Why do I feel like this.

[Sally]

I guess all of us at some time have wondered why we feel as we do and what drives us so compulsively from an early age to seek out clothing of the opposite sex. I know over my life as I progressed to each level with my gender conflict, I always knew within me that how I felt and what I needed to do was not a conscious choice, as so many times, especially in my twenties, several times I tried to walk away from any crossdressing and tried to concentrate my energies in other areas to try and keep my mind off it all. I suppose the longest time I ever went without the compulsion overtaking me was from when I was married, until the honeymoon was over, then it was business as usual with my female wardrobe.

I know many of us have debated over the years the why's and wherefores which we each believe, and probably at this stage no one is more right or wrong than the other, but I recently read an article regarding a study done by UCLA and published last October in the journal, ' Molecular Brain Research' and this study also suggests ( as others have ) that sexual identity is hard wired into the brain before birth and may offer physicians a tool for gender assignment of babies born with ambiguous genitalia.

It has long been a firm belief of mine that regarding how our brain is wired during the fetal stage, has the resultant effects on us which compells us to crossdress or suffer more severe gender conflict.

One particular sentence in the report, written by Dr Eric Vilain, assistant professor of human genetics and urology at UCLA states, and I quote, " Our findings may help answer an important question - why do we feel male or female. Sexual identity is rooted in every person's biology before birth and springs from a variation in our individual genome" Unquote.

This study not only confirms what many people have believed for a long time, but it also dispells the theory which many scientists held for the last 35 years, that testosterone and estrogen were wholly responsible for sexually organising our brain. The long held old belief was that a fetal brain merely had to produce a larger ratio of estrogen to produce a female and vice versa. Recent evidence however now indicates that hormones cannot explain everything.

Dr Vilain and his colleagues studied whether genetic influences could explain the variations between male and female brains. To their surprise they discovered 54 genes produced in different amounts in male and female brains, prior to hormonal influence. Dr Vilain said, " We didn't expect to find genetic differences between the sexes' brains, but we discovered that the male and female brains differed in many measurable ways, including anatomy and function."

He also said, "Our research implies that genes account for some of the differences between male and female brains. we believe that one's genes, hormones and environment exert a combined influence on sexual brain development."

They are pursuing further studies to distinguish specific roles in the brain's sexual maturation for each of the 54 different genes they identified. The results of this further research hopefully will reveal insight into how the brain determines gender identity.

He also said, " Our findings may explain why we feel male or female, regardless of our actual anatomy, these discoveries lend credence to the idea that being transgender - feeling that one has been born into the body of the wrong sex - is a state of mind. From previous studies, we know that transgender persons possess normal hormonal levels, their gender identity likely will be explained by some of the genes we discovered."

About 1/3000 births result in the docotr not being able to tell the parents whether they have a boy or a girl, and there are tens of millions of cases around the world each year where malformed genitalia of a mild case occur. This all supports on going facts which have for a long time made me believe that if there can be a major malfunction in the hard wiring of our brain at the fetal stage, which causes some of us to have a different sexual identity to that of our anatomical presentation, then it is more than likely that milder malfunctions are responsible for why people desire to crossdress to varying degrees.

They are also hoping the study not only provides answers to why people have gender conflicts and why people are transgendered, they are hoping it conclusively provides answers to homosexuality.
Vilain said, "It's quite possible that sexual identity and physical attraction is 'hard wired' by the brain, if we accept this concept, we must dismiss the myth that homosexuality is a ' choice ' and examine our civil legal system accordingly.

This study corroborates other studies done round the world where the investigating medical scientists were led to believe that how the brain is wired in the fetal stage, is responsible for the more serious case of peoples variations in sexual identity right down to mild cases of briefly assuming opposite sex roles and the wearing of their clothing etc.

I realise that when scientists do find conclusive proof of what makes these things happen, it won't effect how we feel or what we need to do, life will still go on the same, but as Vilain said, it will give us the ammunition required to demand law makers around the world amend their legislations and give everyone equal rights and bring everyone under the same umbrella. This is another cog in the wheel, which is ever so slowly turning in our favour.

Kind Regards to all.

Sally.

[Alexandra]

. . I realise that when scientists do find conclusive proof of what makes these things happen, it won't effect how we feel or what we need to do, life will still go on the same, but as Vilain said, it will give us the ammunition required to demand law makers around the world amend their legislations and give everyone equal rights and bring everyone under the same umbrella. This is another cog in the wheel, which is ever so slowly turning in our favour.

