Well it's time for another crossdressers special staycation. My wife left to go visit family down south today so I am here alone for a week. Yes that thing we love...........
Today was quiet. I drove her to the airport, got home, tidied up a bit and went for a walk. Then I had two client meetings and went to the gym. By time I was home again it was about 8. I'd stayed totally en homme so far, but I put on all my winter outdoor clothes except a skirt, along with my fleece, hat and gloves which are pretty unisex. Drove the car to the shop and dropped it off to have work done on it tomorrow (monday) and walked home. It was a beautiful cold and windy New England winter night, lacking only actual snow. I put on my nice warm fleece skirt and watched Law and Order.
I walked about 5 miles today. I remember posting about one of these vacations a few years ago when I could barely make it around the block. I am truly greatful that things have improved.
Each year when I do this I have less and less to post. Hopefully something will be worth writing about. But for now I'm tired and going to bed soon.
Zari
vacation
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Susan
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Anita
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Hi Zari--
Even if you don't write much about it, it has a ritualistic quality to it that I like. I've read about the ones that went before, and I get a picture of you up there in the Northeast, being the White lady of the forest, and watching Law and Order while the stove or the fireplace keep you warm.
Like any other journey, a week's vacation might have some rough spots, and I hope you can get something of value out of yours if they occur. The rest of time, have fun!
Even if you don't write much about it, it has a ritualistic quality to it that I like. I've read about the ones that went before, and I get a picture of you up there in the Northeast, being the White lady of the forest, and watching Law and Order while the stove or the fireplace keep you warm.
Like any other journey, a week's vacation might have some rough spots, and I hope you can get something of value out of yours if they occur. The rest of time, have fun!
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Caith
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Absaroka
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Not too much to say today. Went for one short walk, en femme except no skirt, did errands, worked a lot, went to rehearsal (mostly en homme, it just feels dishonest not to)
The Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door twice. I debated answering in my skirt and sweater but decided against it and just ignored it.
Unlike my walk last night, my day was non dramatic. But still fun. I'm amazed at how I run out of time even though I'm alone with no one to make demands on me.
I remember the first time I did this. It was when I began the book that got put here in our "girl autobiographies" I guess I was sort of lonely and the writing was a friend. Boy did I have a lot of fun with that........It played a part in my starting to play my horn(s) again, so it really was a pivotal point in my life. And the genesis was that it was to be a story of someone with two alters, one male and one female. Instead it resurrected a musician. Life is strange...........
Zari
The Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door twice. I debated answering in my skirt and sweater but decided against it and just ignored it.
Unlike my walk last night, my day was non dramatic. But still fun. I'm amazed at how I run out of time even though I'm alone with no one to make demands on me.
I remember the first time I did this. It was when I began the book that got put here in our "girl autobiographies" I guess I was sort of lonely and the writing was a friend. Boy did I have a lot of fun with that........It played a part in my starting to play my horn(s) again, so it really was a pivotal point in my life. And the genesis was that it was to be a story of someone with two alters, one male and one female. Instead it resurrected a musician. Life is strange...........
Zari
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
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Carol Elizabeth
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I like to do a nice stroll - 1/4 to 1/2 mile around 3 am in fem. Couldn't today, too much snow, but at 5:30 am, I was out clearing my sidewalk and driveway in as many feminine garments as I have - including a skirt.
Fortunately, my long coat covers it all except about the bottom 2 inches and one driving by would have to look awfully close to notice it hanging from under my coat.
Outside temperatures are mild for this time of year - low 30's. So with the little work of scraping a half inch of snow off was more than enough work to keep me warm.
Yes - a couple of cars drove by and I just kept working - act normal and people will see normal - at least that's the word I get from forums like this one. - so I did.
No - the sky did not fall - the sun rose on schedule, and all is well in the world.
Fortunately, my long coat covers it all except about the bottom 2 inches and one driving by would have to look awfully close to notice it hanging from under my coat.
Outside temperatures are mild for this time of year - low 30's. So with the little work of scraping a half inch of snow off was more than enough work to keep me warm.
Yes - a couple of cars drove by and I just kept working - act normal and people will see normal - at least that's the word I get from forums like this one. - so I did.
No - the sky did not fall - the sun rose on schedule, and all is well in the world.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
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Absaroka
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Yes those really late night walks fully dressed are fun. Not only the skirt, but the world is so quiet and still then that I feel I'm participating in some big delicious secret, one that has nothing to do with what I'm wearing. However tonight I'm planning to just sit by the fire.
