A bit of perspective.

[Sally]

Hi Rikki,

Just to touch on your mention of the autogynephilia debate, to me it's really a no win exercise either way, for the reason that all those people arguing are just as varied in their personal make up as the rest of the world population outside of the TG community.

Dressing in female clothing to me is a natural thing, when I think I look good then I feel good, but wearing a dress is never sexually stimulating for me, also I describe myself as asexual, as are many like people I personally know.

I sometimes wonder about the sincerity of some people who purport to be TS as it's not all that difficult to convince a shrink into signing the consent forms. I have long believed that is one glaring reason why so many people who go through SRS find that after the event it wasn't what they desired after all.

My feelings on the subject are that the person knows best whether they are this or that much better than an outsider looking in. To me a person born true TS is never body delusional, we may not look like the opposite sex but we feel like it, we live it within our brain not between our legs. Being a true TS involves gender and identity disorder concomitantly, it has absolutely nothing to do with sexual preference. Another point which many don't realise is that as a true TS, we do not believe we ARE the opposite sex even though we feel like it, but we believe we SHOULD have been born as a member of the opposite sex.

When I look in the mirror and see the woman looking back at me, it never sexually arouses me but what it does for me is it causes the alienation of mind and body to cease for a time and psychologically makes life more peaceful and less stressful.

In no way do I ever mean to offend anyone, but I always try to get people to dig deep within themselves and to be honest with themselves as to whether their wish to be or live as a member of the opposite sex is honestly what they really desire and need, or is it a dilusional thought driven by sexual stimulation and satisfaction when in full ensemble as the opposite sex. I think one little test is to honestly think of how we feel and what is going through our mind as we go through the process of dressing and changing our image. As the visual change takes place where is the strongest feeling coming from?, between the ears or the legs?

In 1987 there were 3 cases of incorrect operations being performed in Mexico and Germany. These actual cases occurred where the male patient entered hospital for elective surgery and mistakenly, in all 3 cases their genitals were surgically removed, and all 3 were non TS patients.

If people can mentally create a vision of this happening to them, then honestly think how they would feel about it, it then gives them some small idea of how the true TS lives every day with the alienation of mind and body. It also gives some insight into the fact that gender identity is immutable.

How would someone feel if this actually happened to you. In the instance of a man, are you now a woman or are you still a man? Would you feel male or female just on the basis of your genitals or do you still feel male within your mind? What would be the true vision you see when you look in the mirror dressed both as male or female? Would you seek to effect further surgery to complete the transformation or does your brain still say you need to live as a male?

A true TS faces the alienation issue every minute of the day, it's an issue which results from a biological problem, not a psychological one, the issue of feeling aroused by the thought of looking like or becoming a woman, is not part of the equation and my belief is that if it is with anyone, then maybe they should rethink things carefully.

I believe that a Crossdresser really has the best of both worlds and I wish at times that's where my journey had ended. They can create and construct, adapt into it whatever gives them a buzz, then they can dismantle the creation and happily go on with their life.

I hope nobody reads into all this that I am pitting CD against TS, I'd never do that and that is certainly not my intention, and I hope nothing I've said intimates that. I have dear friends from all levels within the TG community who I love and respect for the person they are, not what they do. We all have to do what makes us happy. I have experienced both sides of the fence and I'm merely putting it from my side in the hope that someone may gain something of value from my experiences, even if it only gets them thinking with an open mind.

My Kindest Regards.

Sally.

[Virginia]

As always, Sally your insight is very thought provoking! WE are sexual beings, it is really dificult to divorce ourselves from that aspect of our being.
I like the statement about having the best of both worlds, ie., "undressing" and going on our way. For me and probably a lot of our sisters this is the real "downer." that comes with the physical aspects of CD'ing. As I posted, when I look into the mirror and see Deborah looking back, I only hope I have done her justice up to that point by making her as pretty as I can. Sexually, well I have to admit - Damn, she looks good! and that bit of male emerges and how do I say it?? wants her? or wonders how she would be in bed or if she would even give me a second look. Kind of sounds like a split personality, but not so, I still see Deborah and not just a guy dressed as a girl. Yes, again we who see beyond just the desire to dress have a wonderful gift and hopefully will make the most of it.
Again, Thanks for all you do for us.
Love,
Deborah

[Loretta Ann]

Hi Sally.

I had a hard time trying to figure out just what it is you are saying. When I first began cross-dressing very early in life, I would say it was 99% sexual, and continued that way until my early forties. I then stopped for eight years. When I resumed there was some sexual that very quickly disappeared (in about one months time). It then became completely the opposite, about 1.00 % sexual.

After reading your post I dressed in my finest this morning, including a wig, and neck lace. The only padding went in my bra, no make up. I looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful man who I call Darlene. And I simply adore my small but in a close fitting ankle length skirt. I do not wish to become a woman, or to look 100% like one. But I do enjoy how I feel when dressed like this, and it certainly makes life more peaceful and less stressful. I feel blessed.

In your way of seeing things what does that make me?

*Hugs*
Darlene.

[Sally]

Hello Darlene,

My apologies if I confused you or anyone else, I do tend to get side tracked at times, sometimes my mind gets ahead of the keyboard.

My intention was firstly to convey how I feel and what I see when I look in the mirror. I know there is a multitude of people who are searching for answers as to whether their crossdressing will take them onto further further horizons. I agree that seldom is the grass greener on the other side of the fence and I was trying to give a perspective from someone who has crossed the fence. There are so many people who believe they are or maybe are TS, when in actual fact it's seldom the case.

I'm a bit like you in the fact that although it's nice to discuss clothes and accessories, there is only so much one can say about it all and I like to leave that area to others and try to broach varying subjects which may help people learn or at least get them thinking so that they may find answers to things they may be wondering about.

I know years ago I was hungry for knowledge of anything which would confirm or dispell ideas I had about myself. I never found counselling of much benefit, my greatest assists came from people who had actually been there, done that and these days I spend a lot of my time trying to make the road for those coming behind easier than it was for me.

I'm like you in some ways in that I love to get other peoples opinions, especially when they don't agree with me, as I've never learnt anything from anyone who fully agreed with me. I don't believe there is any right or wrong, people have to respect themselves for who they believe they are and should not believe they have to do this or that because others do. We are all complex individuals and it's true, the grass is seldom greener on the other side.

Also, what I was trying to say, is that it's alright for a man to develop his female personality and integrate it into his life and to let it overflow into his male personality, because I believe as is mentioned by Carl Jung, that the end product becomes so much better. I would also add to this that in all liklihood at some stage during this, he will experience doubts and may possibly form a belief that he needs to change his sex, sometimes for a time the female personality will dominate the male and create a false situation. I was trying to get people who may experience this to look deeper into themselves and try to imagine how it would be to have to live as a member of the opposite sex, because no amount of cosmetic surgery or counselling will ever change a person who was biologically born male into a true female, it's an impossibility.

Regarding people asking themselves whether they are Gay or need a sex change as mentioned in Jungs article, the answer to both is usually no, seldom is it yes, plus it's also a fact that a persons born sex can never be changed, there is no operation or pill which can do that, even though surgery and hormones may change our secondary sex characteristic appearances, the base model always remains the same.

I hope I haven't added to your confusion, LOL , if so then tell me, we'll get there eventually.

My Kindest Regards.

Sally.

[Loretta Ann]

That is so much clearer, thank you Sally. This thread would not have been as complete as it is, with out someone who has crossed over to the other side of the fence providing this information. Sure am glad I questioned you. I have gained by the things you have said.

Darlene.