When conclusive proof does surface, a large part of the population is still going to fight us tooth and nail, so in preparation for that we should be lobbying our lawmakers (and educating the public) to grant equal rights now by arguing that it is the right thing to do in a civilized society.

[Beauty]

Hi Sally,

That was a great post!

I hadn't heard of that study and really appreciate you posting the findings that came from it.

I would love it if I could explain to my family that it's just the way I was born vs. it's a choice I decided to make. It would also explain why when I was 5 I was already CDing.

Thank you Sally!!! You're a great Sheila from down under!

Beauty

[Lorna]

I realise that when scientists do find conclusive proof of what makes these things happen, it won't effect how we feel or what we need to do, life will still go on the same, but as Vilain said, it will give us the ammunition required to demand law makers around the world amend their legislations and give everyone equal rights and bring everyone under the same umbrella. This is another cog in the wheel, which is ever so slowly turning in our favour.

This will indeed be one small step for man, and one giant LEAP for the entire TG community!

[Virginia]

Sally, Sally , Sally, you are wonderful! I think I can speak of all our sisters, - Thanks for all you work and research on this. I still say that not only are we (CD'ers) wired differently as science is learning - we are wired BETTER. Not only do we get the "benefits and rewards" that come with our feminine side, but we are also blessed with the mental aspects of better understanding "the other half of the population."
Love, Deborah

[Sally]

Hello Alexandra,

Yes, you are absolutely right, if any headway is to be made then it needs people to stand up and make themselves heard in the right places. We all realise that it is impossible for everyone to be up on the frontline, circumstances don't allow some and indeed a lot of people are content to go on living as they are and don't require additional freedoms etc.

It doesn't only require people to be seen, we must also be heard. It takes people whose circumstances allow them to beat the drum loudly and publicly, to make enough noise for the future benefit of all those who must remain indiscreet. People have to wear a track into politicians offices and drive them crazy to the point where they sit up and listen, before any headway can be made. States need legislation which protects all people from discrimination of any kind whatsoever. It's a long slow tedious process but it does work if we can gather enough 'soldiers' to form an effect 'army'.

If anyone is interested, there is ample proof of what can be achieved at this website.....http://www.gendercentre.org.au/
When you enter the site, if you scroll down until you come to Elizabeth Anne's speech on Transgender and Transsexual Issues and click on that, it will show you her speech she made last year when she addressed our state parliament. She made some very pertinent points to the members regarding how difficult it can be for TG people to find employment which enables them to work as their true self. One point I have always stressed to employers and politicians is this.......The fact that we may wear a dress to do our job, does that make us do our job inferior to if we wore trousers? I think not, I know it doesn't, don't we all.
This site also gives good reading into how our Anti Discrimination legislation works and what it can achieve for every transgendered person.

For the purposes of the statutes, Transgender is described as........

Transgender means a person of one sex who:
· (a) assumes any of the characteristics of the other sex, whether by medical intervention (including a reassignment procedure) or otherwise; or
· (b) identifies himself or herself as a member of the other sex; or
· (c) lives or seeks to live as a member of the other sex; or
· (d) attempts to be, or identifies himself or herself as, a transsexual.

You do not have to have had any "sex change" or other surgery. You do not have to have taken any hormones in the past, or to be taking them now. It does not matter what your gender was at birth. It does not matter which gender is your preferred gender. It does not matter why you are transgender. It does not matter how you describe or "label" yourself (for example, as transgender, trany, transsexual, or something else). What matters is how you live and behave, or how you want to live and behave. If you fit any one of the "rules" listed above, then the anti-discrimination law counts you as transgender.
In addition, if someone treats you unfairly just because they think you're transgender and/or they think you're homosexual/lesbian then the anti-discrimination law covers you. It does not matter whether you are transgender, or whether you are homosexual/lesbian. What matters is what other people think you are.

.............................................

This broad base then covers everyone from those who wish to adopt a female characteristic by wearing females clothes, right through to people born homosexual or intersexed.

