Tue Jul 19, 2011 10:10 pm

Telling your spouse you can't be with them if you aren't drinking is often a sign not of trouble with the spouse but of a drinking problem.

Carly · Post by **Carly** » Sun Jul 24, 2011 2:06 pm

Absaroka,
I agree with the drinking problem but I am in the middle since without drinking I was often treated poorly. I have stood up recently to the rough treatment and things have improved quite a bit.
Thanks to all of you for your thoughts, advice and good wishes.
Love Carly