Are there any thin girls out there? How do you eat?

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:53 am

Right! there has to be balance. I do expect to fluctuate within a range, the trick will be maintaining control! Ok, barbecue ribs and 3000 calories for dinner, or a Crabmeat or Oyster Po-boy with fries or onion rings .... Next day up 6 pounds! Then will have to feel I saited my appetite then turn around and hit my weight again. I believe If that weight keeps creeping up then I will be back in the 200 pound range within a year or two. So I think I will have to etch that 176 or 173 in my mind and try to hover in a set range, controlling when needed.

I am a food a holic, anorexia is not my problem but can be for some.

I have lost 6 pounds mowing or running in the heat - part of our weight is water and the ease of losing when starting a weight control program is often because we are losing water before fat begins to be lost. My wife used to tell me that a colon can hold 100 pounds of -----! Back when she was teaching. She has her Doctorate and taught Nursing for years, she pushed me into a masters but I was done after that. A doctorate is being made to write and rewrite your dissertation on whatever study you conducted for a committee of individuals - In the end what does all of that really mean? Many self made individuals with no formal education end up at the same place having built up their businesses or whatever with their millions.

Amy Santos · Post by **Amy Santos** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 12:55 am

Michelle M wrote:Well I've found one of the things that helps me keep from overeating is tracking calories. http://www.myfitnesspal.com has a lot of tools to help you lose weight. It'll calculate calories burned during exercise, calories eaten (and has almost any food you can think of), and has a social aspect to it to help get others to encourage you.

I've been using the myfitnesspal app on my iPhone religiously and I would highly recommend this website as well. So far I've dropped from 168 lbs to 148 just by keeping my daily caloric intake under 1200 and doing 20 mins of light cardio every other day or so. I still have a long way to go before I reach my ideal weight. I think counting calories has made me a lot less impulsive in what I eat. Before I started dieting, I could finish 1000 calories worth of cookies in one sitting even if I wasn't even the least bit hungry to begin with. Nowadays I actually have to force myself to eat some extra fruit or vegetables just to meet my 1200 calories a day. I also completely dropped meat (except eggs), fast food, junk food and sodas out of my diet. And I try to avoid heavily processed food, sticking with organic food whenever possible.

But I think when it's all said and done, the difference between success and failure is your mindset. If you stay positive and feel proud of the progress you've made, you'll continue to lose weight/maintain a healthy weight. If you feel miserable about not being able to eat what you want or not losing weight as fast as you want, you'll most likely revert back to your old habits and gain back whatever weight you managed to lose. So remember to stay positive.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:33 am

Tracking is a great idea. But we are all different. Each of us needs to figure out what we need, not what Amy needs. 1200 cal a day seems to work for her. Safe weight loss for me was about 2600 cal a day. When I tried to use my wife's diet (about 1400 cal a day) it went very badly. Everyone has different needs.

She's also right about how easy it is to eat 1000 cal worth of cookies in one (brief) sitting.

Zari

Azurielle · Post by **Azurielle** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 11:50 am

I mostly eat whatever, although I stay away from complex sugars like most breads and starches.

Also, the whole ''eat veggies'' thing just makes anyone frustrated and eat more. Just pace yourself and eat small snacks like apples or granola bars throughout the day. Even a dark chocolate bar is fine as long as you don't chug the whole thing down at 1:30, nibbling is key.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Mon Oct 10, 2011 3:08 pm

Azurielle brings up a good point. Vegies, and fruits too, are mostly simple sugars. Vegies don't have that much sugar, but they are the source of all the calories. They are very good to eat in terms of nutrition, but eaten alone they will cause an insulin spike that just makes you hungry again. They are better with some fats, like nuts, or protein mixed with them.

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » Wed Oct 12, 2011 8:29 am

We rented a beach condo over the weekend with our sons. My wife has always enjoyed the beach. Kind of strange to be sitting in such a beautiful place and crying and feeling so upset and sad at the same time as I was sitting a little behind my wife who is singing gibberish, or talking to people who arn't there. Yet she told me she was enjoying being at the beach. Of course we hit our favorite night spots, it was a vacation we had not had for two years and I was fulfilling a promise to my wife and my boys that we would go. Will now have to think of something different to do next time. So I gained weight but not near what I had expected because my weight loss if for real.