I realise that all this won't interest everyone but I thought those people who are active in support or lobby groups may be able to take something from it all for their own effective use or for the benefit of others. I believe it has to be a world wide effort to try and effect changes so that we can make the path for those coming behind us easier than it has been for a lot of us, because as long as there are human beings being born there will be people who have different needs and wants. Mother nature doesn't use the same receipe all the time, she never has and she never will.

My Kindest Regards to all.

Sally.

[Joanna_S]

Wow! I couldn´t agree more with you Deborah I´ve always thought it´s a blessing to be able to enjoy both sides and if there was a pill to "cure" me, I most definately wouldn´t take it

[Danielle La Belle]

Hi Girls:

I am about 80% done with my first reading of "My Husband Betty," by, Helen Boyd (the g2 spouse).

I have read everything in this post and wanted to compliment "Sally" for her efforts in providing the UCLA study. Unfortunately, there is still a long way to go before society in general (western society) will accept anything other than what is considered "birth normal."

Consider how often we as a culture will automatically put someone on center stage for just being different. We as a culture seem to enjoy making sport of others differences, weather they be physical or mental in presentation. Of course, physical is the easiest characteristic to pick up on and identify as different. As we tend to naturally adopt religion and other similar concepts into our lives, it appears that as a matter of "survial of the most fit," we cluster together in "clicks" or "groups", "birds of a feather." et al, and we adopt the groups philosophy including any type of social isolation habits. Exclude, class, gender, etc.

I often think about the fact that people forget, we did not put a check mark on a list of traits that you order just before birth. People seem to need others to hate or dislike or practice social predjudice against as a matter of social protection. "join us and be one of us" or face our rath and discouragement.

It is lonely standing alone on any topic and even more so when just standing alone in a crowded room without the acceptance of the majority present, regardless of how brave we may be, we are still on the outside, looking in!

[Sally]

Well Danielle, your last two paragraphs certainly put it in a nutshell.

The truth of it all is that humanity always needs a scapegoat, in our case, society heaps it's fears, ignorance and insecurities regarding gender identity issues upon us to aleviate their own fear of having their own stigmas discovered. Every person harbours some stigma to a degree, but for most people their stigmas are kept hidden or don't appear obvious and these people set themselves up as the 'normal society'. People feel safe within a group and the bigger the group the safer they feel. Those of us who choose to openly display our so called 'stigma', as society puts it, are the ones who 'the normals' set apart, this in turn they believe prevents attention being called to them. Once people begin to segregate others, even just in their minds, then hatred, loathing and fear persists. It's an age old practice that society heaps their own shame on others to appease their own insecurities.

Minority groups are always a soft target for the majority, it's no wonder so many people choose to remain invisible.

My Kindest Regards.

Sally.

[RikkiOfLA]

Sally writes...

Minority groups are always a soft target for the majority, it's no wonder so many people choose to remain invisible.

This is the way of industrial societies, where competition for wealth causes people to exclude each other in order to control more of the wealth. Contrast this with tribal societies, where the tribe seeks to include all its members, because each of the members makes the tribe that much more powerful, that much more able to cope with different circumstances.

So in most tribal societies, there is some kind of a"third gender" for the people who don't fit easily into one gender or another.

Among the Lipan Apache, for example, the shaman, the spiritual leader of the tribe must be a third-gender person. A woman I know, who is Lipan, was not allowed to study to be a shaman because she was not third gender. That changed after ovarian cancer forced her to have a hysterectomy. That made her third gender, and she could study to be a shaman under the old shaman, "Grandmother," who is biologically male but lives as a woman.

The tribal example is useful to teach society that differently-gendered people don't necessarily form a threat to its existence. But I don't foresee industrial society becoming tribal again.

(Reality based television shows introduce the false notion of a "tribe" being a group of strangers who are in competition for the grand prize by one-by-one kicking people out of the "tribe" until it gets down to a "tribe" of two. Then a contest chooses the winner. This is about as untribal as can be!)

[Laura]

Thank you Sally dear for starting this important thread. It's important that we stand up for ourselves (and let's not forget other oppressed minorities) with pride and dignity. It seems to me that whether or not we engage in overtly political acts within the electoral system, every time we go out dressed or explain to others that we are transgendered, we are having a political impact ("the personal is the political" was the slogan of the early women's liberation movement).

In solidarity with sisters Sally, Alexandra, Deborah, Beauty, Lorna, Joanna, Danielle, and Rikki,

Laura

[Beauty]

[Lorna]