Do we grow into it?

[Nicole]

Seeing as I am new I browsed a few topics (still don't know if this is the correct board but we will see).
I noticed some titles that discuss the reason why we do it or why we started and I would like to start a new discussion.
Seeing that I am a caretaker for my girlfriend for 4 years now (started at 19) I do a lot in the house. I clean, I vacuum, I cook, I wash, I do the groceries, etc etc. My mom was single for quite a while too so even before being a caretake I also did most of the chores that most of my classmates back then thought were a mother's or womans job.
Seeing that woman are now doing jobs that 50 years ago though to be men only jobs, and men stay at home more to do chores,
Do you think that we grow into crossdressing because of this role? Perhaps we saw something in our parent and copied it? Does the typical Housewife and working man rolemodel affect us?

[Carol Ann]

No

[Nicole]

Surprisingly short answer Carol. Mind to clarify?

[Anthony Simon]

I think Susan, who used to be site-manager here, had a view of herself like that - because it fitted with her personal history. But I think most people see the CDing as an expression of a feminine side of themselves they've been oliged to hide.

Like there still is a big veto on men acting as other than "men" for a high proportion of men. To dress up like a woman goes right against that veto and would be socially unacceptable for many. Doing some housework - or say even being a "house-husband" is less threatening from the point of being a "man".

I think that the general loosening of male and female roles kind of frees it up a bit more for individual CDs, but it's pretty rare for somone to progress from fulfilling the "female" role somewhat to wanting to dress up like a woman.

[DonnaT]

Many of us start at a quite young age, and it's easy to say, since at the time the mother was usually a stay at home mom, that we grew into it. But, if that were the usual case, then there would be a lot more CDs.

So, no, I don't think so, but it could be that way for others. Nature vs. Nurture is a long time debate. I'm in the Nature camp.

[Nicole]

Just thought it was an interesting debate.
I remember that my mom said that she thought I was crossdressing because of the fact I dind't have a proper father figure, and thus grew up to look up to her instead, thus getting the ideas. The fact that feminism became more apparent and roleswap also occuring more perhaps makes it easier. For me, it probably had some influence in the beginning.

[Anthony Simon]

Just thought it was an interesting debate.
I remember that my mom said that she thought I was crossdressing because of the fact I dind't have a proper father figure, and thus grew up to look up to her instead, thus getting the ideas.

I think the UK female impersonator Danny La Rue says something along those lines about having an absent father - and I think women who have sons on their own do tend to worry about the lack of suitable role models.

My analyst said to me that I never really wanted to be a man, which I think is true. Somehow I seem to have the image of men demanding that you treat them like they're enormously important without doing much to justify it - and never wanting to be like that. That partly comes from what I see in the world, but people in my family have also played into that.

I'm not bad at being a man, in some ways. But I think that stuff did tend to make me recoil from masculinity into CDing - in a way that still happens today, when I see all the idiot games men get up to.

[April Rose]

I don't know. As for myself, I have a lot of housewife tendencies: I'm rather servile, wearing aprons, cooking and cleaning and the like, but this is something that developed in middle age. I started cross dressing somewhere around 4.

[Tamroi]

Dear Nicole,
In your "Habits" query you say you "deal with pain easily".
That and your present topic
make me wonder about submissive/dom relationships.
I wonder if crossdressing correlates well with a submissive impulse.
Please, everyone, contribute to a debate at "Submissive/Dom Impulse".

[Nicole]

I don't feel that this topic should be noted in this thread. But in short, no, I am not into BDSM. If I feel pain, I dislike it. It is just I can handle it well.

[Ralitsa]

No, I don't think that doing "skirt work" makes us want to wear skirts. Perhaps it might lead one to think more about it, when otherwise it may never cross the mind. But I've never been good at the house work, or the caring / serving type jobs, and I do quite well in the typically male industries. But like Anthony, I've always been put off by the typical macho man stereotype. It's so primitive, like apes beating their chests and yelling to show how big they are.
Nor have I ever been attracted to the stereotypical female role of subservient domestic.

I like an enlightened, independent, gender undefined view, where each person does according to their talents and nobody is thought superior because of an accident of birth. In this way I can have a satisfying professional career, I can wear skirts and dresses when I like and overalls and steel toe boots when required, I can have a woman for a boss and not feel offended, I can encourage my daughters to be air force pilots or nurses if they wish, and my sons to be computer programmers or to milk cows. I really disagree with any prescription of "because of ABC you will be XYZ."

[Marda]

Do you think that we grow into crossdressing because of this role? Perhaps we saw something in our parent and copied it? Does the typical Housewife and working man rolemodel affect us?

Hi Nicole, You got me ref;ecting back to my own personal "beginnings" here ... search for it and see what I mean ... I was significantly "inspired" by my Mother's beautiful body and how she "performed" for me each day " How Could I resist ??? who would want to "resist" ... My "SEXUALITY"is "NOT" MERELY DANGLING BETWEEN MY LEGS" IT "OOZES" from every pore of my infinitly sensitive skin, and it "strengthens" my infinitly ambitious bones

Love/Marda


Excessive Quote edited LZ

If you need to quote a certain portion of someone's post, that is fine, but there is usually no need to quote an entire post in every response..

http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 31&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;


Ralitsa - Nor have I ever been attracted to the stereotypical female role of subservient domestic.

I like an enlightened, independent, gender undefined view, where each person does according to their talents and nobody is thought superior because of an of birth. In this way I can have a satisfying professional career, I can wear skirts and dresses when I like and overalls and steel toe boots when required, I can have a woman for a boss and not feel offended, I can encourage my daughters to be air force pilots or nurses if they wish, and my sons to be computer programmers or to milk cows. I really disagree with any prescription of "because of ABC you will be XYZ."


*** This is your last warning! Redundant quote removed and successive posts combined, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 31&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

[Sandy K.]

I think our female side comes out stronger in tradition females roles .We probably enjoy these chores more.I dont think doing anything can cause us to be cd'ers.I enjoyed staying home and to help raise the kids during the day.
sandy