Now I have to find that mindset again - you are right finding that "zone" is so important and for me it makes all the difference. Part of finding and maintaining is to remember why I want to lose weight, I enumerated those for me somewhere above. Right again if we are 6'5, large framed and active we will require more calories than someone 5'2, small framed, and sedentary. I do find for myself that staying somewhere around 1200 calories guarantees that I will be rewarded when looking at the scale tomorrow even at age 54! I have found that I need control and set meal times and calories per meal, If I were to try small frequent it would be amazingly easy for me to simply start grazing - nuts are my downfall I would prefer not to have any in the house, MM dark chocolate peanut or almond either!! But my wife wants them and sometimes when she will not eat much you simply have to give her whatever you know she will eat so that at least she is taking in an adequate amount of calories, but she is still overweight though thinner than she used to be. I am back at it today, many wonderful posts - all of you, thanks to all - Anne

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:58 pm

Back at 178.5 this morning, now to press on to 176 with an eye to 168. I know if I stick to my calories I will lose. I stopped Jogging as I adjust because it increases my hunger. I am pleased with myself - I am back on track after a vacation, a mother inlaw who brought fried chicken and potato salad, and going out with one of our friends - all of these things are like waves you have to ride out then get your focus back afterwards.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:56 am

Anne it seems like you've made good progress. You were at 193 in August, now you're in the mid 170s. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!

At our age jogging can cause problems, such as in the knees, so it's perhaps best to find another form of exercise. But diet without exercise, while it may result in a lower number on the scale and a thinner body, is probably not a good route to better health. Among other things diet without exercise can lead your body to eliminate the muscle while retaining the fat, which is not what we want.

It's okay that exercise can increase the appetite. That's because when exercising the body needs more calories. When I go to the gym and read the little calorie counters on the aerobics machines, I usually wind up expending 500 to 700 calories in exercise. My basal metabolism if I am completely sedentary uses about 2700 calories a day. That means that on days that I don't get any exercise I need to eat about 2200 calories to lose a pound a week, which is a good rate for long term loss. However if I am getting 600 calories worth of exercise then I need to eat take in about 2800 calories a day to lose a pound a week. As you can see, that is almost an additional 30% more calories. There is lots of stuff on line where you can figure out how many calories per mile walked and that sort of thing.

But the ability to eat and enjoy more food is not a good reason for exercise. The reason for exercise is that is how our bodies are designed to work. We are not designed like lions or tigers that rest most of the day and occaisionially hunt. Our bodies are meant to be moving around most of the day, and when they don't get enough exercise, they deteriorate. In particular things like our heart.

There is also of course the fact that at 168 lbs getting exercise you will look far better than at 168 lbs of sedentary body. Not to mention that the same weight will appear signifigantly thinner.

Anyway jogging may, as I said, be a bad idea. But long walks are just as useful and a lot more fun, especially at this time of year.

I'm at about 225 right now, up from 210 a couple of years ago and down from a far flabbier 260 about 5 years ago. Myt knees feel drastically better and my back is also much improved. Goal is about 200, although back when I was 210 people were saying that perhaps I should stop there. My wife says that I look about right now at 225. Twenty five years ago 185 seemed about right for a very long time. I could walk all day for days in a row back then-ah, lost youth........

Keep up the good work

Zari

Zari

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 12:07 pm

Zari How tall are you? I hope you don't mind me asking? Reading my crossdressing book the Lazy CD it said women come in all sizes, I feel pretty big at 5'9.5" with a medium frame but there are women larger than me. My Wife's family has women large enough to hit the grid iron and there were lots of men in her family who did just that. You just sound about their size.

Fortunately my knees are in wonderful shape so I am able to jog which is still my torture of choice. I do not want to build upper body size or shape that is masculine - I am aspiring to those whispy arms and shoulders I envy so much. Fat is a feminine tissue I have heard! but I will exercise starting this afternoon and follow your advice. Thanks

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Fri Oct 21, 2011 8:04 am

I'm 6-2 (used to be 6-3, and I don't like this shrinking with age thing) and have a large frame. Currently my hip to waist ratio is 42/39.
My "girl figure" would be about 41-39-42.

I have a GG friend who was a triathelete for many years. From a distance her shoulders look like those of a man. This is often true of women who swim competitively. She also has an agressive walk, sort of like a man. Years ago out in a very remote part of the Cascades she ran across this old guy who told her he'd seen her footprints a couple of days ago and had thought from the characteristics of her stride that she was a man with small feet. However she is very feminine and, in her mid 50s, drop dead gorgeous in a sort of nontraditional way . I wouldn't let the fear of upper body musculature influence your thoughts too much.

Ideal body fat for men is about 12-20% Ideal body fat for women is 16 to 26 %. When figuring out what is right for you it will be important to remember that physically you have the body of a man when it comes to things like this even though your psyche has two spirits.

Interesing numbers are found in long distance runners and dancers (my youngest daughter dances a lot, and at 5-11 1/2 and 140 lbs thinks she is quite overweight, even though half that weight is leg muscle) who may have only about 5% body fat. This helps with running but in a famine they'd be the first to die even though they might be in the best of health. They would also be at a real disadvantage in winter mountaineering. That extra 5% body fat in women is why women make better long distance swimmers, and why in situations like the Donner party disaster the women live long enough to eat the corpses of the men.