I fell asleep on the couch last night. It was a really odd feeling. I've slept in every room of the house except the kitchen, but always because someone was sick, or I had insomnia and didn't want to disturb my wife, or the kids were scared and needed company. This was my first time doing this when no one was home. It was an odd feeling, as if Zari was taking ownership of the house.
Prior to that I began reading Chaz Bono's autobiography. It's a nice read and he doesn't have any of the bitterness that one sometimes finds in these things. He talks a lot about how his dad accepted him as a tomboy and seemed to like that, all without discussing it. It just was. He talks about some conflict with his parents but is very matter of fact about it. He also makes a bunch of observations about what it's like to grow up transgendered without knowing that one is in fact transgendered. And talks about gender is what your body is, gender orientation is what your mind, or psyche, or whatever, is.
He talks about how he didn't really pay attention to any of this till about age 8. Prior to that he thought that in fact he was a boy, although questions about this began to arise. He also talks about what a horrifying experience puberty is for transgendered people. Prior to puberty, at least for him, he could to some extent push this into the background. But now all of a sudden he was growing boobs, and then having a period. Imagine how horrifying this would be for someone with a male body who was comfortable with being male. Now imagine it in someone who is male but has a female body. Puberty deals mass destruction to any denial that is stilll there.
I remember puberty as not a big deal, till I had to shave. I hated that. I thought putting shaving cream on my face was the grossest thing I could imagine. My solution however was to grow a beard within a few years. It was the shaving, not the facial hair. And that I think is related to something that is part of my crossdressing. I saw being a grown man as being horribly constricting. Go to work at a job you don't like, wear a tie, and DON'T PLAY ANYMORE. Well I like my job, and find lots of ways to play. And for me, crossdressing is a form of play. I may be a grown man, but my female alter is a girl....and a tomboy, since being ladylike is so "mature"
More of the book tonight by the fire.
Had a nice sleep. It's too cold for nightgowns so I slept in my leggings, skirt, sweater and so on. Exactly like my wife does. And like her, I took my bra off, after I woke up on the couch and went to bed. They just aren't meant for sleeping.....
Worked today and took a 3 mile walk all dressed except for my jeans. Later my neighbor asked did I want to go for another walk with him. So I changed and we had a pleasant 2 mile stroll. Part of me didn't want to, so I could stay dressed. But a bigger part of me said that's letting my dressing become isolatory. It was a good walk, we mostly talked about how he is struggling with depression, and I felt like I'd been very supportive of him. This is the same guy who likes to play the Eagles "Witchy Woman" and tell me it's my song. I could probably tell him about my clothing preferences, but I don't feel that's right when I am doing DADT with my wife.
After that was rehearsal. Back to last post. We did Donna Lee tonight. One of those Charlie Parker tunes where the tempos is in measures per second, not beats per second. I remember playing it with this band when I had first picked up my horn again and feeling utterly baffled at the idea that everyone in the band was sight reading it- I remember when the guy brought the arrangement in. It's our own original version. Anyway, it's still challenging, but I was actually able to play it. A very quantifiable yardstick of improvement..... Then back home. I changed into a long brown skirt, leggings, top and purple V neck sweater, very cozy.
Of to the fire. Goodnight ladies.
Zari
I fell asleep on the couch last night. It was a really odd feeling. I've slept in every room of the house except the kitchen, but always because someone was sick, or I had insomnia and didn't want to disturb my wife, or the kids were scared and needed company. This was my first time doing this when no one was home. It was an odd feeling, as if Zari was taking ownership of the house.
Prior to that I began reading Chaz Bono's autobiography. It's a nice read and he doesn't have any of the bitterness that one sometimes finds in these things. He talks a lot about how his dad accepted him as a tomboy and seemed to like that, all without discussing it. It just was. He talks about some conflict with his parents but is very matter of fact about it. He also makes a bunch of observations about what it's like to grow up transgendered without knowing that one is in fact transgendered. And talks about gender is what your body is, gender orientation is what your mind, or psyche, or whatever, is.
He talks about how he didn't really pay attention to any of this till about age 8. Prior to that he thought that in fact he was a boy, although questions about this began to arise. He also talks about what a horrifying experience puberty is for transgendered people. Prior to puberty, at least for him, he could to some extent push this into the background. But now all of a sudden he was growing boobs, and then having a period. Imagine how horrifying this would be for someone with a male body who was comfortable with being male. Now imagine it in someone who is male but has a female body. Puberty deals mass destruction to any denial that is stilll there.
