Finally told my Mom

Michelle M · Post by **Michelle M** » Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:16 pm

I came out of the closet a couple years ago.to my wife. I've wanted to tell my mom for a while, but I am always worried about what people's reactions would be. I was really worried about my mom because I only have one and if she freaked out about it, It's not like I can go find another mom like I could if friends freaked out. In preparation of telling my mom, I decided to tell my brother first. I figured being a bit younger that he'd be more receptive. He was actually receptive. His response was essentially "well you were alread weird, I guess you're just a bit weirder." He was really not a lot of help about how my mom would react. So I put off telling her about it a bit longer.

It's been around 8 months since I told my brother. I finally was able to get down and visit my mom for the weekend. (I live about 5 hours away). I didn't tell her at other visits because of other family members or events. So this weekend was a social visit and I figured would be a good opportunity to tell her about it.

We were sitting in the living room. I told her that I wanted to talk to her about something. I just laid it out there that I was a Crossdresser. After a long "oooookay", we continued on with the conversation. We discussed the differences between crossdressers/transexuals/homosexuals/drag queens. My mom expressed her concerns. Her main concern was that she didn't want my dressing affecting my marraige or my job. Other than that, her view was "as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, she doesn't have a problem with it." It was nice to hear my mom say that.

On another note, my brother talked to me afterwards. He had seen my photos on Facebook. He tried to tell me that I looked good while dressed. He admitted it felt weird to tell his brother that he made a pretty decent looking she. It was sort of amusing. At least it lets me know he's cool with it. Also, the fact he gave me the compliment means he really means it.

Michelle

CharLee · Post by **CharLee** » Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:04 pm

Way to go Michelle, isn't it a great feeling to get that monkey off your back.

I'm glad your mom took the news in stride, but us older folks generally can handle things that are out of the norm for most people. So when do you expect to show mom the real Michelle, not just pictures.

It's also nice that your brother was ok with the news of Michelle and that he complimented you on how good you look en femme. Maybe some day he will take Michelle out for lunch or dinner.

In any event, you now don't have to worry about being seen en femme by them anymore.

Once again, CONGRADULATIONS

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:58 pm

Hi Michelle—
Yeah, that’s got to feel better now. Telling siblings and parents is a big deal, and it’s great when it’s out of the way and done.

Post by **DonnaT** » Mon Feb 27, 2012 11:03 pm

Very nice, Michelle. Sounds like a cool family.

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 7:07 am

Feels good doesn't it?, all that worry gone. I agree with CharLee time for
Michelle to be seen

Leeza · Post by **Leeza** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:02 am

Hi Michelle,

I am glad you got that weight off of your back and things went good for you.

I was never able to tell my Mom. When I was a teenager she had come unglued when she found out that I had been wearing earrings so I never felt comfortable about talking to her about other related things later.

I do remember the relief though when I told my Dad, sister and brother.

I felt that my Dad and I were closer after I told him.

My brothers reaction was "so?". Years later, after he had died, his wife told me that he "had a shoe fetish".

Although my sister knew years ago, she was the one I needed to be accepting when I came out of the closet. I was worried as I knew our upbringing. Also at the time she was studying to be a minister. When I told her I was surprised as we had quit a long discussion and are still close.

Again, Michelle, I am happy for you and happy for the outcome.

Leeza

Post by **KimberlyS** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 1:34 pm

Michelle I am glad it went well for you.

Ralitsa · Post by **Ralitsa** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 5:00 pm

Great news!!! congratulations Michelle

I like that part your brother said

well you were alread weird, I guess you're just a bit weirder."

many of my friends reacted the same way. Now my standard answer whenever someone asks me why I like CDing is "everyone knows I'm weird, I never pretended to be normal".

I'm glad your family took it so well, life is a lot easier when you don't have to worry about them accidentally finding out.

Rikki · Post by **Rikki** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 5:48 pm

Way to go, MM!!

Rikki

Davita · Post by **Davita** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 9:21 pm

Finnnnnaaaallllyyyyyy...... *sigh* bet that was such a relief! I'm so glad Mom took it like a mom. Glad your brother was okay too, of course.

Honestly, it surprised me that you told your brother first. I guess you had that inside track with him that is a bit different than with Mom. So Mom practices what she preached, huh?

Good going! Good family.

Michelle M · Post by **Michelle M** » Wed Feb 29, 2012 6:24 am

Thanks for the kind words. I don't know when Mom will meet Michelle. She may never or she may next month. I told her it was up to her when and if she met me dressed. Even though my Mom seemed accepting, I didn't want to push too far or too fast with her either.

As for telling my brother, I told him first because he was always the more easy going type. He used to have those big holes in his ears. I figured that along with other things meant he'd be more receptive.

Erica S · Post by **Erica S** » Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:00 am

Michelle, Glad to hear it went well!!

Hugs, Erica

Kyra · Post by **Kyra** » Sat Mar 03, 2012 1:07 pm

That's great, Michelle! Congrats!

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » Tue Mar 06, 2012 1:15 pm

Acceptance is both relief and joy.

Stephanie H · Post by **Stephanie H** » Sun Mar 11, 2012 7:38 pm

A very heavy burden has been lifted.
Send a thank you note to your mother, "Thanking her for the nice conversation". It will go a long way to assure her that all is well and safe. The note is a lot better than a phone call... She will be able to hold it, feel it and keep it safe next to her heart for a long time.