I had another GG friend who ran ultra marathons. She was about 2% body fat. She was one of those people who when you see them at the gym you automatically assume they are exercise bulemics, which is a bulemic who substitutes excessive exercise for vomitting and laxatives. She needed surgery and the doctor refused to operate until she gained about 10 lbs of body fat.

The wispy look is not really something to aspire to, although at 5-9 that would really be about 125 lbs, which is nowhere near what your far more intelligent goal is. Obviously you don't want to do weight lifting with heavy weights, although the muscle bulk is produced by androgens as a response to exercise and so as we get older it is less likely to happen. However maintaining muscle tone is very important as we get older to avoid joint injury, the muscles protect the joints.

I loved running. Even more I loved walks of several days duration. Oh well. I am working on keeping gratitude for my enjoyment of shorter walks now. It's fall in New England, so there is a lot to be grateful for when I walk.

Keep up the good work.

Zari

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » Sat Oct 22, 2011 7:54 am

Well, 177 this morning the 7 day moving average is 180.14 and I am getting a red flag which states SLOW DOWN! I suppose the difference between what we would like and reality means we have to accept what is reasonable for us. My tanito function on my scale tells me my body fat is 19% last time I checked, I put in the wrong height this morning were I your height I would be at 7%. I have no problem eating but have a problem controlling myself, once I leave the reservation my will power is gone. By reservation I mean I tend to eat the exact same meals with a little variation at night along with 8 8oz glasses of water per day usually a glass or two per meal and a multiple vitamine mineral pack. Now a days even vitamins can kill you! Yesterday I was walking our dog and felt I could run my 1.5 miles and like a true runner spring along all the way full of energy.

We are men so we can be thin and fit but are limited to letting our hair grow longer so that it can be styled like a woman's, we can groom our eye brows, pierce our ears, wear make up, grow shape and polish our nails, shave our legs. and with the right clothing be fairly passable women at least in our minds though some men really do look like beautiful women and can shock everyone.

Two spirited is my best attempt to put who I am into words not a day has gone by for the past 45 years or there about without thinking about crossdressing multiple times throughout every day on average. I am male most of the time to be honest but were the world open to us at least half of that probably more would be living in women's clothing and enjoying it. Trouble is we would largely be rejected by 92% of women, and would receive indifference and rejection from men in general. Never the less, we would find friends. I live mostly a secluded life anyway.

I enjoyed hearing about the women in your life. I am reluctant to use light weights, those 2 pound dumb bells, or push ups. No 168 is my absolute bottom because that is what most weight tables tell me I should be but I do not beilieve they are taking our frame into consideration. I am nearing my goal and will have to work at maintenance and I am anxious to be at the end of weight loss so that I can add in the extra 250 to 300 calories and eat about 1457 calories, long ago I found this was the point for me where eating more led to weight gain, less to weight loss.

Perhaps you could cycle, row, or sail?

enough for now, see you later Zari

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Sat Oct 22, 2011 9:24 am

Looking at the number of entries on this thread we seem to be acting like women, dissatisfied with our bodies and talking about diets.....

You could do girl push ups. Also the 2 lb weights won't add bulk, just tone. My wife and daughter both use them. Stay away from the 35 lb dumb bells.

I have had a lot of trouble with the fact that when I stray from a rigid eating plan I tend to go all out, on the grounds that I don't plan to do it again. I have big problems with the concept of "enough". What I try to remember now if I am having pizza or desert is that I don't have to over do it because there will come another time, probably in a few weeks, when I can have another reasonable portion of it. It was a difficult thing to wrap my mind around but it did in fact happen.

I had two pleasant walks yesterday of about 2 miles each. One to go pick up the car from the shop-we're a bit in the country and the foliage is great this time of year. The other was at night, en femme except for shoes and jeans, by the ocean.

Zari

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:27 am

Aesthetics, the love of beauty in our world and being sensitive to that along with other personality traits we possess while not necessarily feminine or masculine do in men like us when accumulated in abundance I beieve support the argument that we in particular are partially feminine more so than other men tend to be.

We do have a pair of pink dumbells that are 2lb, but could only find the black pair - what do you suggest I do with them, curls? presses?, bendng at the waist while holding them at my chest and straightening my arms? standing erect dumbells at my side and raising straight arms to shoulder height? 5-10 reps tops for tone? We do have some pilaties DVD's. 5-10 women's bent let push-ups? With all the testosterone I worry about building my biceps rather than just toning them. I used to lift weights on and off while I was younger as I was deeply in the dark closet and in denial given to being more driven by sexual urges to crossdress with the adrenalin flowing.