I remember puberty as not a big deal, till I had to shave. I hated that. I thought putting shaving cream on my face was the grossest thing I could imagine. My solution however was to grow a beard within a few years. It was the shaving, not the facial hair. And that I think is related to something that is part of my crossdressing. I saw being a grown man as being horribly constricting. Go to work at a job you don't like, wear a tie, and DON'T PLAY ANYMORE. Well I like my job, and find lots of ways to play. And for me, crossdressing is a form of play. I may be a grown man, but my female alter is a girl....and a tomboy, since being ladylike is so "mature"
More of the book tonight by the fire.
Had a nice sleep. It's too cold for nightgowns so I slept in my leggings, skirt, sweater and so on. Exactly like my wife does. And like her, I took my bra off, after I woke up on the couch and went to bed. They just aren't meant for sleeping.....
Worked today and took a 3 mile walk all dressed except for my jeans. Later my neighbor asked did I want to go for another walk with him. So I changed and we had a pleasant 2 mile stroll. Part of me didn't want to, so I could stay dressed. But a bigger part of me said that's letting my dressing become isolatory. It was a good walk, we mostly talked about how he is struggling with depression, and I felt like I'd been very supportive of him. This is the same guy who likes to play the Eagles "Witchy Woman" and tell me it's my song. I could probably tell him about my clothing preferences, but I don't feel that's right when I am doing DADT with my wife.
After that was rehearsal. Back to last post. We did Donna Lee tonight. One of those Charlie Parker tunes where the tempos is in measures per second, not beats per second. I remember playing it with this band when I had first picked up my horn again and feeling utterly baffled at the idea that everyone in the band was sight reading it- I remember when the guy brought the arrangement in. It's our own original version. Anyway, it's still challenging, but I was actually able to play it. A very quantifiable yardstick of improvement..... Then back home. I changed into a long brown skirt, leggings, top and purple V neck sweater, very cozy.
Of to the fire. Goodnight ladies.
Zari
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
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Caith
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It's really good that you enjoyed sharing a walk with your neighbor. Depression is terrible, especially when it makes you feel terribly alone. I'm certain your generous friendship greatly helped your neighbor cope.-
Absaroka
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It was a nice day. Except for when I went to the gym I had my leggings, bra, slip, top and sweater on all day, including shopping for groceries and meeting with clients, who were oblivious to it all. I did remove my little AA inserts for the client meeting. Returning from the gym, it almost seemed like a chore to put on my skirt and the rest of the ensemble.
Fell asleep on the couch by the fire last night. Then I got up and went to bed. I actually put on a nightgown as it was warmer last night.
No walk today, as I was too busy with work. I'll try to get one in tomorrow. Now, at 11:45 pm, would be a great time but I'm just too tired.
I'm trying to think of how do I feel, being dressed so much. It's hard to describe. Not exciting, like in the past. Just sort of relaxed. I am feeling more and more that they are my clothes, not some sort of toy or costume. Which leads to the little zen idea. I'm a man and these are my clothes. Therefore they are mens dresses, skirts, lingerie........I'll leave you all with that odd thought.
Zari
Fell asleep on the couch by the fire last night. Then I got up and went to bed. I actually put on a nightgown as it was warmer last night.
No walk today, as I was too busy with work. I'll try to get one in tomorrow. Now, at 11:45 pm, would be a great time but I'm just too tired.
I'm trying to think of how do I feel, being dressed so much. It's hard to describe. Not exciting, like in the past. Just sort of relaxed. I am feeling more and more that they are my clothes, not some sort of toy or costume. Which leads to the little zen idea. I'm a man and these are my clothes. Therefore they are mens dresses, skirts, lingerie........I'll leave you all with that odd thought.
Zari
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
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Absaroka
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Work, walk, practice, rehearsal, a bunch of driving. Except for going to the gym and rehersal I've been wearing mostly my girl clothes all day, except for jeans on my walk. That means a bra for most of the last couple days. Not something that usually happens for that amount of time.
I went shopping on the way to rehearsal. A couple of years ago for halloween I got a bra for my outfit that I gave to my wife after. It's a lightweight modal bralette by Barely There. She's repeatedly told me it's the most comfortable bra she's ever worn. So I went to the mall which is on the way to rehearsal and went to several stores. I explained to the clerk just what I've just typed and pulled the bra out of my coat pocket, asking if they had anything like it. No one did, and it appears to have been discontinued. However in 2 stores they found me something sort of like it, so I bought one in each store. I'll have my wife try them and if she likes them get more. If not I'll either return them or keep them, not sure. I'm wearing one of them now and it's pretty comfortable. Also got myself a night gown.
