A Little Help?

[Emma H.]

Hello
I'm looking for some advice.
And I was wondering if you could help me. I'm lucky to be friends with an FtM CD, and so we both got dressed, she said I look good, but I can't help doubt her statement.
Have any of you heard of Chris Crocker? He's a part of the YouTube community, also occasionally dresses as a girl, and I'm BLOWN AWAY at how pretty he was as a girl!
Now I know maybe crossdressing isn't all about looking pretty, it's about being a girl, having fun, etc.
But I can't help but wonder, how can I look more like a pretty girl?

[Davita]

Emma,
Oh what a loaded question. The sarcastic answer would be, don't start off as an ugly boy.

Now the correct answer and it's a cliche'... beauty starts from the inside. Be confident, be happy. These two things are a good start. One of the things I have noticed over the years is when a girl doesn't smile for her pictures, she not nearly as pretty as that one where she finally does. What kind of pretty are you looking for? Do you want the be the girl next door? Glamorous? Do you just want to ooze sex? Myself, I love the girl next door; I tend to find them to be the prettiest.

And to ramble a bit more.... Part of the girl next door look is minimal makeup. You can always visit the department store cosmetic counters and ask questions. If you can, get a makeover and let them try a few different looks on you if they and you both have the time.

Over the years, I'm just glad to not be scary. Looking forward to seeing your progress.

[Ralitsa]

Hi Emma,
don't feel bad about asking that question, basically every girl is wondering how she can be prettier.
Ha, it's not an easy answer. We spend piles of money on cute clothes, make-up, hair styles, pantyhose, shoes, and spend hours reading Elle and Vogue for fashion tips and advice. And we still think we are not pretty enough. Welcome to the club!!
Anyway, I think that I've progressed from being ugly as a cow to borderline pretty, and it takes a lot of trial and error. You need to find the styles and the look that works for you. I've seen so many cute girls that I wanted to be, but I can't. Also, you would be amazed at the help you can get if you throw yourself on the mercy of the experts. Ususally when I go to get my hair done, and they ask me what I would like I just tell them "make me look better, do whatever you need to do." They've done it all before and can tell you what looks good on you.

[Paula G]

I think that a lot of it is down to confidence, there are some things we can't do anything about ~ my chin is way too big ~ and there are some things we can help, clothes and make up choices etc. so do what you can, don't worry about what you can't and enjoy the ride. Oh and yes practise helps

[Emma H.]

See, I would post a pic of me all dressed up, but I'm afraid of the potential pedobears. Lol
Also cuz I can't really find a good pic. On an iPod with a front facing camera, you decide to take a few glamour shots. In the preview it looks good. So you take the picture, and you review it, but it's flipped. And you notice when it's flipped, it doesn't look as good. Lol

[Emma H.]

Hi Emma,
don't feel bad about asking that question, basically every girl is wondering how she can be prettier.
Ha, it's not an easy answer. We spend piles of money on cute clothes, make-up, hair styles, pantyhose, shoes, and spend hours reading Elle and Vogue for fashion tips and advice. And we still think we are not pretty enough. Welcome to the club!!
Anyway, I think that I've progressed from being ugly as a cow to borderline pretty, and it takes a lot of trial and error. You need to find the styles and the look that works for you. I've seen so many cute girls that I wanted to be, but I can't. Also, you would be amazed at the help you can get if you throw yourself on the mercy of the experts. Ususally when I go to get my hair done, and they ask me what I would like I just tell them "make me look better, do whatever you need to do." They've done it all before and can tell you what looks good on you.

I should, but I'm so shy. I go to the mall every so often, and in that mall there's a Macy's. I've watched them do makeovers on people, just not any guys. I can't go out as Emma, being a closeted CD. But I can't help but wonder if they charge anything for a makeover.

[Paula G]

The make overs are usually free (here in the UK at any rate) as they are promotional in as much as they want you to buy the product. I have had a couple of makeovers in department stores and have found that the Lancomb girls are particularly helpful ~ so I have ended up buying their product. I have also had my eyebrows done, that hurts a bit but makes a big difference. I have always found that the girls are most helpful and understanding, when they are that close up there is no way they don't know that I'm a bloke, but it is never mentioned, unless there is a reverence to using concealer on my neck to cover the beard line ~ and then they are very sensitive. This all makes me think that they see more of us than most of us would expect.

[DonnaT]

Paula, like the new avatar!