On eating - I have the very same problems, but without counting calories sometimes what seems reasonable is still way over what we should be taking in to maintain rather than gain weight. I no longer consume half bags of chips-ahoy dunked in glasses of whole milk, or the occasional whole pizza, or goose liver sandwiches with mayo (90% fat!!!!), or garlic toast and tea when I was a teen, fortunately I moved on and try to limit myself to less than half a pizza, knowing 2 slices is a whole meal I do tend to avoid that. If I look at the track of my weight loss it is a line that jerks up and down as I lose. When I take a break - katie bar the door!!! and I gain 2.5-3pounds overnight! Maintenance will have to be merely eating my 1457 calories which is more than my 1088 I have been living under on my weight loss plan. I will have to continue weighing daily - which I have done my entire life anyway - perhaps in time I will simply learn to judge without counting calories - but amounts tend to grow over time if we do not count objectively serving sizes. My sister in law is thin, and when she came I remember her stating if she had a beer that was her snack for the night - no dissert! Knowing that one grilled chicken sandwich - hold the mayo and no fries with unsweet iced tea, and perhaps an apple makes a reasonable lunch. Having a super sized portion provided in a resturante - a chicken salad say- means we ask for vinigrete, or dressing on the side - hold the cheese and then pick at it leaving about half instead of licking the plate when we are done!!! We need to learn to eat like the beautiful women we see who maintain their lovely figures.

I also prefer not to purchase cookie dough - if that is a weakness, but mine is any kind of salted nut, M&M dark chocolate peanuts, or mini heshie bars, chips in any form - If I can help it I do not buy these items and purchase fruits and healthier snacks instead then I have no choice! An orange is 35 calories, a banana 60-90. BUT to be fair I have no choice as my wife likes these items, and sometimes she doesn't eat enough because of her dementia to maintain her weight so - In my book any - ANY calories that she will eat replaces the healthy foods she pushes away after only a few bites, and sometimes I throw a meal out and make another that she would eat - peanut butter and Jam, a slim fast, grilled cheese....

More thoughts on eating are that a normal person has the right to celebrate a birth day, anniversary, an UMMM! Barbecue! and enjoy it to the hilt - but we must recognize that we will have to pay the piper for a day or two after if we are objective and sincerely want to maintain our ideal weight. Celebrations can become every day.

I don't know but if this is to be my last diet it won't be if I cannot successfuly make this lifestyle change.

Paula G · Post by **Paula G** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 2:28 am

That's it Anne a lifestyle change, a change of habits. My wife is trying to lose weight and it is very hard for her, not least in that she has to change the habits of a lifetime, as well as having a teenage daughter (who looks gorgeous and eats everything in site) and a vigorous husband who's who's life style means he needs lots of calories to stay healthy.

When I was in sedentary work I was always on the chubby side (OK I was fat) but now I am at a steady 165-170 lbs, if I go over 17 lbs I suddenly feel fat although I don't think it shows. The other day I was wearing some new (women's) jeans and was asked if I had lost weight, I think it was just the way I was dressed (see http://paula-paulasplace.blogspot.com/2 ... iment.html ) If our concern is how we look then what we wear can make a big difference, if it is our health then we have to be careful.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:10 am

The toning exercises seem to work best if you do a lot of repititions with small weights. It's probably not a good idea to decribe exercises on the internet but I have a book called Strong Women (and Men) Beat Arthritis which has a number of exercises which are aimed at strengthening muscles to the point where they do their job properly, rather than body building.

I love that prepackaged cookie dough, to the point where I never buy it. Your trigger foods are a lot like mine, and share a trend common to men who overeat as opposed to women who overeat. Men tend to be attracted more to fatty foods-nuts, chocolate, icecream and so on while many women have a lot of trouble with carbs-stuff like bread, rice, and pasta. Of course things like cookies and chocolate have a lot of booth. My personal opinion is that peanut butter is the work of the devil........

I weigh myself most days also. My weight can fluctuate by 3 to 5 lbs daily, and often I think this has to do with how much salt I had and how much water I retained. I typically loose about 2 lbs during an hour workout at the gym unless I am careful to keep drinking water. This is important for me to remember as it seems like my first symptom of dehydrastion is increased muscle cramps in my more vulnerable areas like my knees.

For most people 3500 calories is equal to 1 lb weight gain or loss. So if you eat an extra 1000 calories and gain 3 lbs something else is going on, probably having to do with either water or bowel movements.

Anyway, keep at it. But beware of the thinking that there is an ideal weight, and of needing to overmuch emulate beautiful women. Those ideas have crippled a great many women emotionally, and it's an aspect of womanhood we should be grateful that we have a good chance to avoid.

Zari