The SAs were completely matter of fact about this and one of them told me that she hopes my wife realizes she has an absolutely wonderful husband. That was very nice of her.
Totally non cross dressing. I played a short solo on the trombone tonight. Not something I usually do, I still don't have a real great feel for where all the notes are. But I practiced the chord changes in advance and it came out not bad.
Goodnight, ladies.
Zari
I went shopping on the way to rehearsal. A couple of years ago for halloween I got a bra for my outfit that I gave to my wife after. It's a lightweight modal bralette by Barely There. She's repeatedly told me it's the most comfortable bra she's ever worn. So I went to the mall which is on the way to rehearsal and went to several stores. I explained to the clerk just what I've just typed and pulled the bra out of my coat pocket, asking if they had anything like it. No one did, and it appears to have been discontinued. However in 2 stores they found me something sort of like it, so I bought one in each store. I'll have my wife try them and if she likes them get more. If not I'll either return them or keep them, not sure. I'm wearing one of them now and it's pretty comfortable. Also got myself a night gown.
The SAs were completely matter of fact about this and one of them told me that she hopes my wife realizes she has an absolutely wonderful husband. That was very nice of her.
Totally non cross dressing. I played a short solo on the trombone tonight. Not something I usually do, I still don't have a real great feel for where all the notes are. But I practiced the chord changes in advance and it came out not bad.
Goodnight, ladies.
Zari
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
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Anita
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Hi Zari--
You're winding down the vacation now. Does your wife come in today, or over the weekend?
It can be nice to talk to the clerks at the stores about clothing that has some meaning for you. The clothes I bought at the beginning of my time as a woman still have a lot of meaning for me. It's fun to talk about them with other women, which is something I could never had imagined doing before.
How many songs do you play trombone on?
You're winding down the vacation now. Does your wife come in today, or over the weekend?
It can be nice to talk to the clerks at the stores about clothing that has some meaning for you. The clothes I bought at the beginning of my time as a woman still have a lot of meaning for me. It's fun to talk about them with other women, which is something I could never had imagined doing before.
How many songs do you play trombone on?
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Absaroka
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She returns Sunday. So there is one more day of vacay.
No rehearsal tonight. I went for a long walk with my neighbor, very pleasant. Also a couple of shorter ones, one in the morning and one just as it was getting dark. It was so beautiful out I just had to do it again.
I sure hope my wife likes her new bras. I alternated between them today and they are both quite comfortable, if she doesn't like them instead of returning them I'll just keep them.
I was thinking about what I posted last night about the last few days I've worn a bra most of the day, just taking the inserts out when I had to meet with clients or something. It's kind of fun, but I can see where it could get quite tiresome, especially for women at the gym.
It's funny how mood or whim influences what I wear. It's cold enough to need a sweater and I have several nice ones, all warm and comfortable. But one just seemed right, and the others didn't. I don't have that sort of reaction to my guy clothes.
As I said it's too cold for a nightgown. I made a sort of makeshift one last night, a voluminous "peasant dress" worn over leggings and cami with a sweater over it. It turned out to be very comfy.
We had some logs from a tree that came down during our October snowstorm. I finally got around to bringing them all in today. Right at dusk (the incredible beauty of the cold and twilight was what prompted another walk). Carrying them in my skirt and sweater reminded me of the feeling that I sometimes have, that while wearing womens clothing out doors I am somehow more attuned to nature. Probably an illusion, but a fun one. Maybe because the clothes are more sensual I'm more attuned to the sensuality of the out doors. A couple of years ago I wound up sleeping on the porch in the same sweater, but it's too cold for that now.
Question for everyone. Does anyone else here ever feel like when they dress they've become their own imaginary friend? Not in the sense of a sexual fantasy, which I'm sure quite a few of us, me included, have also done. But just sort of companionship to yourself with your alter.
Maybe it's just me. No one ever accused me of having a dull inner life......
Good night ladies
Zari
No rehearsal tonight. I went for a long walk with my neighbor, very pleasant. Also a couple of shorter ones, one in the morning and one just as it was getting dark. It was so beautiful out I just had to do it again.
I sure hope my wife likes her new bras. I alternated between them today and they are both quite comfortable, if she doesn't like them instead of returning them I'll just keep them.
I was thinking about what I posted last night about the last few days I've worn a bra most of the day, just taking the inserts out when I had to meet with clients or something. It's kind of fun, but I can see where it could get quite tiresome, especially for women at the gym.
