Your thoughts, girls?

[Amanda M]

I find myself very uncomfortable on some CD sites, as there seems to be a high population of genetic males, and of cross dressers whose only ambition is to hook up for sex or to have cybersex.

Given that almost all studies of cross dressers that have been carried out seem to find that the majority are heterosexual, are some of us girls seen as an easy target?

Or am I blowing this out of all proportion ?

What are your thoughts and feelings?

[RebeccaF]

Simple really - if you don't like the atmosphere, just don't go back. You won't find any of that here. It would make me very uncomfortable too.

If you want to stay on the site, I guess all you can do is say 'I don't do that' or 'I'm not that sort of girl!'

xx Becca xx

[Carol Ann]

Well sweetheart we don't do or talk about that kind of stuff here, and more then once I have had a post remove because of context.

Now we all know there is a lot of sexual reason for some folks but we KEEP it in context and clean. This is not a sex site that's why people are screened and if they mess up and don't follow the rules of this forum they are gone.

Enjoy yourself here as everyone is your sister and we love you.

[Mikaela]

I think that this "lifestyle" is extremely varied and its complicatedly multi-faceted. For me personally, there has been a whole new "puberty" that I have gone through after accepting my feelings. So there is a certain sexual curiosity that needs to be sorted out...amongst all the other things that this community goes through. Unfortunately, the internet lends to a certain level of anonymity that emboldens some to be more forward and crude than they would normally be.

I for one, have met many different types of girls here...and I enjoy every single conversation about every single topic with them.

Of course, if you are uncomfortable with the way a conversation is going, simply speak up...no one here has ever been pushy about anything.

[Anthony Simon]

It can be a case of "bad money forcing out good". Like all the loud, nasty stuff drives off the more decent people, so that all you're left with - on many sites - is the obnoxious ones. This site was specifically set up (by the SO of a CD) to be "classy" - i.e none of the stuff that you're talking about.

We've had good moderation since then - and people know what the site's about. So then it continues in the vein that the founder (Galician Girl/Sharon SO) intended, even though she no longer posts.

The wider society seems to have a taste for the salacious element of CDing. Like the most striking images of CDing in popular culture tend to involve sex and death. Maybe some people on these sites live down to (or come with) that expectation.

[Vieja]

I visit three different sites and all are similar in tone and content. I have never found anything objectionable on any of the sites.

Lucky me.


Vieja

[DonnaT]

Given that almost all studies of cross dressers that have been carried out seem to find that the majority are heterosexual, are some of us girls seen as an easy target?

Or am I blowing this out of all proportion ?

What are your thoughts and feelings?

I'm gonna assume you mean - easy targets out in the real world?

Yes, many admirers not in the know consider CDs to be gay and looking, or at least looking. And instead of coming on to the ones who are showing interest in men, the admirers also come on to any they like the look of.

I've not seen it happen that often, when I use to go out to clubs, but have seen it a few times, and they persisted even when told to back off.

So, for the number of times I've seen it, I don't see it as much of a problem on the whole as some would believe. So it shouldn't be blown out of proportion.

YMMV

[Ralitsa]

I have also observed that usually a search with a web browser for "crossdressing" returns all manner of objectionable things. It took me quite a while to sift through all the trash to find this site. And I never go anywhere else because I do not want to be inundated with ads to sell me "crossdresser clothing" "fetish wear" "club wear" (what does that even mean???) or a bunch of other stuff. If I want to buy a dress I will go to Talbots or Macys like any normal woman.
I don't know why there are so many trashy sites, and so few clean ones, except that it is the nature of mass media to appeal to the tasteless. I can't comment on the behaviour of people on those site, as I never visit them. But I do agree that if one bases their understanding of CDing on what they find on the internet, it will be way off from reality.

[Tina]

dear Finoa,
I know what you mean. It took me a lot of time going from one site to a nother before I found this site. But since I've been here I've never read anything that was inapropreate (please excuse any misspelling, good in math, suck at spelling) on this site. I did have one of my replies edited, I didn't realize what I wrote could be misread. But they edited it for me and then posted it. All the girls her and there SO's are very good about keeping it clean as there are SO's (senificant Others) that use this site as well. I hope you like it here and come back. It's helped me with questions I had about me.
Hope to see your posts in the future,
Tina

[Davita]

Tina, nuthin wrong with your speeling. We all can read it. Well I mean everyone else. I can't read; I can only write.

Fiona, those sites you refer to aren't a whole lot different than going to bars. Shopping around was good; glad you didn't just give up looking. Bars are the same way, ever hear of the local family bar? They exist. The world has a mix of good and bad and so does the web. Darn though, it does seem harder to find good web sites than to find good real places.

[Gillian]

The world is full of all kinds of people. Some people have some interesting quirks, and they come from the "all kinds". Even in the CD community, the "all kinds" are present, so we see from one extreme of the spectrum to the other end of the spectrum. One always has to be careful, as we never know the motives of others and what their intentions are. I frequent two sites, and for the most part they are very similar, there are no prowlers on the look out for the unknowing. At times there is specific talk about sexual issues, but not in a "come on" sense, but in the essense of having an understanding within ourselves. As in the real world, one has to be aware of their suroundings, and not get careless. Hopefully this site can cause you to relax, and be comfortable enough to share you thoughts and feelings.

[Belinda]

I dont like salacious sites neither, I prefer decent places like this. When I am dressed as my female alter ego I want to be as decent as I am in male mode, I just want to be a nice gentle girl, which is what I have wanted to be my whole life long.

[Anthony Simon]

I just want to be a nice gentle girl, which is what I have wanted to be my whole life long.

You've always come across to me as a gentle woman (FWIW). And perhaps that's part of the point of the thread - that those of us that have this gentle womanly bit inside do feel put off by those sites.

[Amanda M]

There seems to be a fair consensus here. Really, if I was happy to have some stranger ask if he/she could have oral (cyber)sex with me, I would not, and indeed, should not be here.

It's great to have your views.

Fiona.

[Absaroka]

Fiona, as has been mentioned this site was set up as a place where people could talk about CDing without it turning into a hook up or cyber sex site. So folks who want sex don't come here.

But there are a lot of sites for folks who do want to mostly experience the sexual aspects of cding. If you read any literature about variants in sexual practices, you will find playing dress up is one of the most common ones there is. And the few times I've discussed variations with women who've had a large number of sexual partners, cding always comes up.

Why do you think sex stores always sell costumes? And remember some of the costumes aren't on the costume rack, some are on the lingerie rack.

So if you want to talk about what we talk about here, come here. Let the folks at other sites do what they want to do.

Absaroka