[Davita]

yeah Paula, good avatar

Emma, Macy's is free. Questions are freer The girls will not have an issue with you asking questions unless they are busy and you're underfoot. This holds true in all departments. So ask away. Visit the dress department and see what's the better style dress for your body shape after you get a few makeup answers. Heck, ask the makeup girls about outfits.

enjoy

[Liz S (SO)]

I agree with Paula G. The most attractive trait in either gender is confidence. Having self confidence can be the thing that really makes you exude that little extra something special!

[Anthony Simon]

Seeing as how I can't get a good enough picture to post, I'm probably the last person who should be answering this but...

Only members of the forum can see your pics (i.e. unlike the discussion threads they're not public access). If you have any worries on that score...

When I get dressed up, it seems like a whole collection of different feminizing things (makeup, wig, padding, feminine clothes etc) eventually coalesce to create the effect of a woman in the mirror. It's not like any one thing that makes me look prettier, but a whole lot that adds up to convince my brain that there's a woman looking back. But everyone has specific problems - like I've got a square jaw, prominent adam's apple and naturally bushy out-of control eyebrows - that work against me looking feminine. To look at one of them, last night I trimmed by brows (as one would trim a beard) back and made them neat. To me, that didn't really change my appearance as a man (like I still looked like me) much - but when I'm dressed up, I think it does go with the rest of the stuff the help the effect.

So I think you probably need to work out what you think your problems are and ask specific questions - because how I can I be prettier is kind of a bit wide and hard to answer.

Chris Crocker does make a convincing woman. But I think he starts off as a rather feminine-looking man. Like he has very feminine eyes and quite slight features. With makeup and the allowing of the feminine side out that dressing encourages, I can see how he might create the effect that he does.

From what I read, he's an effeminate gay. So he's got a self-image which already allows a lot of feminine traits to be expressed. For most people here, they have an everyday self-image as male, without obviously feminine traits. Either that means that one's feminine side is more repressed and one has a harder job getting it to come out (at least initially) when dressing up - or one doesn't have that much feminine side to come out in the first place. Personally I think that's the determing factor - how much woman comes out when you dress up.

Like you get made up and do the clothes and all the rest of it - but it's still just a whole bunch of stuff that you're waiting for some feminine aspect of yourself to animate.

[Ralitsa]

I should have given you a little context Emma, because you don't really know much about me. I wear women clothes all the time, and usually wear some make-up even if it's only lipstick and a little powder.
But I don't really try to "pass" and if anyone is paying close attention they will know I'm not a woman. But I don't accept the idea that it is necessary to be a woman for me to wear dresses, get my nails done, or wear make-up. I think this is a very important point because it shifts the question from "how can I look like a woman" to "how can I look pretty", without the seeming requirement for pretty and woman to be synonomous.
And it makes it easier for those who are giving you fashion advice. Because it is a much easier task to have a man look nice wearing a dress than it is to have a dress disguise the man as a woman. I have a friend that I go shopping with who has a good eye for what looks nice on me, and she doesn't try to disguise the fact I'm a guy. She will say things like "your shoulders are too broad for that top", and "you have too many muscles for that", and she would say, if she wasn't so polite "you don't have any cleavage so you can't wear that."
So I would say that the first thing you should decide is what you want to accomplish, do you want to look like a woman or do you just want to wear pretty things and look good in them. Each of us has our own answer for that.
My goal is to be able to look good in pretty things, and to have a girlfriend with whom I can go shopping, share clothes, get our nails done, and...... other stuff
But if you do go for a make-over I would really suggest that you do it wearing the clothes to go with it. There are guys who wear make-up and get their nails done in total male-mode, I guess they are not CDers at all but just want to look good. And if that's your plan then it's best to wear guy clothes. But if you want to look pretty in a particular dress, then you really should be wearing that dress when you get the make-over, so that the shades and colors of the make-up they choose matches what you're wearing. Like it would be totally inappropriate to have really glamorous hair and make-up if you're only wearing an old jean skirt and casual tunic, for example.
And if you don't want to go to Macy's in the mall where everyone can see you, there are salons that will give you a make-over and often you can arrange for it to be done in private. They will charge you for it unless you buy a lot of their product. Last time I did that I spent $250 there, and loved it so much I went back and bought my daughter a gift certificate for it.

[Michelle M]

Confidence plays a big part of it. Also, knowing how to blend in to the crowd is important. I used to like to wear only dresses and skirts and heels, but as I progressed, I realized that not many GG wear that on a daily basis so I toned it down a bit to look more casual when out shopping or whatever (although I still wear heels all the time I'm out.)

I'll re-iterate about the photos. Only your avatar photo on here is accessible to people outside of the forum. Everything in the gallery is protected. I'd suggest posting a tasteful picture of what you'd wear out shopping or whatever and then ask for some constructive criticism, but if you're not comfortable with that, then you don't have to.