It's funny how mood or whim influences what I wear. It's cold enough to need a sweater and I have several nice ones, all warm and comfortable. But one just seemed right, and the others didn't. I don't have that sort of reaction to my guy clothes.
As I said it's too cold for a nightgown. I made a sort of makeshift one last night, a voluminous "peasant dress" worn over leggings and cami with a sweater over it. It turned out to be very comfy.
We had some logs from a tree that came down during our October snowstorm. I finally got around to bringing them all in today. Right at dusk (the incredible beauty of the cold and twilight was what prompted another walk). Carrying them in my skirt and sweater reminded me of the feeling that I sometimes have, that while wearing womens clothing out doors I am somehow more attuned to nature. Probably an illusion, but a fun one. Maybe because the clothes are more sensual I'm more attuned to the sensuality of the out doors. A couple of years ago I wound up sleeping on the porch in the same sweater, but it's too cold for that now.
Question for everyone. Does anyone else here ever feel like when they dress they've become their own imaginary friend? Not in the sense of a sexual fantasy, which I'm sure quite a few of us, me included, have also done. But just sort of companionship to yourself with your alter.
Maybe it's just me. No one ever accused me of having a dull inner life......
Good night ladies
Zari
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
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Paula G
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Very brave, I find playing an improvised solo more intimidating than anything else I have done, and that includes the first time out dressed, conducting the band, stand up comedy, giving a presentation to a room full of fellow professionals, or a speech at social functions (weddings etc.). One of the things about a trombone is that there are lots of other notes in between the ones you want. One "trick" which I like is lip slurs in counter-motion to the slide, so tighten the lips while extending the slide and vice verse, another is to find a notes that is in several of the chords and just hold it for several bars. I'm not sure this works on other instruments ~trumpets saxes etc.~ but it does sound good on the trombone.Absaroka wrote: Totally non cross dressing. I played a short solo on the trombone tonight. Not something I usually do, I still don't have a real great feel for where all the notes are. But I practiced the chord changes in advance and it came out not bad.
Paula
Just because you don't believe it, that doesn't mean it's not true
Just because you don't believe it, that doesn't mean it's not true
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Absaroka
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The lips slur in contrary motion to the slide works well. Middle A to B natural for example. The common tones are always good to know, as is good old reliable 7 to 3 in ii7 V7 I and so on. In this song were a lot of minor 6/9 chords, and I particularly like the 9th in those chords.
Yoyo Ma said that improvising publicly for the first time was the most frightening event in his entire musical career. He was already very widely acclaimed at that time. He also said it was the most exhilarating.
I watched Unstoppable last night. A great train movie for those of us who like trains. Today is clean up- vacuum and mop and that sort of thing.
Back to the subject of our forums. I've had about a week when most of the time I was at least partially dressed and more than 50% of the time I was at least mostly dressed, including the aforementioned bra. What I found is that it became somewhat unremarkable. They became merely clothes.
Usually at the end of one of these vacations I look forward to returning to male attire. This time I don't even quite feel that. It's really sort of neutral.
In the past I've often had the vision of the clothes not wanting to return to their box, but wanting to stay out in my closet. I have that same thought now, that they have a mind of their own. I guess that's a stand in for my own feelings.
I've really enjoyed my week to myself. I'm very aware that this is only possible because my wife will be returning. I would not want to live alone
I guess you all can consider this a postcard from vacation. Of to cleaning....
Zari
Yoyo Ma said that improvising publicly for the first time was the most frightening event in his entire musical career. He was already very widely acclaimed at that time. He also said it was the most exhilarating.
I watched Unstoppable last night. A great train movie for those of us who like trains. Today is clean up- vacuum and mop and that sort of thing.
Back to the subject of our forums. I've had about a week when most of the time I was at least partially dressed and more than 50% of the time I was at least mostly dressed, including the aforementioned bra. What I found is that it became somewhat unremarkable. They became merely clothes.
Usually at the end of one of these vacations I look forward to returning to male attire. This time I don't even quite feel that. It's really sort of neutral.
In the past I've often had the vision of the clothes not wanting to return to their box, but wanting to stay out in my closet. I have that same thought now, that they have a mind of their own. I guess that's a stand in for my own feelings.
I've really enjoyed my week to myself. I'm very aware that this is only possible because my wife will be returning. I would not want to live alone
I guess you all can consider this a postcard from vacation. Of to cleaning....
Zari
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon