It's never too late ?

Julie Dawn · Post by **Julie Dawn** » Sun Nov 13, 2011 2:57 pm

Two recent articles in the UK newspapers

Both examples require more balls than I have to spare!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... edure.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... ament.html

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Mon Nov 14, 2011 12:07 am

The lady's story sounds familiar. Could be any TS Post OP.

Dr. Brassard operated on an 81 years old on Nov. 19th a year ago. She had lived non-op since her late 30's after having a son with her wife. She was concerned that she would have to go to a nursing home since she showed no signs of dying, so wanted to not be the local freak. Now she has no worries.

She was my room mate in the recovery residence in Montreal.

Carolynn

Carol Elizabeth · Post by **Carol Elizabeth** » Mon Nov 14, 2011 4:19 am

Kind of a weird thought, but it is 3 am when I read the articles -

But in the case of Donna (Donald) Smith how would one want the grave stone to read when death occurs?

Born (date) as Donald Smith
Death (date) as Donna Smith

Having a sex change so late in life - most people would have known Donald not Donna.

Never mind - the thought is just to weird to figure out.

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:33 am

My case is different, but I do understand your trepidation. I was first named Carolynn after the midwife delivered me from my mother at home, and that is the name on my first birth certificate. Following the first surgery to make me "male", sorta, some 4 weeks later, it was changed to the male name I labored under for years, until I finally was able to retire and have corrective surgery to restore me to who I always was without fear of being outed and fired. I have already faced the questioning looks of people who had known me in my other life, when my sister died and I elected to be listed as sister Carolynn in her obituary.

As far as what may appear on a tombstone, that is a matter for the survivors to decide. You are dead and it just doesn't make a difference anymore to the dead.

Personally I intend to be cremated and my ashes disposed of by flinging upwind of the ceremonial parade of the state legislators on the first day of their assembly, so that I might be a cinder in a few eyes, creepy bas---ds that they are.

With the way they are all so paranoid, I expect there is already some law on the books to make it illegal to have my family do that though. Oh Well! I detest politicians as much as I do lawyers and used car salesmen, which are often the same kind of sociopath.

Carolynn

Carol Elizabeth · Post by **Carol Elizabeth** » Mon Nov 14, 2011 2:51 pm

Even though the person is dead -
they should be remembered in a
manner that grants the a certain
dignity the person's life.

I am leaning toward letting the persons
who die, choose the mannor or gender
they want to be remembered.

Then in a hundred years or so when
someone is researching the family tree,
they come across a mystery that isn't
easily solved.

Sort of a long term practicle joke on
generations that follow.

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Mon Nov 14, 2011 3:09 pm

IMHO if the family is not favorably disposed to the person's transition, it is unlikely they will be remembered as they might wish. That is based upon the experience where the transitioned person was dressed in male clothes rather than female for the funeral, hair cut into a male style, and the male name was placed on the tombstone and the obituary. No mention was made of her transition. That was because the family elected to NOT carry out the deceased's wishes because they were embarrassed by her transition and they consdered her mentally ill. Her friends she had made after her transition and surgery had a separate memorial for HER to which the family was invited. None showed for the event.

Thats why I am going for cremation and to Hades with the opinion of those who think I am not playing with a full deck. I believe the same about them, and their conservative religion and political views are the culprit for why we do not speak anymore. That was their choice, not mine. I at least have an estate executor who is more than willing to take care of my wishes (providing I don't out live him!).

Carolynn

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Tue Nov 15, 2011 7:42 am

I plan to do the same. The body is an empty vessel once I have died, and might as well be put to some good use. Both my parents donated their bodies, and most likely they were given to medical students to cut up.

My inlaws choose cremation, and are now happily nourishing the plants in our garden, buried right next to each other. Except for the ashes that a few family members licked off their fingers after burying them.

Zari