why I like dresses so much

Leeza · Post by **Leeza** » Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:11 pm

Cornhuskers won (40-7) ref above. There are as many female Husker fans as male and I think a lot of the women are more knowledgeable about the game and players than a lot of the men.

In this state I think the up and down moods ride on Husker football.

Leeza

Paula G · Post by **Paula G** » Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:16 pm

Anthony is right Soccer is still the British national sport, I just think this is such a shame, when most of our stars seem to be non British young men with too much time and too much money. Top line Soccer is more of a business than a sport, but is probably still the major topic of conversation among men, when I either give my opinion about soccer, or just duck the issue and say I'm not interested, very often the conversation still goes on without me, that's my cue to go and find a different group with different conversation, so I often find myself spending time with the ladies - what a shame

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Sun Sep 04, 2011 5:06 pm

Hi Ralitsa--
Back to dresses for a moment.

As much as I like them, finding a dress that looks good on me AND fits is a challenge. Some I can take to my seamstress to have altered, but there are fundamental problems that she can't solve. I can find dresses for tall women, but my arms are longer than theirs. I can find dresses that fit my size, but they don't fit my shoulders. The shoulders also dictate what kind of straps I can wear. Spaghetti straps are best, and short-sleeve dresses are next best. The dress can't show cleavage. When I add up all these factors, it makes acceptable dresses a small percentage.

And I like dresses so much that I've bought ones that had the above problems, only to realize that I couldn't make them work just because I wanted them to work. I've had to take them back, or give them away when I found I never wore them. Part of the learning curve to being a gal.

I have some dresses I really love, and have had them for years now. It is very time-consuming to shop for dresses, I must say. Much easier to match tops and skirts. I also have expensive tastes in material and patterns, so that complicates my search. I have to find the discounts to get the kind of dresses that I like to wear best.

I like the fact that women treat me differently when dressed, and it is a positive difference. Like you said, I don't have to weigh my words so much--they're not interpreted as come-ons or inappropriate.

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Sun Sep 04, 2011 9:29 pm

I heard today that OU defeated Tulsa, 44-7. And OKlahoma State defeated their targe something like 70-0. Is the latter correct? Maybe they were playing a Jr. High team, I dunno. I don't get much from such games, as I see them mostly as something for gamblers to bet on, though since there is a Rugby field in Norman at OU now, I am curious enough to try to attend a game of that. Soccer I have seen played, and it at least looks energetic.

Carolynn

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » Mon Sep 05, 2011 9:09 am

Tops and skirts allow us to pruchase a top that fits our shoulders and a skirt that fits our waists, but agree it is not the same as a dress. Dresses with halter tops and full skirts seem to work, pencil thin dresses would be a problem, because women have huge hips, and thin shoulders, we must purchase dresses that fit our waists, I believe this works because when I purchase a size 16 it seems to equate with a 36 inch waist.

Ralitsa · Post by **Ralitsa** » Mon Sep 05, 2011 10:24 am

Anita,
you missed out on a great discussion about this in the fashion and beauty section. I agree that finding a dress that fits just right isn't easy for someone with the wrong shape of body, and that's why I so avidly recommend having dresses custom made. The one I'm wearing now was made for me by my friend Peggy. She made my "annie oakely" dress and gave me a few others that no longer fit her. The one I liked so much that I had her make this one from the same pattern, in a cute summery material, and with cap sleeves since I don't like showing straps. Right now she is working on another one for me, a more formal style with a little jacket that will be my autumn outfit. I bought the material myself at Joann fabric, which was $100, and the sewing will probably be another $100, but an outfit like this would easily be several hundred at Macys and wouldn't fit as well and will have been made in China. So she can cut the shoulders at a bigger size, and the hips at a smaller size, and then make final adjustments when I try it on.
If I evaluate the cost based on the amount of enjoyment I get, then it's quite a good deal. First I get to go shopping for the pattern and the material, spend a few hours looking at material, talking to the sales girls, etc. Then I take it to Peggy, talk to her for a while about what I want, how it will look, how nice it will be, etc. Then the anticipation of finally getting it, talking to her about the progress she is making. The final fitting, trying it on, admiring it, thinking maybe it should be taken in a little here, let out a little there, is the hem high enough, or too high? Then after a month of waiting while she works on it, the last few days before I pick it up, deciding where I will wear it for the first time. It must be something of a special occasion, I'm not going to just wear it down to the grocers. In the case of this dress I'm wearing now, it's a casual summery style so it must be something casual and summery. In the case of my autumn outfit that she is working on, it must be something a little more formal and autumnal, maybe like a wine tasting or an evening concert.
So for me it isn't about how many dresses I have hanging in my closet, it's about how much enjoyment I can get out of wardrobe. And if I can enjoy it even before I wear it, then that is a really good idea.

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Mon Sep 05, 2011 4:59 pm

Hi Ralitsa--
That's a wonderful description of the whole process of getting a custom dress. You get so much enjoyment 'mileage' out of each step, and I would do the same.

I have never really thought much about custom wear at all, even though my mother and my sisters made dresses when I was growing up. I have definite fashion ideas, both for stage clothes and dresses--I know what I like, and finding it "out there" in the world is difficult. It would be so much easier to get some clothing made for me, so thanks for reminding me that that is possible!

I'd like to do my own alterations, too, but there's only so much time. I don't think I'm going to get around to learning how to do that.

On talking to women: before my girlfriend transitioned, she found herself in trouble trying to talk to woman. She just wanted to be one of the girls, BUT...she was dressed in the wrong clothing. So she'd get into discussions with women about babies and child-raising, for instance, and the women could sense that this wasn't the usual man-to-woman kind of talk--so what was it? LeeAnne didn't notice or want to notice how the women got uncomfortable with this kind of boundary crossing.

Years later, some of her women friends tried to explain it to her. They said it was like heavy-duty flirting, only they could see that it wasn't really meant that way. It drove them a little crazy trying to figure it out. When LeeAnne came out as woman, then it made sense to them.

I was helping supervise a teen dance party four years ago, and found myself sitting at a table with four women, all parents. The discussion was lively, and fun, but I was getting really frustrated playing a 'male' role in all of this. There was so much I wanted to say, and I was not in the right clothing to say it!

I've found that I can't "force" Anita-type conversation if I don't look the part, so I don't do it. But it's really hard to handle, once you know that you have the ability to participate in those discussions.

It's like sitting around with four comedians telling dirty jokes, and you're dressed as a Catholic priest.